Horrid Henry’s Grump Card

Horrid Henry’s Grump Card “ I've been so good! ” shrieked Horrid Henry. “ Why can't I have a grump card?” “ You have not been good, ” said Mom. “ You've been awful, ” said Dad. “ No, I haven't, ” said Henry. Mom sighed. “ Just today you pinched Peter and called him names. You pushed him off the comfy black chair. You screamed. You wouldn't eat your sprouts. You-” “ Aside from that, ” said Horrid Henry. “ I’ve been so good. I deserve a grump card. ” “ Henry, " said Dad. “ You know we only give grump cards for exceptionally good behavior. ” “ But I never get one! ” howled Henry. Mom and Dad looked at each other.

“ And why do you think that is?” said Mom. “ Because you're mean and unfair and the worst parents in the world! ” screamed Horrid Henry. What other reason could there be? A grump card was precious beyond gold and silver and rubies and diamonds. If Mom or Dad thought you'd behaved totally spectacularly above and beyond the call of duty they gave you a grump card. A grump card meant that you could erase any future punishment. A grump card was a glittering, golden, get-out-of-jail-free ticket. Horrid Henry had never had a grump card. Just think, if he had even one. . . if Dad was in the middle of telling him off, or banning him from the computer for a week, all Henry had to do was hand him a grump card, and, like magic, the telling off would end, the punishment would be erased, and Henry would be back on the computer zapping baddies.

Horrid Henry longed for a grump card. But how could he ever get one? Even Peter, who was always perfect, only had seven. And he'd never even used a single one. What a waste. What a total waste. Imagine what he could do if he had a grump card. . . He could scoff every sweet and cookie and treat in the house. He could forget all about homework and watch TV instead. And best of all, if Dad ever tried to ban him from the computer or Mom shouted that he'd lost his allowance for a month, all Henry had to do was produce the magic card. What bliss. What heaven. What joy. But how could Henry get a grump card? How? How? Could he behave totally exceptionally above and beyond the call of duty? Horrid Henry considered. Nah. That was impossible. He'd once spent a whole day being perfect, and even then had ended up being sent to his room. So how else to get a grump card?

Steal one? Hmmm. Tempting. Very tempting. He could sneak into Peter's room, snatch a grump card or two, then sneak out again. He could even substitute a fake grump card at the bottom in case Peter noticed his stash was smaller. But then Peter would be sure to tell on him when Henry produced the golden ticket to freedom, and Mom and Dad would be so mad they'd probably double his punishment and ban him from the computer for life.

Or he could kidnap Fluff Puff, Peter’s favorite plastic sheep, and hold him for ransom. Yes! And then when Peter had ransomed him back, Henry could steal him again. And again. Until all Peter’s grump cards were his. Yes! He was brilliant. He was a genius. Why had he never thought of this before? Except. . . if Peter told on him, Henry had a horrible feeling that he would get into trouble. Big, big trouble that not even a grump card could get him out of. Time to think again. Could he swap something for one? What did Henry have that Peter wanted? Comics? No. Chips? No. Killer Boy Rats CDs? No way. Henry sighed. Maybe he could buy one from Peter. Unfortunately, Horrid Henry never had any money. Whatever pitiful allowance he ever had always seemed to vanish through his fingers. Besides, who'd want to give that wormy worm a penny? Better yet, could Henry trick Peter into giving him one? Yeah! They could play a great game called Learn to Share. Henry could tell Peter to give him half his grump cards as Peter needed to learn to stop being such a selfish hog. It could work. . .