18 The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN THE LIFE AND LIES OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE The sun was coming up: The pure, colorless vastness of the sky stretched over him, indifferent to him and his suffering. Harry sat down in the tent entrance and took a deep breath of clean air. Simply to be alive to watch the sun

第十八章阿不思·邓布利多的生活和谎言太阳升起来了，纯净、无色的广阔天空向他伸展，对他和他的痛苦漠不关心。 哈利在帐篷入口处坐下，深深地吸了一口干净的空气。 只是为了活着看太阳

rise over the sparkling snowy hillside ought to have been the greatest treasure on earth, yet he could not appreciate it: His senses had been spiked by the calamity of losing his wand. He looked out over a valley blanketed in snow, distant church bells chiming through the glittering silence. Without realizing it, he was digging his fingers into his arms as if he were trying to resist physical pain. He had spilled his own blood more times than he could count; he had lost all the bones in his right arm once; this journey had already given him scars to his chest and forearm to join those on his hand and forehead, but never, until this moment, had he felt himself to be fatally weakened, vulnerable, and naked, as though the best part of his magical power had been torn from him. He knew exactly what Hermione would say if he expressed any of this: The wand is only as good as the wizard. But she was wrong, his case was different. She had not felt the wand spin like

在波光粼粼的白雪皑皑的山坡上爬起来，应该是世界上最大的财富，但他无法欣赏它。失去魔杖的不幸使他的感官变得麻木。 他眺望着白雪覆盖的山谷，远处教堂的钟声在闪闪发光的寂静中敲响。 不知不觉中，他把手指伸进手臂，好像在努力抵抗身体上的疼痛。 他已经数不清自己流了多少次血；他曾经失去了右臂的所有骨头；这次旅行已经在他的胸膛和前臂上留下了伤疤，再加上他手上和前额上的伤疤，但直到这一刻，他才感到自己被致命地削弱了，脆弱了，赤裸了，仿佛他的魔法力量的最好部分被夺走了。 他很清楚，如果他说出这些话，赫敏会怎么说：魔杖的好坏取决于巫师。 但她错了，他的情况不同。 她从来没有感觉到魔杖旋转得那么厉害

the needle of a compass and shoot golden flames at his enemy. He had lost the protection of the twin cores, and only now that it was gone did he realize how much he had been counting upon it. He pulled the pieces of the broken wand out of his pocket and, without looking at them, tucked them away in Hagrid's pouch around his neck. The pouch was now too full of broken and useless objects to take any more. Harry's hand brushed the old Snitch through the mokeskin and for a moment he had to fight the temptation to pull it out and throw it away. Impenetrable, unhelpful, useless, like everything else Dumbledore had left behind— And his fury at Dumbledore broke over him now like lava, scorching him inside, wiping out every other feeling. Out of sheer desperation they had talked themselves into believing that Godric's Hollow held answers, convinced themselves that they were supposed to go back, that it was all part

用指南针的针向敌人射出金色的火焰。 他失去了双核的保护，现在它消失了，他才意识到他是多么依赖它。 他从口袋里掏出断魔杖的碎片，看也没看，就把它们塞进了海格脖子上的小袋里。 袋子里塞满了残破无用的东西，再也装不下了。 哈利的手把旧飞贼擦过了驴子皮，有那么一会儿，他不得不克制住把它拽出来扔掉的冲动。 他对邓布利多的愤怒像熔岩一样涌上心头，灼热着他的内心，抹去了所有其他的感觉。 出于绝望，他们说服自己相信戈德里克山谷有答案，让自己相信他们应该回去，那里是全部的一部分

of some secret path laid out for them by Dumbledore; but there was no map, no plan. Dumbledore had left them to grope in the darkness, to wrestle with unknown and undreamed-of terrors, alone and unaided: Nothing was explained, nothing was given freely, they had no sword, and now, Harry had no wand. And he had dropped the photograph of the thief, and it would surely be easy now for Voldemort to find out who he was.... Voldemort had all the information now.... "Harry?" Hermione looked frightened that he might curse her with her own wand. Her face streaked with tears, she crouched down beside him, two cups of tea trembling in her hands and something bulky under her arm. "Thanks," he said, taking one of the cups. "Do you mind if I talk to you?"

邓布利多给他们安排了一条秘密的道路；但是没有地图，没有计划。 邓布利多让他们独自一人在黑暗中摸索，与未知的、做梦也没有想到的恐怖搏斗。没有任何解释，没有任何自由，他们没有宝剑，而现在，哈利没有魔杖。 他把小偷的照片掉在地上，伏地魔现在肯定很容易就能知道他是谁了.... 伏地魔现在掌握了所有的信息.... “哈利?”赫敏看上去很害怕，生怕他用自己的魔杖诅咒她。 她泪流满面，蹲在他身边，手里拿着两杯茶在颤抖，胳膊下夹着一个笨重的东西。 “谢谢。”他说着，拿起一个杯子。 “你介意我和你谈谈吗？”

"No," he said because he did not want to hurt her feelings. "Harry, you wanted to know who that man in the picture was. Well... I've got the book." Timidly she pushed it onto his lap, a pristine copy of The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore. "Where— how—?" "It was in Bathilda's sitting room, just lying there.... This note was sticking out of the top of it." Hermione read the few lines of spiky, acid- green writing aloud. "'Dear Batty, Thanks for your help. Here's a copy of the book, hope you like it. You said everything, even if you don't remember it. Rita.' I think it must have arrived while the real Bathilda was alive, but perhaps she wasn't in any fit state to read it?" "No, she probably wasn't."

“不，”他说，因为他不想伤害她的感情。 “哈利，你想知道照片里的那个人是谁。 嗯…我拿到书了。” 她胆怯地把那本《阿不思·邓布利多的生平与谎言》放在他的腿上。 “——如何在哪里?”“在巴希达的客厅里，就躺在那儿.... 这张纸条从上面伸出来了。” 赫敏大声念着那几行尖尖的、酸绿的字迹。 “亲爱的巴蒂，谢谢你的帮助。 这是这本书的副本，希望你喜欢。 你什么都说了，即使你不记得了。 丽塔。”我想信一定是在真正的巴希达还活着的时候寄来的，但也许她的身体状况不适合看信吧？”“不，她可能不是。”

Harry looked down upon Dumbledore's face and experienced a surge of savage pleasure: Now he would know all the things that Dumbledore had never thought it worth telling him, whether Dumbledore wanted him to or not. "You're still really angry at me, aren't you?" said Hermione; he looked up to see fresh tears leaking out of her eyes, and knew that his anger must have shown in his face. "No," he said quietly. "No, Hermione, I know it was an accident. You were trying to get us out of there alive, and you were incredible. I'd be dead if you hadn't been there to help me." He tried to return her watery smile, then turned his attention to the book. Its spine was stiff; it had clearly never been opened before. He riffled through the pages, looking for photographs. He came across the one he sought almost at once, the young Dumbledore and his handsome companion,

哈利低头望着邓布利多的脸，一阵狂野的快感涌上心头：现在他将知道所有邓布利多认为不值得告诉他的事情了，不管邓布利多愿不愿意。 “你还在生我的气，是不是？”赫敏说。他抬起头来，看见她又流下了眼泪，他知道他的愤怒一定表现在脸上了。 “不，”他平静地说。“不，赫敏，我知道那是个意外。 你想把我们活着救出来，你真是太棒了。 要不是你在那儿帮我，我早就死了。” 他试图回应她含泪的微笑，然后把注意力转向了书。 它的脊骨很硬；很明显，它以前从未被打开过。 他翻看书页，寻找照片。 他几乎立刻就遇到了他要找的人：年轻的邓布利多和他英俊的同伴，