7 Meeting

CHAPTER SEVEN Meeting Nancy opened her eyes. Two large, hairy black holes loomed in front of her face. 'Hello, Titus,' she mumbled. The hairy black holes were indeed the worried nostrils of Titus. 'Oh, phew,' he said, clutching a hoof to his brow. 'You gave us quite a fright, Nancy! That tyre hit you really hard.' 'Ow,' said Nancy, feeling her head. 'I told them you'd be OK,' said Ted, who was perched next to her, eating some grapes. 'Nancy was always getting into scrapes and japes in the Big City, weren't you, sis?' 'How's the bunny?' she grunted. 'Fine,' said Ted. 'We took her back to Bunnyville. You saved her life, Nance!' Nancy hitched herself up on her elbows and peered out of the caravan window, deep in thought. It was a fresh, bright morning. But she was trying to piece together what had happened last night.

'Something pushed those tyres over, Nance,' said Ted. 'I swear I saw somebody looking at me from inside them.' 'I think we need to warn everyone that something strange is wandering around Grimwood,' said Nancy. 'Absolutely,' said Titus. 'Frank has gone to the Magic Tower to tell Pamela we need to have an emergency meeting this afternoon. She'll announce it on her radio show.' 'Oh, brilliant, the massive killer bird. Everyone will listen to her, I'm sure,' grizzled Nancy. She poured herself a coffee and downed it in one go. As well as eating small mammals, Pamela's other hobby was hosting a phone-in show on Grimwood Radio. In fact, she had the only show on Grimwood Radio, because, er, she had invented Grimwood Radio. Sharon the Party Crow was occasionally permitted to co-host.

Frank swooped up to the nest and gingerly found a safe place to perch. 'What?' squawked Pamela. Frank slowly shook his head at her. 'Pamela.' He tutted. 'How could you? It was their wedding day!' Pamela shrugged.

'A bird's got to eat!' she said. 'At least their marriage was a happy one.' 'Their marriage only lasted about 0.3 seconds, Pamela!' said Frank. 'Like I say, it was a happy one,' said Pamela. 'Have you seen any aliens recently?' 'What? No! Listen, I need you to do an announcement on your radio show. Titus is calling an emergency meeting. This afternoon, outside his caravan.' Pamela nodded. 'Fine,' she squawked. 'I can fit it in after the discussion about sloth manicures.' 'Great, cheers,' said Frank, and he stretched his wings to leave. 'Oh, and, Pamela, would you muzzle up for it, please? Some of Romeo's friends will be there and it's still all a bit raw.' Pamela saluted. The thing is, everyone's eating everyone else all the time in the animal kingdom, you know? You just can't make a fuss about it. I'm a chocolatarian, for what it's worth. Milk chocolate, not white. I'm not an animal.

Later that afternoon, Titus opened the door of his caravan to a crowd of Grimwood residents. He stood upon a tree stump while Ted, Nancy and Wiggy perched on the caravan steps. Nancy's head was bandaged, which she secretly thought made her look tough and hard. Titus cleared his throat. 'Now the important thing is NOT to panic,' said Titus to the assembled crowd. 'I just wanted to tell you that we seem to have an unexpected visitor…' Titus was interrupted by Willow leaping dramatically onto Titus's table. She had an orange rag tied around her head and green face paint smeared on her adorable cheeks. She was holding a tennis racket, the torn-up bit of tablecloth and the monster book, which she dropped dramatically onto the table. 'Listen up, dudes!' she hooted. 'There's a MONSTER on the loose! And it's a whopper, all right!'

'AAAAAAAARGH!' screamed everyone. 'Calm down, everyone!' pleaded Titus. 'Well done, bunny,' grizzled Nancy. 'This has really helped the situation.' Willow unfurled the tablecloth. There were gasps from the crowd as she pointed at the pawprint smeared across it. 'Listen up,' said Willow, pacing back and forth. 'This monster trashed the wedding buffet! This monster is hiding in Grimwood! And last night… this monster almost killed me!' The crowd gasped. 'Except Nancy saved my life,' continued Willow. 'Which is pretty cool, I suppose.' There was whimpering from the crowd. 'Has anyone actually seen it?' asked Monty, who was Wiggy's big brother and a bit of an oaf. 'Me and the boys will take the Jeep, and sort the blighter out! I've probably had bigger monsters for breakfast.' Wiggy blushed. 'Um, we've got a bit of a prob with the Jeep, bro,' he said sheepishly. 'I drove it into a massive hole.' Titus clopped his coconut shells together to get everyone's attention. 'NOBODY is to go looking for monsters!' he said. 'Not until we know what we're dealing with. Keep your little ones underground, and please come and tell me if you see, hear or smell anything peculiar.' Willow was chewing on a twig and spinning her tennis racket.