Horrid Henry's Underpants

Horrid Henry's Underpants A late birthday present! Whoopee! Just when you thought you'd got all your loot, more treasure arrives. Horrid Henry shook the small thin package. It was light. Very light. Maybe it was--oh, please let it be-MONEY! Of course it was money. What else could it be? There was so much stuff he needed: a Mutant Max lunchbox, a Rapper Zapper Blaster, and, of course, the new Terminator Gladiator game he kept seeing advertised on TV. Mom and Dad were so mean and horrible, they wouldn't buy it for him. But he could buy whatever he liked with his own money.

So there. Ha ha ha ha ha. Wouldn't Ralph be green with envy when he swaggered into school with a Mutant Max lunchbox? And no way would he even let Peter touch his Rapper Zapper Blaster. So how much money had he been sent? Maybe enough for him to buy everything! Horrid Henry tore off the wrapping paper. AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! Great-Aunt Greta had done it again. Great-Aunt Greta thought he was a girl. Great-Aunt Greta had been told ten billion times that his name was Henry, not Henrietta, and that he wasn't four years old. But every year Peter would get $10, or a football, or a computer game, and he would get a Walkie-Talkie- Teasy-Weasy-Burpy-Slurpy Doll. Or a Princess Pamper Parlor. Or Baby Poopie Pants. And now this.

Horrid Henry picked up the birthday card. Maybe there was money inside. He opened it. Dear Henny, You must be such a big girl now, so I know- you'd love a pair of big girl underpants. I'll bet pink is your favorite color. Love, Great-Aunt Greta Horrid Henry stared in horror at the frilly pink lacy underpants, decorated with glittery hearts and bows. This was the worst present he had ever received. Worse than socks. Worse than handkerchiefs. Even worse than a book. Bleccch! Ick! Yuck! Horrid Henry chucked the hideous underpants in the garbage where they belonged.

Ding dong. Oh no! Rude Ralph was here to play. If he saw those underpants Henry would never hear the end of it. His name would be mud forever. Clump clump clump. Ralph was stomping up the stairs to his bedroom. Henry snatched the terrible underpants from the garbage and looked around his room wildly for a hiding place. Under the pillow? What if they had a pillow fight? Under the bed? What if they played hide and seek? Quickly Henry stuffed them in the back of his underpants drawer. I'll get rid of them the moment Ralph leaves, he thought. “ Mercy, Your Majesty, mercy! ” King Henry the Horrible looked down at his sniveling brother.

“ Off with his head! " he ordered. “ Henry! Henry! Henry! " cheered his grateful subjects. “ HENRY! ” King Henry the Horrible woke up. His Medusa mother was looming above him. “ You've overslept! ” shrieked Mom. “ School starts in five minutes! Get dressed! Quick! Quick! ” She pulled the blanket off Henry. “ Wha--wha?” mumbled Henry. Dad raced into the room. “ Hurry! " shouted Dad. “ We're late! " ” He yanked Henry out of bed.