4 Wedding

CHAPTER FOUR Wedding The next day it was the grand squirrel wedding, and everyone was FREAKING OUT with excitement. The whole place was buzzing. Well, almost. Some places, like Titus's caravan, were suspiciously quiet. Wiggy the badger was rapping on the door. 'Titus!' he shouted. 'Wakey, wakey! It's the middle of the afternoon and we need to get ready for the big event, my old spoon!' Wiggy pressed his ear to the door. He heard some snorting and shuffling about. Titus finally opened the door, wearing a dressing gown and fluffy slippers. He had curlers in his antlers and was peeling cucumber slices from his eyes.

'Oh, Wiggster,' he sighed. 'I'm so sorry. I must have nodded off again. I always do when I'm having a spa session.' 'Not to worry,' chuckled Wiggy, adjusting his jacket and bow tie. 'Everyone is SO excited. A Twinklenuts bride and a Grimwood groom!' Thirty seconds later, Titus clambered out of the caravan with a top hat balanced between his antlers. He and Wiggy

carefully carried the grand wedding cake to the back of Wiggy's Jeep. There was a strange noise. 'MPFFFPFPFPFPF!' 'What was that?' asked Titus, craning his neck around the cake. 'I didn't say anything, old pal,' said Wiggy. 'Careful now… down she goes… perfect.' The strange noise happened again. 'MPFGPGPFPFPF!' 'There, did you hear it?' said Titus, frowning. Wiggy nodded. 'How peculiar,' he said. The friends looked behind them. There was nobody there. Wiggy peered under the Jeep. There was nobody there. Titus lifted up his top hat. There was nobody there. Wiggy shrugged, and the friends got into the car. The wedding cake was behind them on the flatbed.

'MGGGFNNNFFGG! NNNMMMMMFFFGG!' said the wedding cake. Which was weird because wedding cakes can't talk. There was a clearing in the middle of Grimwood often used for treebonk matches, or performances from the Grimwood Players, a theatre group run by Ingrid. Today, it was being used for the wedding. Log benches had been arranged in rows, and some beavers in dungarees were building a small stage. A duck with a clipboard was running around looking VERY stressed. Her name was Tamara, and she was Ingrid's assistant. 'Where are the candles in jars?' she quacked into a phone. 'I need candles in jars! I need flowers! Where is the buffet! Where's the wedding DJ? AAAAAAAAARGH!' Meanwhile, Anoushka Wispy, a beautiful hare from Twinklenuts, was tuning her harp. In Twinklenuts– and now Grimwood– she was well known for being a pop star, fashion icon and author of a book called Don't Stress! Just Be Pretty Like Me. She had written a song especially for the occasion. A choir of mice dressed in white cassocks were doing vocal warm-ups. A cassock is a kind of long coat, don't you know. Hallelujah! 'Hey, furry friends, you're like, so adorable,' said Anoushka, her voice as delicate and pretty as a wildflower.

'But, like, please try not to mess up the song this time, OK? Cos you're all, like, a bit rubbish at singing. Hahaha, sorry! Oh, I love you guys.' 'Sure, Anoushka!' said the mouse choir. Ingrid was perched upon a large velvet cushion. She was wearing her grandest turban. 'I do hope I don't upstage the bride,' she said. 'That would be awful. Charles, darlink! Tell me– and you must tell me the absolute truth– am I simply too beautiful to be seen in public today?' Sir Charles Fotheringay, who had been scattering rose petals, stopped to gaze at his wife. 'My darling,' he said. 'You are a divine feathery queen! The bride will seethe with envy.' Ingrid nodded with satisfaction and put on more eyeshadow. Suddenly, the sky grew dark. A loud cry filled the air. GROOM COMING THROUGH!' Romeo, who was indeed the groom, treebonked his way into the clearing, followed by a dozen more squirrels. They all landed with a thud on the small stage. 'That was your last treebonk sesh as a free squirrel, Romeo!' cried one of the squirrels, raising his paw to the air. Romeo stood up and dusted down his morning suit. 'Aw,' he said. 'I can't wait to be married, bruv. Juliet's the squirrel for me! I knew it from the moment I saw her hide all

those nuts in her cheeks. I'm SO IN LURVE!' And he danced a little jig of joy. 'Urgh,' said Nancy, and she pretended to be sick. 'I think true love is just WONDERFUL!' gushed Ted. 'I think it's weedy and boring,' said Willow, and she blew a raspberry at Romeo for no sensible reason. Soon, all the benches were full. Titus and Wiggy had arrived and placed the grand wedding cake at the centre of a long table, which was groaning with mountains of delicious food. 'Mmmm, BUFFET TIME later,' said Willow, dribbling at the sight of all the snacks. Ted waved at some of his pals from Twinklenuts, who were taking their seats. He spotted Dr Khan, Crusty McTavish, Mo and Reena, who, like Nancy, was a star treebonker.