Chapter 2

2 The Worst Pirate Shanty in the World Dave screeched as Jet licked her lips. 'I'm joking,' she said, yapping with laughter and going back to running around in circles. 'I'm the jokester around here.' I wasn't screeching. Yes, you were. I was just practising my loudest coo. Also known as screeching interror.

'It's true,' the orange hamster said, rolling towards us. 'Jet makes jokes all the time. They're terrible but you'll get used to them.' 'You speak Pigeonese too?' I said to the hamster. I was impressed. It wasn't every day you met a hamster who could do more than run in a big wheel. I knew a hamster once. Could he do more than run in a big wheel? Yes. What did he do? He could also run in a medium-sized wheel.

'Jet taught me Pigeonese. She teaches all the pets,' the hamster squeaked. 'She's been here for years, ever since her owner abandoned her after she lost her leg. Now she can speak all the animal languages.' Watching Jet scamper over the polished floor as she happily ran in circles, I wondered who would be so cruel as to give up such a cheerful dog. Maybe our Human Lady might be tempted to trade in her miserable Mean Cat for Jet? 'It's nice to meet you, Skipper,' the hamster said. 'I'm Gary.' 'And I'm Dave Pigeon,' Dave said, clicking out his

brand new wing and doing his loud I'm in charge around here' voice as he tried to cover up for his earlier screeching. I wasn't screeching! I demand you remove that from the book, Skipper. It's too late now, Dave. Everyone's read it. There was absolutely no screeching, readers. Forget what Skipper just wrote.

Dave straightened up his feathers and turned to Jet. 'Does anyone know where the biscuits are?' 'We have to wait until the Vet Man leaves,' Jet said, nodding towards the man in the white coat. 'Then we raid the fridge and the cupboards in his kitchen.' 'What's a Vet Man?' I asked. 'He's a doctor who fixes sick and broken animals, like he just fixed your friend's wing,' Jet replied. 'I came here when I lost my leg.' 'And I'm here because I kept escaping from my cage and drinking water out of the Human toilets,' Gary piped up. 'I've survived three toilet flushings.'

The doorbell chimed again as our Human Lady waved us goodbye and left. I watched through the window as she rode off on her bike. I was glad Dave had got a new wing but I missed her already. The Vet Man bundled up both Dave and me in his warm hands and carried us through to a back room. He reminded me of the Human Lady but smelt less of baked bread and more of toffee mints and stale socks.