Chapter 38

CHAPTER XXXVIII The Bend in the road Marilla went to town the next day and returned in the evening. Anne had gone over to Orchard Slope with Diana and came back to find Marilla in the kitchen, sitting by the table with her head leaning on her hand. Something in her dejected attitude struck a chill to Anne's heart. She had never seen Marilla sit limply inert like that. "Are you very tired, Marilla?" "Yes-no-I don't know," said Marilla wearily, looking up. "I suppose I am tired but I haven't thought about it. It's not that." "Did you see the oculist? What did he say?" asked Anne anxiously. "Yes, I saw him. He examined my eyes. He says that if I give up all reading and sewing entirely and any kind of work that strains the eyes, and if I'm careful not to cry, and if I wear the

第三十八章 道路拐弯处 玛丽拉第二天进城，晚上才回到家。 安妮和戴安娜去果园坡了，回来时看见玛丽拉坐在厨房的桌子旁，头垂在手上。 她颓丧的模样让安妮的心一下子凉了半截。 安妮从没见过玛丽拉这样瘫着，一动不动打不起精神。 “你特别累吗，玛丽拉？” “嗯……不……我不知道，”玛丽拉疲惫地抬起头说。 “我想我是累了，可我还没顾上想这个。 不是累的事儿。” “你去看眼科医生了吗？ 他怎么说？”安妮焦急地问。 “对，我看过了。 他给我检查了眼睛。 他说要是我彻底不看书、不做针线，也不做任何费眼睛的活儿，再忍着不哭，戴上他给我的

glasses he's given me he thinks my eyes may not get any worse and my headaches will be cured. But if I don't he says I'll certainly be stone-blind in six months. Blind! Anne, just think of it!" For a minute Anne, after her first quick exclamation of dismay, was silent. It seemed to her that she could NOT speak. Then she said bravely, but with a catch in her voice: "Marilla, DON'T think of it. You know he has given you hope. If you are careful you won't lose your sight altogether; and if his glasses cure your headaches it will be a great thing." "I don't call it much hope," said Marilla bitterly. "What am I to live for if I can't read or sew or do anything like that? I might as well be blind-or dead. And as for crying, I can't help that when I get lonesome. But there, it's no good talking about it. If you'll get me a cup of tea I'll be thankful. I'm about done out. Don't say anything about this to any one for a spell yet, anyway. I can't bear that folks should come here to question and sympathize and talk about it." When Marilla had eaten her lunch Anne persuaded her to go to bed. Then Anne went

这副眼镜，那我的眼睛就不会恶化，头疼也能治好。 可要是我不照做，他说不出六个月我肯定就全瞎了。 全瞎啊！ 安妮，你想想这是什么滋味啊！” 安妮一开始惊惶地叫了一声，接下来好半天都没说话。 她觉得自己根本说不出话来。 接着她壮起胆子开口，声音却带着哽咽：“玛丽拉，别往坏处想。 你知道，他已经给你希望了呀。 你好好注意，就不会彻底失明的； 要是眼镜能治好你的头疼，那已经是天大的好事啦。” “我可不觉得这是什么希望，”玛丽拉苦涩地说。 “要是我不能看书、不能做针线，什么都干不了，我活着还有什么意思？ 我还不如瞎了——不如死了算了。 至于哭嘛，我孤单的时候忍不住啊。 好了，说这个也没用。 你给我倒杯茶吧，我就感激不尽了。 我快要撑不住了。 这件事你暂时先别告诉任何人，反正先别说。 我受不了别人过来问东问西，同情来同情去，说个没完。” 玛丽拉吃完午饭，安妮劝她上床休息。 接着安妮走

herself to the east gable and sat down by her window in the darkness alone with her tears and her heaviness of heart. How sadly things had changed since she had sat there the night after coming home! Then she had been full of hope and joy and the future had looked rosy with promise. Anne felt as if she had lived years since then, but before she went to bed there was a smile on her lips and peace in her heart. She had looked her duty courageously in the face and found it a friend-as duty ever is when we meet it frankly. One afternoon a few days later Marilla came slowly in from the front yard where she had been talking to a caller-a man whom Anne knew by sight as Sadler from Carmody. Anne wondered what he could have been saying to bring that look to Marilla's face. "What did Mr. Sadler want, Marilla?" Marilla sat down by the window and looked at Anne. There were tears in her eyes in defiance of the oculist's prohibition and her voice broke as she said: "He heard that I was going to sell Green Gables and he wants to buy it."

到东边的山墙房间，独自在黑暗中靠窗坐下，满心沉重，泪湿衣裳。 从她刚回家那天晚上坐在这儿到现在，一切都变了样，多让人难过啊！ 那时候她满是希望和欢喜，未来光明灿烂，满是期许。 安妮觉得好像过了好多年，可上床前，她的嘴角还是带上了笑意，心里也重归平静。 她勇敢地直面了该担的责任，发现责任其实是朋友——只要我们坦然面对，责任向来都是朋友。 几天后的一个下午，玛丽拉从前院慢慢走进屋，她刚和一位访客聊完——那是卡莫迪的萨德勒先生，安妮见过他。 安妮很好奇，他说了什么，让玛丽拉露出这样的神情。 “萨德勒先生来找你做什么呀，玛丽拉？” 玛丽拉在窗边坐下，望着安妮。 她不顾医生不让哭的叮嘱，眼里盈满泪水，声音哽咽地说：“他听说我要卖绿山墙，想要买下它。”

"Buy it! Buy Green Gables?" Anne wondered if she had heard aright. "Oh, Marilla, you don't mean to sell Green Gables!" "Anne, I don't know what else is to be done. I've thought it all over. If my eyes were strong I could stay here and make out to look after things and manage, with a good hired man. But as it is I can't. I may lose my sight altogether; and anyway I'll not be fit to run things. Oh, I never thought I'd live to see the day when I'd have to sell my home. But things would only go behind worse and worse all the time, till nobody would want to buy it. Every cent of our money went in that bank; and there's some notes Matthew gave last fall to pay. Mrs. Lynde advises me to sell the farm and board somewhere-with her I suppose. It won't bring much-it's small and the buildings are old. But it'll be enough for me to live on I reckon. I'm thankful you're provided for with that scholarship, Anne. I'm sorry you won't have a home to come to in your vacations, that's all, but I suppose you'll manage somehow." Marilla broke down and wept bitterly.

“买下它？ 买下绿山墙？” 安妮都不敢相信自己的耳朵。 “哦，玛丽拉，你不是真的要卖掉绿山墙吧！” “安妮，我不知道我还能有别的办法。 我前前后后都想遍了。 要是我眼睛还好，雇个好帮工，我还能留在这儿打理好一切。 可现在我不行。 我说不定会彻底失明，反正我也没法再管这个家了。 唉，我做梦都没想到，活了这么大还要卖掉自己的家。 可拖着不买只会越来越糟，到最后连买的人都没有了。 我们所有的钱都投进银行了，马修去年秋天还有几张票据要付清。 林德太太劝我卖掉农场，出去寄宿——我猜她是想让我去她那儿住。 卖不了多少钱——农场不大，房子也旧了。 不过我想够我生活了。 安妮，我很欣慰你拿了奖学金，生活有了着落。 只是可惜你放假回来没家了，就这点遗憾，不过我想你总能应付过去的。” 玛丽拉再也忍不住，失声痛哭起来。

"You mustn't sell Green Gables," said Anne resolutely. "Oh, Anne, I wish I didn't have to. But you can see for yourself. I can't stay here alone. I'd go crazy with trouble and loneliness. And my sight would go-I know it would." "You won't have to stay here alone, Marilla. I'll be with you. I'm not going to Redmond." "Not going to Redmond!" Marilla lifted her worn face from her hands and looked at Anne. "Why, what do you mean?" "Just what I say. I'm not going to take the scholarship. I decided so the night after you came home from town. You surely don't think I could leave you alone in your trouble, Marilla, after all you've done for me. I've been thinking and planning. Let me tell you my plans. Mr. Barry wants to rent the farm for next year. So you won't have any bother over that. And I'm going to teach. I've applied for the school here-but I don't expect to get it for I understand the trustees have promised it to Gilbert Blythe.

"你绝对不能卖掉绿山墙，"安妮坚定地说。 "哦，安妮，我也不想这么做。 可你自己也能看得出来。 我没法一个人留在这儿。 一堆麻烦再加上孤单，我会疯掉的。 我的视力肯定会越来越差——我知道一定会这样。" "你不用一个人留在这儿呀，玛丽拉。 我会陪着你的。 我不去雷德蒙德大学了。" "不去雷德蒙德！" 玛丽拉把憔悴的脸从双手间抬起来，看向安妮。 "哎呀，你这是什么意思？" "就是我说的这个意思呀。 我不打算拿奖学金了。 你从镇上回家的那晚，我就打定主意了。 你为我做了这么多，玛丽拉，我怎么能把你一个人丢在这儿受苦呢。 我已经想好计划了。 让我给你说说我的安排。 巴里先生明年想租下咱们的农场。 这样你就不用为这件事烦心了。 而且我打算去当老师。 我已经申请了本地的学校——不过我没抱希望，因为听说理事会已经把位置许诺给吉尔伯特·布莱思了。

But I can have the Carmody school-Mr. Blair told me so last night at the store. Of course that won't be quite as nice or convenient as if I had the Avonlea school. But I can board home and drive myself over to Carmody and back, in the warm weather at least. And even in winter I can come home Fridays. We'll keep a horse for that. Oh, I have it all planned out, Marilla. And I'll read to you and keep you cheered up. You sha'n't be dull or lonesome. And we'll be real cozy and happy here together, you and I." Marilla had listened like a woman in a dream. "Oh, Anne, I could get on real well if you were here, I know. But I can't let you sacrifice yourself so for me. It would be terrible." "Nonsense!" Anne laughed merrily. "There is no sacrifice. Nothing could be worse than giving up Green Gables-nothing could hurt me more. We must keep the dear old place. My mind is quite made up, Marilla. I'm NOT going to Redmond; and I AM going to stay here and teach. Don't you worry about me a bit."

不过我可以去卡莫迪的学校——昨晚布莱尔先生在商店亲口跟我说的。 当然，那不像能在埃文利教书那样方便顺心。 但我可以住在家里，至少暖和的天气我能自己开车往返卡莫迪。 就算冬天，我每个周五也能回家。 我们养一匹马就够用了。 哦，玛丽拉，我都安排得妥妥当当啦。 我会给你读故事，哄你开心。 你才不会无聊孤单呢。 我们俩会一起在这里过得舒舒服服、开开心心的。"玛丽拉听着，听得像在做梦一样。 "哦，安妮，我知道只要你在身边，我肯定能过得好。 可我不能让你为我牺牲这么多。 这太让我难受了。" "别瞎说呀！" 安妮快乐地笑出了声。 "这根本不是什么牺牲。 没有什么比失去绿山墙更糟糕——没有什么能比这更让我难过。 我们一定要留住这个亲爱的老地方。 我已经下定决心了，玛丽拉。 我不去雷德蒙德，我就留在这儿教书。 你一点都不用为我担心。"