Perfect Peter's Horrid Day

Perfect Peter's horrid day. Ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne. Henry, use your fork, said Dad. I'm using my fork, said Peter. Henry, sit down, said Mum. I'm sitting down, said Peter. Henry, stop spitting, said Dad. I'm not spitting, said Peter. Henry, chew with your mouth shut, said Mum. I'm chewing with my mouth shut, said Peter. Henry, don't make a mess, said Dad. I'm not making a mess, said Peter.

完美彼得的糟糕一天。 呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐呐。 “亨利，用叉子吃饭。”爸爸说。 “我正在用叉子呀。”彼得说。 “亨利，坐好。”妈妈说。 “我正坐得好好的呀。”彼得说。 “亨利，别乱吐东西。”爸爸说。 “我才没有乱吐东西呀。”彼得说。 “亨利，嚼东西的时候把嘴闭上。”妈妈说。 “我嚼东西的时候闭着嘴呢呀。”彼得说。 “亨利，别把地方弄得乱糟糟的。”爸爸说。 “我才没有把地方弄乱呀。”彼得说。

What?' said Mum. Perfect Peter was not having a perfect day. Mum and Dad are too busy yelling at Henry all the time to notice how good I am, thought Peter. When was the last time Mum and Dad had said, Marvelous, Peter, you're using your fork. Wonderful, Peter, you're sitting down. Superb, Peter, you're not spitting. Fabulous, Peter, you're chewing with your mouth shut. Perfect, Peter, you never make a mess. Perfect Peter dragged himself upstairs. Everyone just expects me to be perfect, thought Peter, as he wrote his Aunt Agnes a thank you note for the super thermal vests. It's not fair. From downstairs came the sound of raised voices.

“你说什么？”妈妈问。 完美彼得今天过得可一点都不完美。 爸爸妈妈整天忙着吼亨利，根本没注意到我 有多乖，彼得心里想。 上一次爸爸妈妈说这些话是什么时候来着： “太棒啦彼得，你居然在用叉子！” “真厉害呀彼得，你居然坐得好好的！” “太优秀啦彼得，你居然没乱吐东西！” “太了不起啦彼得，你嚼东西居然闭着嘴！” “太完美啦彼得，你从来都不会把地方弄乱！” 完美彼得拖着脚步慢慢走上了楼。 所有人都觉得我本来就该是完美的，彼得心里想， 他正给艾格尼丝姑妈写感谢信，谢谢她送的超级保暖背心。 这太不公平了。 楼下传来了越来越大的叫嚷声。

Henry, get your muddy shoes off the sofa!' yelled Dad. Henry, stop being so horrid!' yelled Mum. Then Perfect Peter started to think. What if I were horrid? thought Peter. Peter's mouth dropped open. What a horrid thought! He looked around quickly to see if anyone had noticed. He was alone in his immaculate bedroom. No one would ever know he'd thought such a terrible thing. But imagine being horrid. No, that would never do. Peter finished his letter, read a few pages of his favourite magazine, Best Boy, got into bed and turned off his light without being asked. Imagine being horrid.

“亨利，把你沾了泥的鞋子从沙发上拿开！”爸爸大吼。 “亨利，别这么调皮捣蛋！”妈妈大吼。 这时候完美彼得突然冒出了个念头。 要是我也变得调皮捣蛋会怎么样？彼得心里想。 彼得吓得嘴都合不上了。 这想法也太离谱了！ 他飞快地四下张望，看有没有人发现他刚才的想法。 他的卧室干干净净的，只有他一个人在里面。 没人会知道他刚才居然冒出了这么可怕的念头。 不过嘛，试试调皮捣蛋的话会怎么样呢。 不行不行，绝对不能这么做。 彼得写完了信，翻了几页他最爱的杂志《乖宝宝榜样》， 不用任何人催就自己爬上床，关掉了灯。 要是调皮捣蛋的话，会怎么样呢。

What if I were horrid? thought Peter. I wonder what would happen. When Peter woke up the next morning, he did not dash downstairs to get breakfast ready. Instead, he laid in bed for an extra five minutes. When he finally got out of bed, Peter did not straighten the duvet, nor did Peter plump his pillows. Instead, Peter looked at his tidy bedroom and had a very wicked thought. Quickly, before he could change his mind, he took off his pyjama top and did not fold it neatly. Instead, he dropped it on the floor. Mum came in. Good morning, darling. You must be tired sleeping in. Peter hoped Mum would notice his untidy room.

要是我也调皮捣蛋会怎么样？彼得心里想。 我倒想看看会发生什么事。 第二天早上彼得醒过来，没有急冲冲冲下楼去准备早餐。 反而赖在床上多躺了五分钟。 等他终于起床之后，没有把羽绒被拉整齐，也没有把枕头拍蓬松。 恰恰相反，彼得看着自己整整齐齐的卧室，冒出了一个超调皮的坏主意。 趁自己还没改主意，他飞快地脱下睡衣上衣，没有像往常一样叠得整整齐齐。 而是直接把它扔在了地上。 妈妈走了进来。 早上好呀宝贝，你肯定是累坏了，都睡懒觉了。 彼得还盼着妈妈能发现他的房间变乱了呢。

But Mum did not say anything. "'Notice anything, Mum?' said Peter. Mum looked around. "'Nope,' said Mum.' "'Oh,' said Peter. "'What?' said Mum. "'I haven't made my bed,' said Peter. "'Clever you to remember it's wash day,' said Mum. She stripped the sheets and duvet cover and swooped and picked up Peter's pyjama top.

可是妈妈什么都没说。 “你没发现什么不一样吗，妈妈？”彼得问。 妈妈四处看了看。 “没发现呀。”妈妈说。 “哦。”彼得应道。 “怎么啦？”妈妈问。 “我今天还没铺床呢。”彼得说。 “你可真聪明，还记得今天是洗衣日呀。”妈妈说。 她把床单和被套都扯下来，顺手就捡起了彼得扔在地上的睡衣上衣。