Horrid Henry and the Nudie Foodie

Horrid Henry and the Nudie Foodie “ Children, I have some thrilling news, ” burbled Mrs. Oddbod. Horrid Henry groaned. His idea of thrilling news and Mrs. Oddbod's idea of thrilling news were not the same. Thrilling news would be Mutant Max replacing Mrs. Oddbod as principal. Thrilling news would be Miss Battle-Axe being whisked off to ancient Rome to be a gladiator. Thrilling news would be Moody Margaret dumped in a swamp and Perfect Peter sent to prison. Thrilling news wasn't new coat hooks and who was in the Good as Gold book. But wait. What was Mrs. Oddbod saying?“ Our school has been chosen to be a healthy-eating school. Our new healthy and nutritious school meals will be an example for schools everywhere. "

Horrid Henry sat up. What? Healthy eating? Oh no. Henry knew what grown-ups meant by healthy food. Celery. Beets. Eggplant towers. Anything that tasted yucky and looked revolting was bound to be good for him. Anything that tasted yummy was bound to be bad. Henry had plenty of healthy eating at home. Was nowhere safe? “ And guess who's going to help make our school a beacon of healthy eating?” babbled Mrs. Oddbod. “ Only the world-famous chef, Mr. Nudie Foodie. ”

Rude Ralph snorted. “ Nudie, " he jeered. Mr. Nudie Foodie? thought Horrid Henry. What kind of stupid name was that? Were there really parents out there whose last name was Foodie, who'd decided that the perfect name for their son was Nudie? " And here he is, in person, ” proclaimed Mrs. Oddbod. The children clapped as a shaggy-haired man wearing a red-checked apron and a chef's hat bounced to the front of the auditorium.

“ Starting today your school will be the place for delicious, nutritious food, " he beamed. “ I’m not nude, it’s my food that's nude! My delicious, yummalicious grub is just plain scrummy. " Horrid Henry couldn't believe his ears. Just plain, delicious food? Why, that was exactly what Horrid Henry loved. Plain burgers. Plain pizzas with just cheese and nothing else. No sneaky flabby pieces of eggplant or grisly chunks of red pepper ruining the topping. Plain fries slathered in ketchup. Nothing funny. No strange green stuff. Three cheers to more burgers, more fries, and more pizza! Horrid Henry could see it now. Obviously, he'd be asked to create the yummy new school menu of plain, delicious food. Monday: chips, fries, ice cream, cake, burgers Tuesday: burgers, fries, chips, chocolate Wednesday: pizza, fries, chips, ice cream Thursday: chocolate cake Friday: burgers, pizza, fries, chips, cake, ice cream

(After all, it was the end of the week, and nice to celebrate. ) Oh, and fizzywizz drinks every day and chocolate milk. There! A lovely, healthy, plain, nutritious, and delicious menu that everyone would love. Because, let's face it, at the moment school lunches were horrid. They only served burgers and fries once a week, thought Horrid Henry indignantly. Well, he'd soon sort that out. In fact, maybe he should be a famous chef when he got older. Chef Henry, the burger wizard. Happy Henry, hamburger hero. He would open a chain of famous restaurants, called, “ Henry's! Where the eatin’can't be beaten! " Hmmm, well, he'd have time to improve the name while collecting his millions every week from the restaurant tills as happy customers fought their way inside for the chance to chow down on one of Happy Henry's bun-tastic burgers. Kids every where would beg to eat there, safe in the knowledge that no vegetables would ever contaminate their food. Ahhh! Horrid Henry sighed.