Chapter 1

1 The Beginning of This Story Instead Dave and me were on a routine croissant heist. It was something we'd done at least a hundred times before. In fact, the first time I met Dave was on a croissant heist. Back then, Dave told me he had just won a Medal of the Brave which he wore all the time. (Though I

相反，戴夫和我正在例行公事地抢劫羊角面包。 这是我们之前至少做过一百次的事情。 事实上，我第一次见到戴夫是在一次羊角面包抢劫中。 当时，戴夫告诉我他刚刚获得了一枚他一直戴着的勇敢勋章。 (尽管我

heard a rumour later it was just a bottle top that had got stuck to him with a piece of chewing gum when he got caught in a bin bag once). Dave was swooping in from the opposite side of the pond when we both spotted a half-eaten croissant abandoned under a bench. We dived down, crashing towards the same gap between two planks of bench wood, and landed at the exact same time. There we were, dangling upside down, stuck in the bench, when a huge goose grabbed our croissant and waddled off with it. A goose, for Bird's sake.

后来听到传言说，这只是一个瓶盖，当他被垃圾袋夹住时，一块口香糖粘在了他身上)。 戴夫从池塘的另一边猛扑过来时，我们都发现了一个被扔在长凳下的吃了一半的羊角面包。 我们往下潜，撞向两根长凳木板之间的同一个缺口，同时落在地上。 就在我们倒挂在长凳上的时候，一只大鹅抓住了我们的羊角面包，摇摇摆摆地走了。 看在上帝的份上，一只鹅。

We never did get that croissant back, did we? Dave! What? Do you want me to tell this story? Sorry, Skipper. On you go.

我们一直没能拿回羊角面包，对吧？ 戴夫!怎么啦？你想让我讲这个故事吗？ 对不起,队长。去吧。

What I was about to say was- we never got our croissant back. We caught up to the goose just fine, but let me tell you some- thing about geese. They are far bigger up close than when you see them in the distance. And they are very pecky. We were grateful to leave that fight with all our feathers. Dave and I have been friends ever since. Have you got to the bit where I almost lost my life? Can you stop interrupting me?! I was just about to start that bit, but you keep ruining the story by giving things away!

我想说的是，我们的羊角面包再也拿不回来了。 我们追上了那只鹅，但让我告诉你一些关于鹅的事情。 它们近距离看比在远处看要大得多。 而且它们非常贪吃。我们很感激能安然无恙地离开那场战斗。 从那以后，戴夫和我一直是朋友。 你读到我差点丢了命的那部分了吗？ 你能别打断我吗？我刚要开始说那部分，但你总是把东西给人看，毁了故事！

Where was I? Ah, yes. The day we met Mean Cat. Our one hundredth croissant heist. It was a bright, sunny morning, and me and Dave were starving. Peck-your- own-feathers-off starving. All we'd had for breakfast were the wet breadcrumbs a Little Human had already chewed and spat out, and a teeny-tiny piece of an iced bun we'd managed to steal from a duck. That's when I spotted a Human Lady. We couldn't believe our luck. Everyone knows that Human Ladies like to carry around crusts with them. Dave said that's what their handbags were for. Dave and I pattered over trying to look friendly and hungry.

我说到哪儿了？啊,是的。我们遇见贱猫的那天。 这是我们第100起羊角面包盗窃案。 那是一个阳光明媚的早晨，我和戴夫都快饿死了。 饿得把自己的羽毛啄掉。 我们早餐吃的只有一个小矮人嚼过又吐出来的湿面包屑，还有我们从一只鸭子那里偷来的一小块冰面包。 就在那时，我看到了一位人类女士。 我们简直不敢相信自己的运气。 大家都知道人类女人喜欢随身携带面包皮。 戴夫说他们的手包就是用来做这个的。 戴夫和我一路走来，努力装出友好和饥饿的样子。