3 The Airlock

3 The Airlock Once all of the water in the room on the screen had drained away, Dad started turning the wheel to open the door. Again, this brought with it a soft hissing sound. They walked into an even smaller metal room with a round hatch at the opposite end— it was the same one they'd seen on the screen and the floor was still wet. Once they were all crammed inside, 67 shut the door they'd just come through and pressed a button on the wall. More hissing. 'Ah, it's an airlock,' said Rockwell. Astronauts use them. I think it has something to do with getting them used to being out in proper space after they've been sitting in a nice comfy spaceship for ages.' 'That is incorrect,' said 67. ' Everybody, please disregard

what the Tall Human just said. He is displaying an extraordinary lack of knowledge.' 'Whoa!' said an astonished Rockwell. 'That's a bit harsh isn't it? OK, if it's not an airlock what is it then, Einstein?' Actually, my name is 67. I am a second-generation RAZER designed by Josephine Engelberger of Chroma. Albert Einstein was a theoretical physicist best known for his work in the

field of quantum physics and, in particular, for developing the theory of relativity and the mass-energy equivalence formula E- me. It should be clear to anybody with fully functioning cognitive facility that we are not one and the same being.' The robot turned to face Dad. ' Gary Jones, I suspect that the Tall Human is considerably less intelligent than he thinks he is.'

'Is he being serious?' asked a flabbergasted Rockwell, looking at Peanut for back-up. She shrugged her shoulders. I am not a "he",' said 67, facing Rockwell again. RAZERs are not given a pre-assigned gender. My pronouns are they/ them. 'Oh,' said Rockwell. 'Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—' Apology not accepted,' interrupted 67. Rockwell's jaw dropped. Anyway, we are not currently in space, as should be obvious to anyone with a modicum of common sense. We are, in fact, far below the water table and about to enter a sub-aqua environment. As such, certain precautions must be taken regarding air pressure. It needs to be equalised via a decompression sequence. That is to say, it must be adjusted until the pressure in the current chamber matches the pressure in the destination chamber. I will concede that it bears certain similarities to astronautical airlock systems, but on the most fundamental level it is quite different. It really is very simple to understand, even for a being with a limited capacity for assimilating information like Tall Human, here.' 'Yeah, Tall Human,' said a giggling Little-Bit. 'Maybe next time you'll think before you speak.'