11 Not guilty

Customs Officers are quite tolerant these days, but they can still stop you when you are going through the Green Channel and have nothing to declare.

Even really honest people are often made to feel guilty.

The hardened professional smuggler, on the other hand, is never troubled by such feelings, even if he has five hundred gold watches hidden in his suitcase.

When I returned from abroad recently, a particularly officious young Customs Officer clearly regarded me as a smuggler.

‘Have you anything to declare?' he asked, looking me in the eye.

‘No,’ I answered confidently.