Chapter 3

3 The True History of Racer Pigeons According to Dave Pigeon 'I'm joking!' Jet said, seeing my horrified face. Jet's jokes really are terrible. We don't have time for her awful jokes, Skipper. You're right, Dave. I'll give her a page right at the end of the book.

But it wasn't Jet's joke that had me scared. I'd known Dave since we were squabs. He'd never been the fastest pigeon in the park. And he had two wings back then. Somebody had to tell him this was an impossible feat. I turned to my best friend. 'There is no way you can beat that parrot. You've never raced before.' 'Don't worry, Skipper. I have racing pigeon in my DNA,' Dave said. 'No other bird can beat a racing pigeon. We're the fastest birds on the planet. 'I thought the peregrine falcon was the fastest bird,' Jet said. 'Pah,' Dave scoffed. 'Falcons are just big pigeons.'

Here is a brief history of why pigeons are the fastest birds in the world. Long, long ago, in the time of the dinosaurs... Before jammy biscuits were ever invented... And garden sheds were just piles of rocks called caves... The Pigeonasaurus ruled the Jurassic world because he was gallant and grey and wore a Medal of the Brave... I think you are describing you, Dave.

Oh yes, sorry. The Pigeonasaurus was gallant and grey and was the fastest-flying dinosaur known to dinosaurkind. I thought the first-ever pigeon was the Archaeoptery. Also known as the Pigeonasaurus. Over millions of years, pigeons proved that they could not be beaten. Our speed was well known and we were legendary for our super-fast message delivery service. The fastest pigeon ever recorded flew at more than 100 miles an hour!

Pigeons are as fast as cars and buses and cars on buses... All vehicles, really... And they are faster than all the other birds of the world, including parrots. If you see a bird you think is flying faster than a pigeon, you are probably just looking at a pigeon. 'And that's why I know I will win this race, Dave chirped to Jet and me with his proudest pigeon nod. 'This is never going to work,' Jet said under her dog breath, as we watched Dave admire his new wing. 'And that's not a joke.'