2 Happy Half-birthday, Billion McDingle-Waddlington

2 Happy Half-birthday, Billion McDingle-Waddlington Billion McDingle-Waddlington was eight and a half years old precisely. For his half-birthday, his father, Diamond McDingle-Waddlington, had promised him something rather special: a trip to the zoo.

2 祝你半岁生日快乐，比利恩·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿 比利恩·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿这会儿刚满八岁半，一天不多一天不少。 为了给他庆祝半岁生日，他的爸爸戴蒙德·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿答应了要给他一份特别的礼物：一趟动物园之旅。

Only this wasn't a regular sort of trip to the zoo that involves losing your ticket and standing in the queue for half an hour in the rain and needing a wee and your mum telling you "you should've gone at home and you are just going to have to hold it" and the rain not helping one bit - in fact the torrential droplets appear to fall in time to the words "wee wee, wee wee'. No. It was definitely not that kind of trip. This was a Billion McDingle-Waddlington sort of trip.

但这可不是普通的动物园之行，不会弄丢门票，不会在雨里排半小时队，不会突然想尿尿，也不会听到妈妈说“你刚才在家怎么不去，现在只能憋着”，更不会有烦人的雨——毕竟真要是下大雨，豆大的雨滴都像是踩着“尿尿，尿尿”的节拍往下掉呢。 才不是呢。 这趟旅程绝对不是那种普通的样子。 这可是比利恩·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿专属的特别出行。

At the very moment Lin and Liony were discussing whether Billion McDingle- Waddlington was harmless or not, Billion McDingle-Waddlington adjusted the brim of his safari hat, shined the tips of his metal-capped brogues on the head of his tiger-skin rug and emerged from his bedroom- a bedroom which would one day be described in the newspapers as "an animal graveyard of horrors that sort of smells like an animal graveyard of horrors"

就在林和狮狮还在讨论比利恩·麦克丁格尔-沃丁尔顿到底会不会害人的时候，比利恩正调整着自己游猎帽的帽檐，用虎皮地毯的头蹭亮自己金属鞋头的粗革皮鞋，接着走出了卧室——将来报纸会这么描述这间卧室：“一座恐怖的动物坟场，闻起来的味道也确实和恐怖动物坟场一模一样”。

See, Billion McDingle-Waddlington had a penchant for taxidermy.

你瞧，比利恩·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿特别喜欢动物标本。

Every half-birthday he had been given a gift for his collection. On his first half-birthday, aged just six months, he had witnessed the death of a pigeon on his own front doorstep. His cat, a fluffy white meanie of a beast, had pounced on the bird and delivered it to Billion's crib, much to the nursemaid's horror. But it was his father, Diamond McDingle-Waddlington, who noted the curious fascination in the boy's eye and had the

每一次过半数生日，他都会收到一份能放进自己收藏里的礼物。 他过第一个半数生日，也就是刚六个月大的时候，就在自家前门台阶上亲眼看见一只鸽子死掉了。 他家的猫是只毛茸茸的白色小凶家伙，猛地扑到那只鸟身上，把它叼到了比利恩的婴儿床边，可把保姆吓得不轻。 但还是他爸爸戴蒙德·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿注意到了男孩眼里好奇的着迷神色，于是就让人把

bird stuffed and mounted on the baby's mobile. When Billion McDingle-Waddlington was two and a half years old, he himself had captured a squirrel by tricking the small rodent with a bird feeder full of peanut butter and superglue. Billion's tyranny grew and grew as his appetite for stuffed animals intensified. You may be wondering what turns a young boy into such a creature. Is it that he wasn't given enough ice cream as a child? Or perhaps he didn't play enough video games as a baby?

那只鸟做成了标本，挂在了婴儿的床铃上。 比利恩·麦克丁格尔-沃丁顿两岁半的时候，自己用装满花生酱和强力胶的喂鸟器设下圈套，抓住了一只松鼠。 随着他对动物标本的渴望越来越强烈，比利恩的行事也越来越蛮横霸道。 你可能会好奇，到底是什么让一个小男孩变成了这样的家伙。 是因为他小时候没吃够冰淇淋吗？ 还是说他小时候没玩够电子游戏呀？