Chapter 10

10 Pigeon Poo Tastes Like Gone-off Milk (with Bits in It) 'Don't I know you?' one of the suited Humans said to Reginald Grimster. Reginald Grimster's face turned red. 'Err—' 'Yes, I do know you!' the Human Man squealed. 'We went to school together.' 'You must be mistaken—' 'It's Reginald Grimster, isn't it?' 'Erm... yes...'

The Human Man sniggered and nudged his bald friend in the seat next to him. 'We were in PE once and a pigeon did a poo on his shoulder.' He turned to Reginald. 'What did we use to call you? Poo Face, wasn't it? Or was it Neck Poo?' 'Shoulder Poo, Reginald Grimster growled through gritted teeth. 'That's right!' The Man slapped his thigh and laughed again, leaning back into his chair. 'We even had a song, didn't we? How did it go?'

'Shoulder Poo, Shoulder Poo, you got a shoulder poo-ooo.' Reginald Grimster said, his voice tiny as he glared at Dave. As the Human Man laughed and wiped tears from his eyes, Reginald Grimster mouthed the words 'I hate pigeons' at Dave. 'Need some help?' Fienne landed suddenly next to me. 'Fienne! Thank Pigeon you're here.' 'Where's Dave?' 'He's trapped down there!' I pointed to the hole in the ceiling. 'I want to see,' came a voice from behind Fienne. 'Who's that?' A patter of feet landed around me and Fienne, and suddenly the space above the

ceiling was filled with pigeons. 'They wanted to help,' Fienne said, shrugging. 'Can I see?' Swan asked, pushing under my wing. 'Swan! What are you doing here?' I said as she nodded at me. 'I thought you didn't do fieldwork?' 'You were so brave to help all these pigeons, Skipper,' she said. 'It was only right I did my bit.' 'If she gets to see, I want to see too,' came another voice.

'And me!' Pigeons clambered all over each other trying to reach the tiny hole in the ceiling tile. They pushed and shoved and bundled in on top of me and Fienne. Plop. 'What was that?' I asked. 'Oh no!' Swan's white feathers around her beak started to turn pink. 'I think I did a poo.' We looked down and saw a white blob floating in the teacup next to Reginald Grimster's old school friend.

We watched as he picked up the cup and took a sip of tea. He shuddered, twisting his lips over his teeth. 'This tea tastes a bit funny.' 'The milk must have gone off,' the bald Human Man said. The school friend looked into his cup and swirled it around. 'But there's bits in it.' I turned to Swan, who looked horrified. 'I didn't mean to,' she said. 'You know it happens when I get nervous.' 'Silence, everyone,' Fienne whistled. 'I can't hear what's going on down there.' 'Perhaps we should move on to why you are here,' the bald Man said to Reginald Grimster. 'What's in the trolley?' The Human Men sat up and eyed the