2 Awooga awooga!

CHAPTER TWO Awooga awooga! Of course, Ingrid the duck and her husband, Sir Charles Fotheringay (also a duck, duck fans), waddled into the party fashionably late. After many years of living a wild showbiz life in Hollywood, Ingrid had been to all the parties she would ever need to go to. She looked around, sighed dramatically, and plonked her feathery bottom on a velvet cushion her husband had brought along. She snapped open a small mirror and admired her eye make-up.

'You look absolutely dreamy, darling,' gushed Sir Charles. 'Yes, I know. I cannot help it,' said Ingrid. 'And now we must leave.' 'But we've only just got here, darling! We haven't even said happy birthday to Wiggy.' Ingrid rolled her eyes and waddled over to Wiggy. 'Happy birthday, wonderful party, so sorry, we have to go, goodbye,' she said, giving Wiggy air-kisses on both cheeks. 'Oh, hello! Thank you, Ingrid… and, um, goodbye, I suppose,' said Wiggy. Ingrid cleared her throat and turned to face the crowd. 'Everybody, stop having fun! You will all be late for MY party if you don't get a move on,' she snapped. 'Come at once! And bring the festive crow.' Everyone was too scared of Ingrid to argue, so began dutifully trudging from Wiggy's place to the second party of the day.

'Oh well, it was wonderful while it lasted,' beamed Wiggy, who had guessed his party would be a small one. Grimwood Theatre had been repaired and rebuilt (again) after Pamela the eagle had accidentally destroyed it (again), and today was the grand re-opening party. Ingrid, who was in charge of the whole thing, had banned Pamela from the event. 'She is a feathered nightmare!' Ingrid had quacked. 'Always eating my actors and blowing up my stage and causing a commotion. I will not have her ruining my party and that is that.' It was hard for anyone to disagree. 'Oh dear,' fretted Titus. 'I know Pamela can be difficult but, well, I just hate the idea of anyone being left out of a party. It's just not the Grimwood way!' Ingrid's eyes narrowed. 'For a mayor, you are dreadfully feeble,' she hissed. 'I know!' nodded Titus, bursting into tears. When everyone arrived at the theatre there were many oohs and aahs, because it all looked very fancy. There were lots of candles flickering in jam jars, and a long red ribbon was tied between two small larch trees. In the middle of the stage, a beautiful hare in a floaty dress was playing the guitar. 'Gasp!' gasped Willow. 'Ted, look! It's the actual Anoushka Wispy, your favourite pop star!'

Ted started squealing and jumping up and down, because he was a total 'Wisper', which was what you called a massive Anoushka Wispy fan. 'Like, heyyyy everybody,' said Anoushka, slowly blinking her long eyelashes. 'My name is Anoushka and I'm, like, so happy to welcome you to the grand opening of my brand-new dance studio.' 'QUAAAAACK!' 'Um, sorry,' stuttered Anoushka, glancing at a very angry Ingrid. 'I mean the grand opening of the Grimwood Players'

Theatre. Which will also be my dance studio. For a bit.' Ingrid waddled onto the stage and stood directly in front of Anoushka. 'Listen to me, you cretins! This is the Grimwood Players' Theatre and everybody must know this. Do you understand? I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?' 'Yes, Ingrid,' replied everyone. 'However,' she continued, 'while I am writing my next hit show for the Grimwood Players, I have agreed that Ms Wispy can borrow my theatre for her namby-pamby dancing. That is all. QUAAAAACK.' And she waddled off the stage. Anoushka gave a delicate cough and strummed her guitar. When she spoke, she blinked her eyelashes really slowly and sometimes put her paw to her forehead like she'd just forgotten something. All the Wispy fans sighed at how cute and cool she looked. 'OK, um, great. Like, thanks Ingrid,' said Anoushka. 'Hey, everyone. So yeah, I'll be, like, holding dance auditions over the next few days? Because, like, I need some dancers for my world tour.' Everybody gasped. Willow elbowed Ted extremely hard and waggled her eyebrows. 'Ted!' she hissed. 'That could be US!' Ted just shook his head in disbelief. Anoushka giggled shyly. 'Yeah, I know, pretty exciting, huh? So just, like, bring your legwarmers and a great attitude, yeah? Cool. So, um, I'm going

to sing you some songs if that's OK. So, um, if you could, like, shut up for a second that would be great, haha! This one is called "If Flowers Wore Trousers".' 'Oh yay, I love this one!' squealed Ted, clapping his paws. Anoushka sang in a gentle voice and began to sway from side to side. It was a slow song. It was a sad song. It was a boring song. Nancy groaned and rolled her eyes. 'She sounds like a droopy flower,' snipped Ingrid. 'Ooh, I think she's just marvellous,' sighed Wiggy. 'Yeah, that's cos you FANCY HER!' shouted Willow, and poor Wiggy's badgery face went bright red. Luckily, just at this moment, Sharon the Party Crow invaded the stage. She grabbed the microphone and shouted, 'AWOOOGA! AWOOOGA! IS THIS A PARTY OR IS THIS A FUNERAL? LET'S GET JIGGY WITH IT!' The crowd whooped and cheered and threw their party hats in the air. Where did they get party hats from? Well, WHO KNOWS, it was just the kind of crazy thing that happened whenever Sharon was around.