Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27 The rest of the day passed in a haze of pain, and when Hollyleaf finally curled up in her nest, her dreams were full of darkness. Thick undergrowth surrounded her, leaving scarcely a glimpse of the sky. She heard cats yowling at a distance, but however fast she ran toward them, she never managed to catch up with them. When she woke to see dawn light filtering through the branches of the den, she still felt exhausted, as though she had really been running through that dark forest. She staggered to her paws and prodded Lionblaze. "What are we going to do?" she demanded in an urgent whisper as her brother blinked up at her. "I can't go on like this!" "I don't know." Lionblaze gave a quick glance around the den, as if he was afraid that some cat would overhear. "We'll talk later." He pushed his way out through the branches; convinced that he was trying to avoid her, Hollyleaf followed hard on his paws.

第27章 这天剩下的时间都在痛苦中浑浑噩噩地度过，冬青叶终于蜷回窝里时，梦里全是无边黑暗。 浓密灌丛将她团团围住，几乎看不到一丝天光。 她听见远处有猫号叫，可不管她跑得多快，都追不上他们。 她醒来时，晨光已经透过巢穴枝桠洒了进来，她依旧疲惫不堪，仿佛自己真的在那片黑森林里跑了一整夜。 她晃晃悠悠站起身，推了推狮焰。 “我们该怎么办？”哥哥睁眼看向她时，她焦急地低声追问。 “我再也受不了这样了！” “我不知道。” 狮飞快扫了一眼巢穴四周，像是怕被别的猫偷听。 “我们之后再说。” 他拨开树枝走了出去； 冬青叶看出他想躲开自己，连忙紧紧跟了上去。

"Hollyleaf! Lionblaze!" Brambleclaw spotted them as soon as they emerged from the warriors" den. "Sandstorm is taking out a hunting patrol. Can you go with her?" "Sure," Lionblaze meowed, swerving across the clearing to where Sandstorm waited beside the deputy with Berrynose and Hazeltail. Hollyleaf was still dazed as she followed, as if her paws belonged to some other cat. How could she fit into the Clan's everyday routine, now that she knew the terrible secret of her birth? She felt as if the sky should have cracked open or the moon fallen down into the hollow. "Don't forget, it's the Gathering tonight," Brambleclaw reminded them. "The Clan needs to eat well before the journey." "We will—don't worry," Sandstorm promised, her whiskers twitching as she signaled to her patrol with her tail and headed for the camp entrance. Hollyleaf followed, but she couldn't concentrate on hunting. Pain dazzled her mind like lightning splitting the sky. She had built her life on the warrior code, and now it had failed her.

“冬青叶！狮焰！” 他们刚走出武士巢穴，就被黑莓掌看见了。 “沙风要带狩猎巡逻队出去。 你们能跟她一起去吗？” “没问题。”狮焰应了一声，转向空地，沙风正等在副族长身旁，身边还有莓鼻和榛尾。 冬青叶跟在后面，依旧昏昏沉沉，爪子都好像不属于自己。 如今她知道了自己出身的可怕秘密，怎么还能融入族群的日常？ 她觉得本该天崩地裂，月亮都该掉进山谷才对。 “别忘了，今晚要去森林大会。”黑莓掌提醒他们。 “出发前得让族群吃饱肚子。” “放心吧，我们会的。”沙风保证道，她胡须一抖，用尾巴招呼巡逻队，朝营地入口走去。 冬青叶跟在后面，根本没法集中精力捕猎。 痛苦像劈开天空的闪电，搅得她大脑一片混乱。 她这辈子都恪守武士守则，可现在守则却辜负了她。

It didn't matter anymore; it had been broken too many times. Squirrelflight had broken it by lying; Crowfeather, by falling in love with a medicine cat; but most of all, Leafpool had shattered the code and trampled it into dust. She had betrayed her Clan, her duty as a medicine cat, and her kits. A mouse darted out in front of Hollyleaf's paws and instinctively she leaped on it, her claws sinking into the soft body. A picture of Leafpool flashed in front of her eyes in a pulsing red haze, and she tore at the prey, imagining that she was clawing the life out of the cat she hated so much. "Hollyleaf, stop!" Hazeltail's voice was shocked. "What are you doing?" Hollyleaf's vision cleared. She saw her paws dripping with scarlet: The prey she had caught was reduced to a red pulp. There was nothing left to take back to the fresh-kill pile. Fury surging through her, she rounded on Hazeltail. "Stay out of my fur!" Hazeltail backed away, her eyes wide and scared, then whipped around and plunged away into the bracken.

一切都已经无所谓了；守则被打破了太多次。 松鼠飞打破了它，因为她撒了谎； 鸦羽打破了它，因为他爱上了一名巫医； 可叶池才是将守则彻底碾碎、踩成尘土的那个。 她背叛了她的族群，背叛了她巫医的职责，也背叛了她的幼崽。 一只老鼠窜过冬青叶的脚边，她本能地扑上去，爪子深深扎进它柔软的身体。 叶池的模样在她眼前闪过，裹在跳动的红色迷雾里，她疯狂撕咬着猎物，想象自己正把这个恨之入骨的猫撕碎。 “冬青叶，住手！” 榛尾的声音满是震惊。 “你在干什么？” 冬青叶终于恢复了清醒。 她看见爪子沾满猩红：抓到的猎物已经被撕成了一滩碎肉。 根本没有能带回新鲜猎物堆的东西了。 愤怒涌遍全身，她转身冲向榛尾。 “别管我的事！” 榛尾吓得睁圆眼睛连连后退，接着转身一头扎进蕨丛逃走了。

After the hunting patrol returned, Hollyleaf was too disturbed to stay in the camp. She didn't want to talk anymore, especially not to Lionblaze or Jayfeather. Instead she headed out alone, down to the lake and then along the WindClan border until she reached the ridge and could look out across the rolling moorland. Somewhere out there was the WindClan camp and the cat who was her father. His WindClan blood ran in her veins. But I don't feel half- WindClan! Hollyleaf knew her home was under the trees, hunting mice and squirrels. The WindClan rabbits looked scrawny and tasteless from running across the hills. She hated the open spaces and the unrelenting wind. Gazing out across her father's territory, she yowled silently, No! No! No! As shadows fell across the stone hollow, Firestar called together the cats who were going to the Gathering. Hollyleaf padded up to join Jayfeather and Lionblaze, deliberately not looking at Squirrelflight and Leafpool a few paces away.

狩猎巡逻队回来后，冬青叶心烦意乱，根本没法待在营地里。 她不想再说话了，尤其是不想和狮焰或是松鸦羽说话。 于是她独自出发，走到湖边，沿着风族边界一直走到山脊，眺望连绵起伏的荒原。 荒原深处就是风族营地，住着她的亲生父亲。 她的血管里流着风族的血。 可我一点都不觉得自己是半个风族！ 冬青叶清楚，她的家在雷族的树下，捕猎老鼠和松鼠。 风族的兔子成天在山上跑，看起来又瘦又难吃。 她讨厌开阔的空间，还有永不停歇的风。 望着父亲的领地，她在心里无声怒吼：不！ 不！ 不！ 阴影笼罩石谷后，火星召集了要去参加森林大会的猫。 冬青叶走过去站到松鸦羽和狮焰身边，故意不去看几步外的松鼠飞和叶池。

Graystripe, Brambleclaw, and Sandstorm bounded up, followed by Cinderheart, Poppyfrost, and Berrynose. "Let's go," Firestar meowed. "And the less we say about Sol, the better, okay?" He led them down to the lake and along the edge of the water, splashing through the border stream. Hollyleaf felt every hair on her pelt prickle with disgust as she set paw on WindClan territory. I don't belong here! I want nothing to do with WindClan! More rain had fallen earlier in the day, but now the clouds had cleared away, leaving the full moon to shine brightly. Hollyleaf stopped and stared up at it. Do you approve of what I'm going to do, StarClan? With every paw step she was alert for the sight or scent of WindClan cats. She wondered if Crowfeather had been chosen to go to the Gathering. Why should it matter? she thought fiercely. He's nothing to me. Nothing! Just ahead of her, Firestar was flanked by Graystripe and Sandstorm. "You know, I still miss Fourtrees," Sandstorm murmured. "The moon

灰条、黑莓掌和沙风一跃而起，炭心、罂粟霜和莓鼻跟在他们身后。 "我们走吧，"火星喵声道。 "关于索尔，我们越少提越好，好吗？" 他带着大伙朝湖边走去，沿着水岸前行，溅着水花跨过边界小溪。 冬青叶踏进风族领地时，只觉得浑身每根毛都因厌恶发紧。 我不属于这里！ 我和风族一点关系都没有！ 今天早些时候还下过雨，这会儿云已经散开，满月把天地照得亮堂堂的。 冬青叶停下脚步，抬头望着月亮。 星族，你赞成我要做的事吗？ 每走一步，她都警惕着，生怕撞见或是闻到风族猫的踪迹。 她忍不住猜测，鸦羽会不会被选来参加集会。 这有什么关系呢？ 她倔强地想。 他对我来说什么都不是。 什么都不是！ 在她前方，灰条和沙风一左一右陪在火星身边。 "说真的，我还是想念四棵树，"沙风轻声说。 月亮

seemed brighter there, somehow." Firestar gave her an affectionate nudge. "You sound like an elder!" Sandstorm swatted at him with her tail. "You wait. I'll be the crankiest elder the Clans have ever seen. Mousefur will seem sweet and gentle next to me!" "And hedgehogs will fly," Graystripe meowed. "But I miss the old forest, too," he added. "It's the place we were born. These younger cats will feel just the same about the lake. Isn't that right?" He glanced over his shoulder at Lionblaze and Hollyleaf. Lionblaze managed a brief nod, but Hollyleaf couldn't reply at all. Sheer envy surged over her, jealousy of these cats who knew where they belonged, who had good memories of living by the warrior code, season after season. They don't know it's all a lie! The horseplace was dark and silent when the ThunderClan cats padded past. There was still no sign of WindClan; Hollyleaf assumed they had already made their way to the island. When they reached the tree-bridge, they

在那儿好像都更亮一些。" 火星亲昵地推了她一下。 "你说起这话活像个长老！" 沙风甩尾巴拍了他一下。 "你等着瞧。 我会成为族群里最别扭的长老， 跟我比，鼠毛都显得温柔可亲了！" "那刺猬都能飞上天了，"灰条开口道。 "不过我也想念旧森林，"他补充说。 "那是我们出生的地方。 这些年轻的猫以后也会一样想念这片湖区的。 不对吗？" 他回头扫了一眼狮焰和冬青叶。 狮焰勉强匆匆点了点头，可冬青叶半个字都说不出来。 浓浓的羡慕涌过她的心头，她嫉妒这些猫：他们清楚自己的归宿，拥有遵守武士守则、年复一年生活的美好回忆。 他们根本不知道这一切都是谎言！ 雷族猫轻步走过马场的时候，马场一片漆黑，静悄悄的。 还是没有风族的影子； 冬青叶猜他们已经动身前往小岛了。 当他们走到树桥的时候，他们