How Not to Start Third Grade

How not to start third grade?

如何完美搞砸三年级开学日？

First day, jitter. Hi, my name is Will. Today is my first day of third grade. I can't wait to see my friends and talk about soccer camp. There is just one problem. Today is my little brother Steve's first day of school. He is darting. Kindergarten. If you have a little brother and he is anything like Steve, you know exactly why I am worried.

开学第一天，心里慌慌的。 嗨，我叫威尔。今天是我上三年级的第一天，我迫不及待想见我的好朋友，跟他们聊足球夏令营的趣事。 只有一个麻烦：今天也是我弟弟史蒂夫第一天上幼儿园的日子。 他就要上幼儿园啦。要是你也有个弟弟，而且跟史蒂夫一模一样，你肯定完全懂我为什么这么发愁。

Mom hands us our lunches. Mine was in brown bags. Steve was in a superhero lunchbox. Steve looked at my lunch, then he says, I want a brown bag like Will. He cried. As usual, Steve got what he want.

妈妈把午餐递给我们。我的装在棕色纸袋里，史蒂夫的装在超级英雄便当盒里。 史蒂夫看了看我的午餐，说道：我想要跟威尔一样的棕色纸袋。 他哭了起来。跟往常一样，史蒂夫想要什么就能得到什么。

Time for school, Buster. Steve sent out, let's go. But mom put a stop to that idea. She said dogs and school don't mix. Buster could ride to school with us, but he couldn't go inside. She called it a compromise. I wasn't sure what that mean. I guess it's another word for still get it own way.

该上学啦，巴斯特。 史蒂夫大喊：我们走吧！ 可妈妈否决了这个想法。 她说狗狗不能进学校。 巴斯特可以跟我们一起坐车去学校， 但他不能进到教学楼里。 她说这叫折中方案。 我不太懂那是什么意思。 我猜这就是「最后还是大人说了算」的另一种说法。

In the car, I set my lunch bag on my left knee. Steve set his lunch bag on his left knee. Mom was going on and on about what a big deal Steve first day of kindergarten. But I was more concerned about my first day. I whispered to Steve, If you see me in the hall, just walk on by like you don't know me. Steve giggled, Who are you? I don't know you. He said, Hey mom, who's that sitting next to buster? Mom didn't look amused. That's when I learned back to school lesson one. Your mom will never see your little brother for the monster he is.

车上，我把午餐袋放在左边膝盖上。 史蒂夫也把他的午餐袋放在左边膝盖上。 妈妈一直在念叨史蒂夫第一天上幼儿园是多么重要的大事。 可我更在意我自己的开学第一天啊。 我悄悄对史蒂夫说： 要是你在走廊看见我，就假装不认识我，直接走过去就行。 史蒂夫咯咯笑了起来， 你是谁呀？ 我可不认识你哦。 他还说： 嘿妈妈，坐在巴斯特旁边的那个人是谁呀？ 妈妈看起来一点都不觉得好笑。 就在那时我学到了开学第一课： 你妈妈永远都看不出你弟弟其实是个小魔王。