Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23 "Come," Bluestar ordered. She began to walk slowly across the camp toward her den, leaving Fireheart with no choice but to follow. Once inside, she told him to sit down, and settled herself on her bedding. "How much do you know?" she asked Fireheart, her blue eyes searching his. "Only that Oakheart once brought two ThunderClan kits to RiverClan," Fireheart admitted. "He told Graypool—that's the queen who suckled them—that he didn't know where they had come from." Bluestar nodded, her gaze softening. "I knew Oakheart would stay loyal to me," she murmured. She raised her head. "He was the kits' father," she added. "Did you guess that much?" Fireheart shook his head. But it made sense, then, that Oakheart had been so desperate for Graypool to care for the helpless kits. "What exactly happened to your kits?" he demanded, curiosity making him unguarded. "Oakheart didn't steal them, did he?" The Clan leader's ears flicked impatiently. "Of

“来。”蓝星命令道。 她开始慢慢地穿过营地朝她的巢穴走去，火心别无选择，只能跟着。 一进屋，她就让他坐下，然后自己躺在被褥上。 “你知道多少？”她问火心，蓝眼睛搜寻着他的眼睛。 Fireheart承认：“只是Oakheart曾经给RiverClan带来了两套ThunderClan套件。 “他告诉格雷普尔——那是给它们喂奶的王后——他不知道它们是从哪儿来的。” 蓝星点了点头，她的目光变得柔和了。 “我知道奥克哈特会一直忠于我，”她喃喃地说。 她抬起头。“他是孩子们的父亲，”她补充说。 “你猜到这么多了吗？”火心摇了摇头。 不过，奥克哈特如此迫切地希望格雷浦能照顾这些无助的孩子，也就说得通了。 “你的套件到底怎么了？”他问道，好奇使他毫无防备。 “奥克哈特没有偷它们，是吗？”氏族首领不耐烦地摇了摇耳朵。 ”

course not." Her eyes met Fireheart's, suddenly clouded with a pain he could not begin to imagine. "No, he didn't steal them. I gave them away." Fireheart stared in disbelief. There was nothing he could do but wait for the she-cat to explain. "My warrior name was Bluefur," she began. "Like you, I wanted nothing more than to serve my Clan. Oakheart and I met at a Gathering early one leaf-bare, when we were still young and foolish. We were not mates for long. When I discovered I was to have kits, I intended to bear them for ThunderClan. No cat asked me who the father was—if a queen does not wish to tell, that is her choice." "But then…?" Fireheart prompted. Bluestar's eyes were fixed on a point far away, as if she were staring into the distant past. "Then our Clan deputy, Tawnyspots, decided to retire. I knew I had a good chance of being chosen to take his place. Our medicine cat had already told me that StarClan held a great destiny for me. But I also knew the Clan would never take a queen nursing kits as deputy."

当然不是。”她的目光与火心的目光相遇，突然笼罩着一种他无法想象的痛苦。 “不，他没有偷。 我把它们送人了。”火心难以置信地瞪大了眼睛。 他没有办法，只能等着母猫解释。 “我的战士名字是蓝皮夫，”她开始说。 “和你一样，我只想为我的氏族服务。 我和奥克哈特是在一个聚会上相识的，那时我们还很年轻，很傻。 我们做伙伴的时间不长。 当我发现我有套件时，我打算为雷霆战队承担它们。 没有猫问我孩子的父亲是谁——如果王后不想说，那是她自己的选择。” “然后……?”Fireheart提示。 蓝星的眼睛盯着远处的一点，仿佛在凝视着遥远的过去。 “后来，我们的宗族代表汤尼波兹决定退休。 我知道我很有可能被选中接替他的位置。 我们的药猫已经告诉我，星际战队给了我一个伟大的命运。 但我也知道，氏族绝不会让女王的护理包当副手。”

"So you gave them away?" Fireheart could not keep the note of disbelief out of his voice. "Couldn't you have waited until they had left their nursery? Surely you could have been made deputy once the kits were old enough to care for themselves." "It wasn't an easy decision," Bluestar told him, her voice rough with pain. "That was a bitter leaf- bare. The Clan was half-starved and I had barely enough milk to feed my kits. I knew that in RiverClan they would be well cared for. In those days the river was full of fish, and RiverClan cats never went hungry." "But to lose them…" Fireheart blinked at the sharpness of pain he felt in sympathy. "Fireheart, I don't need you to tell me how difficult my choice was. I lay awake for many nights, deciding what to do. What was best for the kits… what was best for me…and what was best for the Clan." "There must have been other warriors ready to be deputy?" Fireheart was still struggling to accept that Bluestar had been so ambitious that she would have given away her own kits.

“所以你把它们送人了？”火心无法把怀疑的语气从他的声音中抹去。 “你就不能等到他们离开育儿室以后再说吗？” 等小猎犬长大了，能照顾自己的时候，你当然可以当副手的。” “这不是一个容易的决定，”蓝星告诉他，她的声音因痛苦而粗糙。 “那是一片苦涩的叶子——光秃秃的。 氏族都快饿死了，而我几乎没有足够的牛奶来喂养我的幼崽。 我知道在河族，他们会得到很好的照顾。 在那些日子里，河里满是鱼，河族的猫从不挨饿。” “可是失去他们……”火心同情地眨了眨眼睛。 “火心，我不需要你来告诉我我的选择有多难。 我躺在床上好几个晚上都睡不着，决定着该怎么办。 什么是对套装最好的，什么是对我最好的，什么是对战队最好的。” “一定有别的战士准备当副手吧？”火心仍然难以接受蓝星的野心如此之大，以至于她会放弃自己的装备。

Bluestar jerked her chin up defiantly. "Oh, yes. There was Thistleclaw. He was a fine warrior, strong and brave. But his answer to every problem was to fight. Should I have watched him be made deputy, and then leader, and let him force the Clan into unnecessary wars?" She shook her head sadly. "He died as he lived, Fireheart, a few seasons before you came to join us, attacking a RiverClan patrol on the border. Wild and arrogant to the last. I couldn't stand by and let him destroy my Clan." "Did you give the kits to Oakheart yourself?" "Yes. I spoke to him at a Gathering, and he agreed to take them. So one night I crept out of the camp and took them to the Sunningrocks. Oakheart was waiting, and he took two of them across the river." "Two of them?" Fireheart was startled. "You mean there were more than two?" "There were three." Bluestar bowed her head; her mew was scarcely audible. "The third kit was too weak to cope with the journey. He died with me, by the river." "What did you tell the rest of the Clan?"

蓝星挑衅地扬起下巴。 “哦,是的。有蓟草。 他是个优秀的战士，强壮而勇敢。 但他对任何问题的回答都是战斗。 难道我应该看着他当上副手，然后当上领袖，让他把氏族逼入不必要的战争吗？”她伤心地摇了摇头。 “火心，就在你加入我们的几个季节之前，他在边境袭击了河族的一支巡逻队。 野性和傲慢到最后。 我不能袖手旁观，让他毁灭我的部落。” “是你自己把套件交给奥克哈特的吗？”“是的。 我在一次聚会上跟他谈过，他同意接受。 于是一天晚上，我蹑手蹑脚地走出营地，带他们去了桑宁岩。 奥克哈特在等着，他带着其中两个人过河。” “两个？”火心吓了一跳。 “你是说不止两个？”“有三个。” 蓝星低下了头；她的叫声几乎听不见。 “第三套装备太弱了，无法应付这次旅行。 他和我一起死在河边。” “你是怎么跟氏族的其他人说的？”

Fireheart thought back to the Gathering, when Patchpelt had said only that Bluestar had "lost" her kits. "I…I made it look as if they had been taken from the nursery by a fox or a badger. I tore a hole in the nursery wall just before I left, and when I came back, I said that I had been hunting and had left my kits sleeping safely." Her whole body trembled, and Fireheart could tell that confessing to this lie was causing Bluestar more pain than losing a life. "Every cat searched," she went on. "And I searched too, even though I knew there was no hope of finding them. The Clan was devastated for me." She dropped her head onto her paws. Forgetting for a moment that she was his leader, Fireheart crossed the floor of the den and gave Bluestar's ears a gentle lick. Once again he remembered his dream, and the faceless queen who had faded away, leaving her kits to cry for her. He had thought the queen was Silverstream, but now he realized she was Bluestar as well. The dream had been both prophecy and Clan memory. "Why are you sharing this with

火心回想起聚会，当时Patchpelt只是说蓝星“丢失”了她的工具包。 “我……我把他们弄得好像是被狐狸或獾从育儿室带走的。 就在我离开之前，我在育儿室的墙上撕开了一个洞，当我回来的时候，我说我去打猎了，让我的孩子们安全地睡觉了。” 她整个身体都在颤抖，火心看得出来，承认这个谎言给蓝星带来的痛苦比失去一条生命还要大。 “每只猫都找过了，”她接着说。 我也去找，尽管我知道找不到他们的希望。 氏族为我感到震惊。” 她把头埋在爪子上。 火心一时忘记了她是他的首领，她穿过书房的地板，轻轻地舔了舔蓝星的耳朵。 他又一次想起了他的梦，想起了那个消失的无脸女王，留下她的幼崽为她哭泣。 他原以为王后是银溪，但现在他意识到她也是蓝星。 这个梦既是预言又是氏族的记忆。 “你为什么要和我分享这个？

me?" he asked. When Bluestar looked up, Fireheart could hardly bear to see the sorrow in her eyes. "For many seasons I put the kits out of my mind," she answered. "I became deputy, and then leader, and my Clan needed me. But lately, with the floods, and the danger to RiverClan—and your discoveries, Fireheart, making me hear again what I knew very well already… And now another pair of kits who are half RiverClan, half ThunderClan. Perhaps this time I can make better decisions." "But why tell me?" Fireheart repeated. "Perhaps after so long I want a cat to know the truth," meowed Bluestar with a slight frown. "I think you of all cats might understand, Fireheart. Sometimes there are no right choices." But Fireheart was not sure that he understood at all. His mind was whirling. On one paw he could picture the young warrior, Bluefur, fiercely ambitious, determined to do the best for her Clan, even if it meant unimaginable sacrifices. On the other, he saw a mother grieving for the kits she had abandoned so long ago. And what was probably more real to him than either, the gifted

我？”他问。蓝星抬起头来，火心几乎无法忍受看到她眼中的悲伤。 “有好几个季节，我都不去想那些套装，”她回答说。 “我成了副手，然后是领袖，我的部落需要我。 但最近，随着洪水的发生，河流氏族的危险——还有你的发现，火心，让我再次听到了我已经非常熟悉的东西……现在又多了一对半河流氏族，半雷霆氏族的套件。 也许这次我能做出更好的决定。” “可是为什么要告诉我呢？”Fireheart重复。 “也许过了这么久，我想要一只猫知道真相，”蓝星微微皱着眉头喵喵地说。 “我想你是所有猫中最能理解的，火心。 有时候没有正确的选择。” 但火心不确定自己是否理解了。 他的思想在旋转。他可以用一只爪子描绘年轻的战士蓝毛，雄心勃勃，决心为氏族尽最大努力，即使这意味着难以想象的牺牲。 另一方面，他看到一位母亲为她很久以前抛弃的孩子而悲伤。 而对他来说可能比这两者更真实的是，天才