Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17 Hollypaw woke up long before dawn. The walls of the medicine den glistened with frost. She had tossed and turned for most of the night, and she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. All she could think of was how exciting the battle with ShadowClan had been, and how impossible her apprentice duties had seemed afterward, when she'd been faced with so many injured warriors. Why did healing seem to involve inflicting more suffering first? She stretched and crept out of her nest. Her body ached, but the bruises and scratches had been worth it to see the ShadowClan warriors fleeing across the border like terrified rats. She glanced at Leafpool, who was still asleep. The medicine cat's breath billowed in the freezing air. Careful not to disturb her, Hollypaw slipped out of the den. The brambles at the entrance were stiff with ice, and crackled as she nosed her way out. The clearing was empty. Even the forest was

第十七章 冬青爪天还没亮就醒了。 巫医巢穴的墙蒙着亮晶晶的霜。 大半个晚上她都翻来覆去，她知道自己再也睡不着了。 她满脑子都是和影族的战斗有多刺激，战后面对那么多受伤武士，她的学徒任务却难到无从下手。 为什么治病总得先带来更多痛苦呀？ 她伸了个懒腰，悄悄爬出了窝。 她浑身酸痛，可看到影族武士像受惊的老鼠一样逃过大边界，这些淤青和抓伤都值得了。 她瞥了一眼还在熟睡的叶池。 这位巫医呼出的气息在冰冷的空气里凝成了白雾。 冬青爪小心不吵醒她，悄悄溜出了巢穴。 入口的荆棘被冰冻得硬邦邦，她挤出去的时候发出噼啪的声响。 营地空地空无一人。 连森林都

silent, as though the cold had frozen every leaf, and the dawn sky glowed pink behind the frost- whitened branches at the top of the hollow. She looked hopefully toward the fresh-kill pile. It was empty. The sudden cold had already driven most of the prey deep into their burrows, and the cats would have to wait until hunger drew them out into the open once more. Perhaps she could find something outside the camp. Ferncloud and her kits would need food once the sun rose. She padded across the clearing and out through the thorn barrier. Brook paced outside the entrance, her thick fur sparkling with frost. She jerked her head around when she heard Hollypaw's paw steps. "You're awake early." "I couldn't sleep." Hollypaw yawned. "Has the dawn patrol left yet?" "Not yet." "I thought I could find some prey for Ferncloud," Hollypaw explained. Brook gazed at her curiously. "That's kind, but won't Leafpool need you this morning?" Hollypaw sighed.

安安静静的，仿佛严寒冻住了每一片叶子，山谷顶端覆霜发白的枝桠后，黎明的天空泛着粉光。 她满怀期待地望向鲜猎物堆。 猎物堆空空的。 突如其来的严寒早把大多猎物赶去了洞穴深处，猫群得等猎物饿得受不了再出来才行。 说不定我能在营地外面找到点猎物。 太阳升起后，蕨云和她的幼崽们需要食物。 她轻步穿过空地，从荆刺屏障走了出去。 溪在入口外踱步，厚密的皮毛覆着霜，闪着微光。 听到冬青爪的脚步声，她猛地转过头。 "你醒得好早。" "我睡不着。" 冬青爪打了个哈欠。 "黎明巡逻队已经出发了吗？" "还没有。" "我想帮蕨云找点猎物。"冬青爪解释道。 溪好奇地望着她。 "你真好心，可是叶池今早不需要你帮忙吗？" 冬青爪叹了口气。

"Such a troubled sigh for one so young," Brook meowed, her gray eyes softening with concern. "Leafpool would probably get on better without me," Hollypaw muttered. "Surely not," Brook meowed. "She couldn't have managed to treat everyone without your help yesterday." "She almost had to," Hollypaw confessed. "I was so excited after the battle, I completely forgot that I was a medicine cat apprentice. And then when I tried to help, it was awful. I had to make my Clanmates swallow foul-tasting leaves. And the balms seemed only to make the wounds sting more. It didn't feel like I was helping at all." She sat down miserably. "I thought that I could serve my Clanmates best as a medicine cat. That's why I asked to be Leafpool's apprentice. She's so important to the Clan." "You want to be important?" Brook queried. Hollypaw thought for a moment. It was more complicated than that. "Everyone respects Leafpool and listens to what she says." "But is being listened to and respected the same as serving your Clan?"

"这么小的年纪，就有这么多烦心事呀。"溪开口说，灰眼睛里满是温柔的担忧。 "没有我，叶池说不定反而做得更好。"冬青爪小声嘟囔。 "怎么会呢。"溪说道。 "昨天没有你的帮忙，她根本不可能治好所有伤员呀。" "差点就真得靠她自己了。"冬青爪坦白说。 "战斗结束后我太兴奋，完完全全忘了我是个巫医学徒。 后来我试着帮忙，简直一团糟。 我得让族人们吞下味道恶心的叶子。 药膏好像只会让伤口更刺痛。 我一点都不觉得我帮上了忙。" 她难过地坐了下来。 "我本来以为当巫医就是为族群效力最好的方式。 所以我才请求当叶池的学徒。 她对族群来说太重要了。" "你想要变得重要？" 溪问道。 冬青爪想了一会儿。 事情比这要复杂得多。 "大家都尊重叶池，也都愿意听她说话。" "可是被尊重、被听从，和为族群效力是一回事吗？"

Hollypaw glanced up at the mountain cat. Brook's eyes were round with sympathy. "I guess not," she mewed. "I just thought it would be the best way to help the Clan." "And now you think differently?" "I don't think I can help the Clan at all as a medicine cat," Hollypaw mewed quietly. "I can't remember the names of the herbs. I feel more excited about fighting ShadowClan than fighting sickness. And I'd rather hunt for mice than borage or tansy." Frustration welled inside her. "It's all gone wrong! No cat will ever respect me now." Brook ran her the tip of her tail down Hollypaw's back. "Cats win respect from their Clanmates by being loyal and brave, not holding important positions," she meowed. "Did you think Graystripe less important than Brambleclaw when you fought beside him yesterday? Or Lionpaw less important than Leafpool when he helped you drive off that ShadowClan tom?" Hollypaw shook her head. "It is hard for someone so young to make such big choices," the mountain cat went on. "When I was with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there were

冬青爪抬眼看向这只来自山地的猫。 溪圆圆的眼睛里满是同情。 "我想不是吧。"她说道。 "我只是觉得这是帮助族群最好的方式。" "那你现在不这么想了？" "我觉得我当巫医根本帮不了族群。"冬青爪轻声说。 "我记不住草药的名字。 比起对抗疾病，和影族战斗更让我兴奋。 我宁愿去抓老鼠，也不想去采琉璃苣和艾菊。" 挫败感涌上了她的心头。 "全都搞砸了！ 再也不会有猫尊重我了。" 溪用尾巴尖轻轻扫过冬青爪的后背。 "猫赢得族伴尊重靠的是忠诚和勇敢，不是占据重要的位置哦。"她说道。 "昨天你和灰条并肩作战的时候，你觉得灰条比黑莓掌不重要吗？ 狮爪帮你打跑那个影族公猫的时候，你觉得狮爪比叶池不重要吗？" 冬青爪摇了摇头。 "对这么小的孩子来说，要做这么重大的选择，太难了。"山地猫继续说道。 "我在急水部落的时候，那里有

no such choices. All duties were divided into hunting or guarding. Prey-hunters like me were thin and lithe; guards were stocky and strong. The decision was made from birth which duty a cat would perform best." Hollypaw was shocked. "You couldn't choose at all?" "It wasn't impossible for a cave-guard to be a prey-hunter or a prey-hunter to be a cave-guard, but generally it was a good way to make sure each cat made the best use of the strengths they were born with." "I wasn't born with a head for herbs." Hollypaw sighed. "Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses," Brook urged her. "As a Clan cat, you have the freedom to shape your own destiny, which Tribe cats never have. Use that freedom wisely." Hollypaw remembered her battle training with Cinderpaw. Every move had come so naturally. Even Cloudtail had been impressed. And in the battle she had known instinctively what she was doing when she had knocked that ShadowClan

根本没有这样的选择。 所有职责都分为狩猎和守卫两种。 像我这样的狩猎猫纤细灵活；守卫猫则粗壮强壮。 一只猫最适合做哪份工作，从出生就定好了。" 冬青爪大吃一惊。 "你们完全没得选吗？" "洞穴守卫转做狩猎猫，或是狩猎猫转做洞穴守卫也不是不可能，但通常这种安排能保证每只猫充分发挥天生的长处。" "我天生就没学药草的天赋。" 冬青爪叹了口气。 "多想想你的长处，别总盯着短处，" 溪儿劝她。 作为族群猫，你有决定自己命运的自由，这是部落猫从来没有的。 要好好运用这份自由。" 冬青爪想起了她和炭爪一起练格斗的日子。 每一个动作都做得自然流畅。 连云尾都对她印象深刻。 那次格斗中，当她绊倒那只影族

warrior's paws from under him. "I can fight," she mewed, flexing her claws. "You have warrior strengths," Brook agreed. "What better way to serve your Clan than by being the best warrior you can?" Hollypaw's heart felt lighter than it had for days. "Don't forget, though, you will have to tell Leafpool." Hollypaw sagged a little. "Of course." She looked down at her paws. "She'll think I'm letting her down." "Leafpool is wise enough to see where your gifts lie," Brook meowed. "She will only think you courageous for speaking up now, rather than struggling on out of pride or stubbornness." "Do you think so?" "You will be doing what is best for your Clan. Leafpool will know that." The sound of paw steps inside the thorn barrier warned that the dawn patrol was preparing to leave. Hollypaw blinked gratefully at Brook. "Thank you," she whispered. Brook dipped her head and turned back to

武士摔得四脚朝天。 "我能战斗，" 她动了动爪子，轻声说道。 "你本来就有武士的天赋，" 溪儿赞同道。 "做最好的武士，不就是为族群效力最好的方式吗？" 冬青爪的心情，好多天都没这么轻松了。 "不过你别忘了，你得把这件事告诉叶池。" 冬青爪一下子又有点情绪低落了。 "我知道的。" 她低下头看着自己的爪子。 "她会觉得我让她失望了。" "叶池足够聪明，能看出你的天赋在哪里，" 溪儿说。 "她只会觉得你很勇敢，敢现在说出来，总比为了面子硬撑下去要好。" "你真这么觉得？" "你这么做都是为了族群好。 叶池会明白这一点的。" 荆障里传来脚步声，说明黎明巡逻队正准备出发。 冬青爪感激地朝溪儿眨了眨眼。 "谢谢你，" 她轻声说。 溪儿点了点头，转身回去