Gertrude Mcfuzz

GERTRUDE MCFuzz

There once was a girl-bird named Gertrude McFuz And she had the smallest plain tail ever was. One droopy-droop feather. That's all that she had. And, oh! That one feather made Gertrude so sad. For there was another young bird that she knew, A fancy young birdie named Lolla-Lee-Lou, And instead of one feather behind, she had two! Poor Gertrude! Whenever she happened to spy Miss Lolla-Lee-Lou flying by in the sky, She got very jealous. She frowned. And she pouted. Then, one day she got awfully mad and she shouted: " This just isn't fair! I have one! She has two! I MUST have a tail just like Lolla-Lee-Lou! "

So she flew to her uncle, a doctor named Dake Whose office was high in a tree by the lake And she cried, " Uncle Doctor! Oh, please do you know Of some kind of a pill that will make my tail grow?" " Tut tut! " said the doctor. " Such talk! How absurd! Your tail is just right for your kind of a bird. " Then Gertrude had tantrums. She raised such a din That finally her uncle, the doctor, gave in And he told her just where she could find such a pill On a pill-berry vine on the top of the hill. " Oh, thank you! " chirped Gertrude McFuzz, and she flew Right straight to the hill where the pill-berry grew.

Yes! There was the vine! And as soon as she saw it She plucked off a berry. She started to gnaw it. It tasted just awful. Almost made her sick. But she wanted that tail, so she swallowed it quick. Then she felt something happen! She felt a small twitch As if she'd been tapped, down behind, by a switch. And Gertrude looked 'round. And she cheered! It was true! Two feathers! Exactly like Lolla-Lee-Lou! Then she got an idea! " Now I know what I'll do. . . I'll grow a tail better than Lolla-Lee-Lou! " " These pills that grow feathers are working just fine! " So she nibbled another one off of the vine!

She felt a new twitch. And then Gertrude yelled, " WHEE! Miss Lolla has only just two! I have three! When Lolla-Lee-Lou sees this beautiful stuff, She'll fall right down flat on her face, sure enough! I'll show HER who's pretty! I certainly will! Why, I'll make my tail even prettier still! " She snatched at those berries that grew on that vine. She gobbled down four, five, six, seven, eight, nine! And she didn't stop eating, young Gertrude McFuzz, Till she'd eaten three dozen! That's all that there was.

Then the feathers popped out! With a zang! With a zing! They blossomed like flowers that bloom in the spring. All fit for a queen! What a sight to behold! They sparkled like diamonds and gumdrops and gold! Like silk! Like spaghetti! Like satin! Like lace! They burst out like rockets all over the place! They waved in the air and they swished in the breeze! And some were as long as the branches or trees. And still they kept growing! They popped and they popped Until, " long about sundown when, finally, they stopped. " And NOW, " giggled Gertrude, " The next thing to do Is to fly right straight home and show Lolla-Lec-Lou! And when Lolla sees these, why her face will get red And shell let out a scream and she'll fall right down dead! "