Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23 The noise of the storm and the fire faded and the only sound Jayfeather could hear was the blood roaring in his ears. He shook his head, straining to hear what Squirrelflight and Ashfur said next, cursing the blindness that hid their expressions from him. "You're lying." Ashfur's voice was choked with disbelief. "No, I'm not." Squirrelflight spoke softly, but her intensity pierced through the crackle of the flames. "Did you see me give birth? Did I nurse them? Stay in the nursery until they were apprenticed? No." "But—I" Ashfur began, then fell silent. Jayfeather could almost hear the paws of memory racing through his mind. "I fooled all of you, even Brambleclaw," Squirrelflight went on scornfully. "They are not mine." "And no cat in the Clan knows?" Ashfur's disbelief was changing to uncertainty. "No. They're all as blind as you are to the

第二十三章 风暴和火焰的声响渐渐褪去，鸦羽只能听见自己耳朵里血液奔涌的声音。 他晃了晃脑袋，努力想听松鼠飞和蜡毛接下来的对话，心里暗骂自己看不见，没法看清他俩的表情。 “你在撒谎。” 蜡雨的声音满是难以置信，哽咽住了。 “我没有。” 松鼠飞的声音很轻，但她语气里的力道穿透了火焰的噼啪声。 “你亲眼看见我生下他们了吗？ 我亲自哺育他们了吗？ 我在育婴室里待到他们成为学徒吗？ 没有。” “可是——我”蜡毛刚开口，又沉默了。 鸦羽几乎能听见，回忆的爪子在蜡毛脑海里飞奔的声音。 “我把你们全都骗了，连黑莓掌都不例外，”松鼠飞冷冷地继续说道。 “他们不是我的孩子。” “那族里其他猫都不知道吗？” 蜡毛的难以置信慢慢变成了不安。 “不知道。他们全都和你一样，看不清这

truth." Jayfeather sensed a shift in Ashfur's thoughts, reaching out toward power once more. "What do you think will happen when I tell them?" he challenged. "Will your Clanmates let you stay in ThunderClan, knowing you have lied to them— to Firestar, to your sister, to Brambleclaw?" "You'll tell them?" Squirrelflight's voice was sharp with pain. "Do you really think I won't? I can still make you lose what you love most. Brambleclaw will want nothing to do with you. You were a fool to think I would keep your secret. But you have always been a fool, Squirrelflight. I'll let these cats—whomever they belong to—live. But your suffering has only just begun." There was a rustling in the undergrowth, and Ashfur's scent faded as he stalked away. "Jayfeather, here's the branch." Lionblaze's voice was tense. Jayfeather felt his brother's teeth sink into his scruff and lift him bodily until his paws felt the rough bark of the branch underneath them. Lionblaze kept hold of him until he had got his balance. "Straight ahead," he

真相。” 鸦羽察觉到蜡毛的想法变了，他再次朝着力量的方向探去。 “你觉得我把真相说出去之后，会发生什么？”他挑衅地问。 “你的族友知道你骗了他们——骗了火星、骗了你的姐妹、骗了黑莓掌之后，还会让你留在雷族吗？” “你真的要说出去？” 松鼠飞的声音因为痛苦变得尖利。 你真觉得我不会说吗？ 我照样能让你失去你最爱的一切。 黑莓掌会再也不想理你。 你真傻，居然以为我会帮你保守秘密。 不过你一直都很傻，松鼠飞。 我会放了这几个孩子——不管他们到底是谁的孩子。 但你的痛苦才刚刚开始。” 下层灌木丛发出一阵沙沙声，蜡毛走开的时候，他的气味也渐渐淡了。 “鸦羽，树枝在这儿。” 狮焰的声音绷得很紧。 鸦羽感觉到哥哥的牙齿咬住了他的后颈，把他整只猫提了起来，直到他的爪子碰到树枝粗糙的树皮。 狮焰一直咬着他，直到鸦羽站稳了才松开。 “一直往前走，”他

ordered. "Hurry." Jayfeather forced his paws to move, trusting Lionblaze as he stumbled forward with the heat and roaring of the fire on either side. He let out a hiss as pain stabbed one of his pads, as if he had trodden on a burning twig. Then the worst of the heat died away behind him, and he half fell, half leaped off the branch. The ground beneath his paws was hot, but not burning. He was safe! Heartbeats later he heard Hollyleaf and Lionblaze leap down beside him. Thunder rumbled above them, but now it was farther off, as if the storm was moving away. Mercifully rain began to fall again, hissing onto the flames. The wind was dying down; there would be no more danger from falling trees. Jayfeather heard yowls from down in the hollow, as if the cats were returning to the camp, and had spotted the cats on the top of the cliff. But he and his littermates ignored them. "Squirrelflight?" Hollyleaf's voice quivered; Jayfeather could sense her disbelief warring with fear. "That's not true, is it? We are your kits, aren't we?"

吩咐道。 “快点。” 鸦羽强迫自己的爪子迈开步子，他相信狮焰，跌跌撞撞地往前走，火焰的热气和呼啸声在他两侧。 他疼得嘶了一声，一只肉垫被刺痛了，好像踩到了一根烧着的小树枝。 接着，最灼热的温度被他甩在了身后，他半摔半跳地跃下了树枝。 爪子下的地面有点热，但还没到烫伤的程度。 他安全了！ 过了一会儿，他听见冬青叶和狮焰跳到了他身边。 头顶雷声滚滚，但现在已经远了很多，好像风暴正在退走。 万幸的是，雨又下了起来，哗哗落在火焰上。 风渐渐小了，不会再有树木倒下的危险了。 鸦羽听见山谷下面传来猫的叫声，好像其他猫已经回到营地，并且发现了悬崖顶上的他们。 但他和他的同窝手足都没理会那些叫声。 “松鼠飞？” 冬青叶的声音在发抖，鸦羽能感觉到她的难以置信和恐惧交织在一起。 “这不是真的，对不对？ 我们是你的孩子，对不对？”

There was a long pause, but Jayfeather already knew the answer. His mind was filled with Squirrelflight's desperate sorrow and regret —and overwhelming love, the love of a mother for her kits. That much had been a lie among what she had told Ashfur; Squirrelflight did love them. But she was not their mother. "I'm so sorry," Squirrelflight whispered. "I should have told you the truth a long time ago." "What do you mean?" Lionblaze demanded. Jayfeather reeled from the blast of his brother's growing outrage. "We thought it was for the best," Squirrelflight pleaded. "I promise you, it was the hardest thing we've ever done." "We? Who's we?" Lionblaze snapped. Squirrelflight didn't reply, and her mind was such a chaos of love and regret that Jayfeather couldn't pick the answer out of it. "Does Brambleclaw know?" Hollyleaf whimpered; Jayfeather heard her claws tearing at the ground. "He has never lied to you," Squirrelflight meowed. "He... he doesn't know."

沉默了很长一段时间，但鸦羽已经知道答案了。 他的脑海里满是松鼠飞绝望的悲伤和愧疚——还有满满的爱，那是一位母亲对自己孩子的爱。 她对蜡毛说的话里，只有这一点不假：松鼠飞确实爱着他们。 可她确实不是他们的生母。 “真的对不起，”松鼠飞轻声说。 “我早就该告诉你们真相的。” “你这话是什么意思？” 狮焰追问道。 鸦羽被哥哥越来越盛的怒火震得晕乎乎的。 “我们当时觉得这么做是最好的，”松鼠飞恳求道。 “我向你们保证，这是我们做过的最艰难的事。” “我们？ 谁是我们？” 狮焰厉声问道。 松鼠飞没有回答，她的心里满是爱和愧疚，乱成一团，鸦羽也没法从中找出答案。 “黑莓掌知道吗？” 冬青叶抽泣着问，鸦羽听见她的爪子在刨地面。 “他从来没有骗过你们，”松鼠飞说道。 “他……他也不知道。”

"You let him believe that we were his?" Hollyleaf's voice rose to a shrill squeak. "So you lied to him as well. But... if you're not our mother and father, who is?" Jayfeather reached out to Squirrelflight's mind again, searching for memories, but all he could sense was a blur of snow, a long journey, brambles clawing at her pelt and the guilt of her terrible secret already weighing her down. He was aware of another cat with her, but so shadowy that he couldn't make out who it was. "I can't tell you." Squirrelflight's murmur was barely loud enough to hear. "You can, but you won't!" Pain and anger filled Lionblaze's voice. Jayfeather sensed the same feelings in Hollyleaf, too, but something inside him stayed icily calm, as if he had always known this would happen. If they were the three, with the power of the stars in their paws, then it made sense that there would be something extraordinary about where they came from. This was just one more truth to be discovered, something done long ago that had cast a shadow over all the moons since.

“你让他相信我们是他的孩子？”冬青叶的声音拔高，变成了尖利的嘶叫。 “这么说你也骗了他。 可是……既然你不是我们的父母，那我们的亲生父母到底是谁？” 松鸦羽再次探入松鼠飞的思绪，搜寻回忆，可他只能感觉到一片模糊的雪影、一场漫长的旅程，荆棘刮蹭着她的皮毛，那个可怕秘密的愧疚一直沉沉压在她心头。 他察觉有另一只猫和她在一起，但对方身影太模糊，他根本认不出是谁。 “我不能告诉你们。” 松鼠飞的低语轻得几乎听不清。 “你能说，你就是不肯说！” 狮焰的声音里充满了痛苦与愤怒。 松鸦羽也察觉到冬青叶怀着同样的情绪，可他自己内心却冰冷平静，仿佛他早就知道会发生这件事。 如果他们就是那三只爪拥星辰之力的预言猫，那他们出身不凡也就合情合理了。 这不过是又一个等着被揭开的真相，这件事发生在很久之前，从那之后便一直给所有岁月蒙上了阴影。

"I'm sorry." Squirrelflight's voice had grown stronger. "I know it won't help, but I couldn't have loved you more if you had really been mine. I'm so proud of all three of you." "Go away and leave us alone!" Hollyleaf hissed. "You have no right to be proud of us, no right to feel anything toward us! You let us believe you were our mother, and you're not!" "Please..." Squirrelflight begged. Lionblaze's voice was hard. "Just go." Misery rolled off Squirrelflight like a choking cloud, almost carrying Jayfeather off his paws. He heard her turn and go blundering through the undergrowth as if she didn't care whether she burned her pads on still-smoldering leaves. Left behind at the edge of the charred bushes, none of the three spoke. Jayfeather was numb with shock, and could sense that his littermates felt the same. They had almost died, and they had confronted Ashfur in his destructive madness, but most devastating of all was the secret that Squirrelflight had revealed. "If they're not our mother and father, then who are our real parents?" Hollyleaf quavered at

“对不起。” 松鼠飞的声音变得有力了些。 “我知道这没什么用，可就算你们真的是我亲生的孩子，我也不可能更爱你们了。 我真的为你们三个感到无比骄傲。” “走开，别烦我们！” 冬青叶嘶声吼道。 “你根本没资格为我们骄傲，也根本没资格对我们有任何感情！ 你骗我们你是我们的妈妈，你根本就不是！” “求你们……”松鼠飞恳求道。 狮焰的语气冰冷生硬。 “你走吧。” 痛苦像令人窒息的乌云从松鼠飞身上散开，差点把松鸦羽压得站不稳脚。 他听见她转身跌跌撞撞地冲进灌木丛，好像根本不在乎还在闷烧的树叶会不会烫伤她的爪垫。 三只猫留在烧焦的灌木丛边，谁都没有开口说话。 松鸦羽被震惊冻得麻木，他也能感觉到同窝的手足和他感受一样。 他们差点送命，还直面了发疯要毁灭一切的蜡毛，可最让他们崩溃的，还是松鼠飞揭开的这个秘密。 “既然他们不是我们的父母，那我们亲生父母到底是谁？” 冬青叶话音发颤，话刚说到这儿