34 The Forest Again

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR THE FOREST AGAIN Finally, the truth. Lying with his face pressed into the dusty carpet of the office where he had once thought he was learning the secrets of victory, Harry understood at last that he was not supposed to survive. His job was to walk calmly into Death's welcoming arms. Along the way, he was to dispose of Voldemort's remaining links to life, so that when at last he flung himself across

第三十四章再次来到森林终于，真相大白了。 哈利躺在办公室里，脸贴在满是灰尘的地毯上，他一度以为自己在这里学习胜利的秘密。他终于明白，他不可能活下来了。 他的工作就是平静地走进死神欢迎他的怀抱。 一路上，他要消灭伏地魔与生命的残存联系，这样，当他最后纵身一跃时

Voldemort's path, and did not raise a wand to defend himself, the end would be clean, and the job that ought to have been done in Godric's Hollow would be finished: Neither would live, neither could survive. He felt his heart pounding fiercely in his chest. How strange that in his dread of death, it pumped all the harder, valiantly keeping him alive. But it would have to stop, and soon. Its beats were numbered. How many would there be time for, as he rose and walked through the castle for the last time, out into the grounds and into the forest? Terror washed over him as he lay on the floor, with that funeral drum pounding inside him. Would it hurt to die? All those times he had thought that it was about to happen and escaped, he had never really thought of the thing itself: His will to live had always been so much stronger than his fear of death. Yet it did not occur to him now to try to escape, to outrun Voldemort. It was over,

伏地魔的去路，不用举起魔杖自卫，结局就干净了，本应在戈德里克山谷完成的任务也就完成了：谁也活不下去，谁也活不下去。 他感到自己的心在胸腔里剧烈地跳动。 奇怪的是，在他对死亡的恐惧中，它却更加有力地抽动着，勇敢地让他活了下来。 但它必须停止，而且要快。 它的节拍是有数字的。他站起来，最后一次穿过城堡，走进场地，走进森林，还有多少时间呢？ 当他躺在地板上时，恐惧席卷了他，丧钟在他心里砰砰作响。 死会痛吗？所有那些他以为事情就要发生而又逃掉的时候，他从来没有真正想过事情本身：他想活下去的愿望总是比他对死亡的恐惧要强烈得多。 然而他现在并没有想到要逃跑，摆脱伏地魔。 一切都结束了，

he knew it, and all that was left was the thing itself: dying. If he could only have died on that summer's night when he had left number four, Privet Drive, for the last time, when the noble phoenix-feather wand had saved him! If he could only have died like Hedwig, so quickly he would not have known it had happened! Or if he could have launched himself in front of a wand to save someone he loved.... He envied even his parents' deaths now. This cold-blooded walk to his own destruction would require a different kind of bravery. He felt his fingers trembling slightly and made an effort to control them, although no one could see him; the portraits on the walls were all empty. Slowly, very slowly, he sat up, and as he did so he felt more alive and more aware of his own living body than ever before. Why had he never appreciated what a miracle he was, brain and nerve and bounding heart? It would all be

他知道这一点，剩下的就是事情本身：死亡。 要是他在那个夏天的晚上最后一次离开女贞路四号就好了，那根高贵的凤凰羽毛魔杖救了他！要是他能像海德薇那样死得那么快，他就不会知道发生了什么事了！或者他能冲上一根魔杖去救他爱的人.... 他现在甚至羡慕他父母的死。 这种冷血的自取灭亡需要另一种勇气。 他感到自己的手指在微微颤抖，努力控制自己的手指，但谁也看不见他。墙上的画像都是空的。 慢慢地，非常缓慢地，他坐了起来，当他这样做的时候，他感到比以往任何时候都更有活力，更能意识到自己活着的身体。 为什么他从来没有意识到他的大脑、神经和跳动的心脏是多么的神奇？ 这一切都是

gone... or at least, he would be gone from it. His breath came slow and deep, and his mouth and throat were completely dry, but so were his eyes. Dumbledore's betrayal was almost nothing. Of course there had been a bigger plan; Harry had simply been too foolish to see it, he realized that now. He had never questioned his own assumption that Dumbledore wanted him alive. Now he saw that his life span had always been determined by how long it took to eliminate all the Horcruxes. Dumbledore had passed the job of destroying them to him, and obediently he had continued to chip away at the bonds tying not only Voldemort, but himself, to life! How neat, how elegant, not to waste any more lives, but to give the dangerous task to the boy who had already been marked for slaughter, and whose death would not be a calamity, but another blow against Voldemort. And Dumbledore had known that Harry would not duck out, that he would keep going to the end,

不见了……或者至少，他会离开这里。 他的呼吸缓慢而深沉，他的嘴巴和喉咙完全干燥，但他的眼睛也是如此。 邓布利多的背叛几乎不算什么。 当然，还有一个更大的计划；哈利只是太愚蠢了，他现在才意识到这一点。 他从来没有怀疑过自己的假设，邓布利多希望他活着。 现在他明白了，他的寿命一直是由消灭所有魂器所需的时间决定的。 邓布利多把摧毁它们的任务交给了他，他就乖乖地继续砍断那些把伏地魔、也把他自己和生命联系在一起的纽带！多么巧妙，多么优雅，不再浪费更多的生命，而是把这个危险的任务交给了一个已经被标记为要被屠杀的男孩，他的死亡不会是一场灾难，而是对伏地魔的又一次打击。 邓布利多知道哈利不会逃避，他会一直走到最后，

even though it was his end, because he had taken trouble to get to know him, hadn't he? Dumbledore knew, as Voldemort knew, that Harry would not let anyone else die for him now that he had discovered it was in his power to stop it. The images of Fred, Lupin, and Tonks lying dead in the Great Hall forced their way back into his mind's eye, and for a moment he could hardly breathe: Death was impatient.... But Dumbledore had overestimated him. He had failed: The snake survived. One Horcrux remained to bind Voldemort to the earth, even after Harry had been killed. True, that would mean an easier job for somebody. He wondered who would do it... Ron and Hermione would know what needed to be done, of course.... That would have been why Dumbledore wanted him to confide in two others... so that if he fulfilled his true destiny a little early, they could carry on....

尽管这是他的结局，因为他费了很大劲去了解他，不是吗？ 邓布利多知道，就像伏地魔知道的那样，哈利既然发现自己有能力阻止别人为他而死，就不会再让别人为他而死了。 弗雷德、卢平和唐克斯死躺在礼堂里的画面又钻进了他的脑海，一时间他几乎无法呼吸：死神不耐烦了.... 但是邓布利多高估了他。 他失败了：蛇活了下来。 即使在哈利被杀之后，仍然有一个魂器把伏地魔绑在地球上。 没错，这对某些人来说意味着更容易的工作。 他不知道谁会做这件事…… 罗恩和赫敏当然知道该怎么做了.... 这可能就是邓布利多希望他向另外两个人吐露心声的原因…… 所以如果他早一点完成了他真正的使命，他们就可以继续....

Like rain on a cold window, these thoughts pattered against the hard surface of the incontrovertible truth, which was that he must die. I must die. It must end. Ron and Hermione seemed a long way away, in a far-off country; he felt as though he had parted from them long ago. There would be no good-byes and no explanations, he was determined of that. This was a journey they could not take together, and the attempts they would make to stop him would waste valuable time. He looked down at the battered gold watch he had received on his seventeenth birthday. Nearly half of the hour allotted by Voldemort for his surrender had elapsed. He stood up. His heart was leaping against his ribs like a frantic bird. Perhaps it knew it had little time left, perhaps it was determined to fulfill a lifetime's beats before the end. He did not look back as he closed the office door.

这些思想像雨点打在冰冷的窗上，打在那不容置疑的真理的坚硬表面上，这真理就是他必须死。 我必须死。它必须结束。罗恩和赫敏似乎在很远的地方，在一个遥远的国度。他觉得自己好像很久以前就和他们分开了。 他打定了主意，既不告别，也不解释。 这是一段他们不能一起走的旅程，他们试图阻止他只会浪费宝贵的时间。 他低头看着那块破旧的金表，那是他十七岁生日时收到的礼物。 伏地魔规定的让他投降的时间已经过去了将近半个小时。 他站了起来。他的心像一只狂乱的鸟，在肋骨间跳动。 也许它知道自己剩下的时间不多了，也许它决心在生命结束前完成一生的节拍。 他关上了办公室的门，头也不回。