Perfect Peter's Revenge

Ha!

哈！

Perfect Peter's Revenge Perfect Peter had had enough! Why oh why did he always fall for Henry's tricks? Every time it happened he swore Henry would never ever trick him again and every time he fell for it. How could he have believed that there were fairies at the bottom of the garden? Or that there was such a thing as a fang mangler? But the time machine was the worst, the very very worst. Everyone had teased him. Even Goody Goody Gordon asked him if he'd seen any spaceships recently. Well, never again. His mean horrible brother had tricked him for the very last time.

完美彼得的复仇计划 完美彼得受够了！ 为什么啊，为什么他每次都要中亨利的诡计啊？ 每次上当后他都发誓，亨利再也别想骗到他 可每次他还是会中招。 他怎么会傻到相信花园尽头真的有小精灵啊？ 还相信有什么「尖牙粉碎机」这种鬼东西？ 但上次的时光机事件是最最最过分的。 所有人都笑话他。 就连乖乖仔戈登都问他最近有没有看到宇宙飞船。 哼，再也不会了。 他那个讨厌的坏哥哥，这是最后一次骗到他了。

I'll get my revenge, thought Perfect Peter, pasting the last of his animal stamps into his album. I'll make Henry sorry for being so mean to me. But what horrid mean nasty thing could he do? Peter had never tried to be revenged on anyone. He asked tidy Ted. Mess up his room, said Ted. But Henry's room was already a mess. He asked Spotless Sam. Put a spaghetti stain on his shirt, said Sam. But Henry's shirts were already stained. Peter picked up a copy of his favourite magazine, Best Boy. Maybe it would have some handy hints on the perfect revenge. He searched the table of contents. Is your bedroom as tidy as it could be? Ten top tips for pleasing your parents. How to polish your trophies. By making your bed is good for you. Readers tell us about their favourite chores.

我要报复他，完美彼得一边把最后一张动物邮票贴进集邮册，一边暗自想。 我要让亨利为欺负我付出代价。 可他能做什么又坏又狠的事呢？ 彼得从来没想过要报复谁。 他问了爱整洁的泰德。 把他的房间弄乱呀，泰德说。 可亨利的房间本来就乱得像猪窝。 他又问了爱干净的萨姆。 把意面酱汁蹭到他衬衫上呀，萨姆说。 可亨利的衬衫本来就全是污渍。 彼得拿起他最爱的杂志《完美男孩》。 说不定上面有完美复仇的实用小妙招呢。 他翻到目录页找了起来。 你的卧室够整洁吗？ 讨父母开心的十个小妙招 如何擦亮你的奖杯 整理床铺对你好处多多 读者分享：我最爱的家务劳动

Reluctantly, Peter closed Best Boy magazine. Somehow he didn't think he'd find the answer inside. He was on his own. I'll tell Mum that Henry eats sweets in his bedroom, thought Peter. Then Henry would get into trouble, big, big trouble. But Henry got into trouble all the time. That wouldn't be anything special. I know, thought Peter. I'll hide Mr Kill. Henry would never admit it, but he couldn't sleep without Mr Kill. So what if Henry couldn't sleep? He'd just come and jump on Peter's head or sneak downstairs and watch scary movies. I have to think of something really, really horrid, thought Peter. It was hard for Peter to think horrid thoughts. But Peter was determined to try.

彼得不情愿地合上《完美男孩》，他总觉得在这上面找不到答案 他只能靠自己想办法了。 我要去跟妈妈说亨利在卧室偷吃糖，彼得想。这样亨利就会 倒大霉，倒超大的霉。可亨利本来就天天挨骂，这也太普通了 根本算不上什么厉害的报复。 有了，彼得想。我把基尔先生藏起来。亨利嘴上不承认，可没有基尔先生他根本 睡不着觉。可要是亨利睡不着怎么办？他肯定会跳过来踩彼得的 脑袋，或者偷偷溜下楼看恐怖电影。 我得想个真的超级超级坏的点子，彼得想。对彼得来说想坏点子太难了 可他下定决心一定要想出来。

He would call Henry a horrid name, like Ugly Toad or Pooh Pooh Face. That would show him. But if I did, Henry would hit me, thought Peter. Wait! He could tell everyone at school that Henry wore nappies! Henry the Big Nappy! Henry the Big Smelly Nappy! Henry Nappy Face! Henry Poopy Pants! Peter smiled happily. That would be a perfect revenge! Then he stopped smiling. Sadly, no one at school would believe that Henry still wore nappies. Worse, they might think that Peter still did. Eek.

他可以给亨利起难听的外号，比如丑蛤蟆或者便便脸。 肯定能气到他。 可我要是这么做，亨利肯定会揍我，彼得想。 等等！ 他可以去学校跟所有人说亨利还在穿尿不湿！ 尿不湿大王亨利！ 臭尿不湿大王亨利！ 尿不湿脸亨利！ 便便裤亨利！ 彼得开心地笑了。 这简直是完美的复仇！ 可紧接着他就笑不出来了。 可惜学校里没人会相信亨利还穿尿不湿的。 更糟的是，大家说不定还会以为是彼得还在穿尿不湿。 咦~

I've got it, thought Peter. I'll put a muddy twig in Henry's bed. Peter had read a great story about a younger brother who'd done just that to a mean older one. That would serve Henry right. But was a muddy twig enough revenge for all of Henry's crimes against him? No, it was not. I give up, thought Peter, sighing. It was hopeless. He just couldn't think of anything horrid enough. Peter sat down on his beautifully made bed and opened Best Boy magazine. Tell mum how much you love her, shrieked the headline.

有办法了，彼得想。 我把一根沾了泥的小树枝放到亨利的床上。 彼得之前看过一个超棒的故事，里面的小弟弟就是这么整他的坏 哥哥的。 亨利这就是活该。 可一根泥树枝，能抵得过亨利欺负他的所有仇吗？ 当然不够。 我放弃了，彼得叹着气想。 根本没辙。 他实在想不出足够坏的点子。 彼得坐到自己铺得整整齐齐的床上，又翻开了《完美男孩》杂志。 大标题明晃晃地写着：告诉妈妈你有多爱她。