2 Cooking

CHAPTER TWO Cooking Ted and Nancy arrived at Titus's caravan as the sun was rising. Outside was a large wooden table, upon which sat jam jars stuffed with flowers. Chairs and friendly-looking logs were dotted all over the place, because Titus LOVED having visitors. Ted rapped on the door. 'Titus!' he shouted. 'Are you awake?' There was no answer. 'I'll wake him,' announced Willow, Ted's best friend. 'Where did you come from?' grumbled Nancy. 'Oh, I've been up for AGES!' Willow grinned. 'I've already read five books, been swimming, built a wardrobe and learnt

how to skateboard. Now I'm here to help Titus bake a cake.' Nancy shook her head. 'You're too much, bunny.' 'I'm PERFECT, actually,' announced Willow, and, with her small but firm paw, she thwacked open Titus's caravan door. A hairy lump with massive antlers was snoring underneath a flowery quilt. The lump was Titus, OBVIOUSLY. He was talking in his sleep. 'SNGGGGGGGGG… pheeeeeeeeeee… SNGRLRLRLRL… pheeeeeeeeeee… Oh yes, another cup, please, Vicar… SNRRGOOOR… pheeee… Ooh, is this Darjeeling? What a fabulous blend. Why, yes, it is an antique teapot…' Willow rolled her eyes. 'He's dreamin' about winning that jam competition again,' she said. 'That's one of his fave dreams.' She marched over to Titus's fridge, took out two slices of cheese, and hopped up onto his bed. 'WAKEY, WAKEY!' she bellowed, jumping up and down on poor Titus and slapping his face with cheese. 'RISE AND SHINE!' 'Mmmmnnnnaaaargh!' yelled Titus and suddenly sat bolt upright. He blinked, shook his snout back and forth a few times, and then noticed Willow and the cheese slices. 'Ooh, yum, breakfast in bed!' he said. 'Thank you, young Willow! You are so thoughtful.' He gently folded the cheese slices into his mouth. A few minutes later, everyone was sitting around Titus's table. Nancy poured herself a cup of strong black coffee, while

Ted and Willow enjoyed some Crazyhorns Power Juice. Hello! In case you'd forgotten, Crazyhorns Power Juice is a delicious smoothie made by Titus. Goodness knows what he puts in it. Best not to ask, 1 think. Titus, who was now wearing a chef's hat and apron, plonked some bowls and spoons on the table. 'I can't believe I overslept!' he said. 'Today of all days! I've got to bake the best wedding cake there's ever been!' For weeks, Grimwood had been a-buzz with preparations for a grand wedding of two squirrels, Romeo and Juliet. Romeo was from Grimwood, and Juliet was from Twinklenuts, a lovely place right next door to Grimwood. For years, the two neighbourhoods had been separated by the Swamp of Despair. But Twinklenuts and Grimwood had banded together after a

power-crazed fox called Sebastian Silver wanted to turn the whole place into a car park or something. You can read all about these adventures in another book which isn't this one. I can't remember the name of it. It certainly wasn't The Eric Dynamite Story', which I think you'll agree is the one we're all waiting for. Anyway, Ingrid the duck kept quacking on about how two squirrels called Romeo and Juliet getting married was a bad idea. 'You lot are total nincompoops,' she quacked. 'Everybody knows the famous play by William Shakespeare called Romeo and Juliet, do they not?' Her husband, Sir Charles Fotheringay, ruffled his feathers. 'Darling, I fear this riffraff know nothing of the theatre,' he sighed. 'Yeah, I've seen the film, actually,' said Willow helpfully. 'It was well good. There was fighting and car chases in it and everything.' Ingrid and Sir Charles shivered.

'Movies these days aren't what they were,' said Ingrid snootily. And she knew what she was talking about, because Ingrid used to be a successful movie star, as well as a top- secret government spy and the owner of a global chain of hotels. I know, this sounds like quite a lot for a duck. But when was the last time you sat down and talked- I mean really talked- to a duck? They get up to much more than you'd think, you know. 'Anyway,' continued Ingrid. 'In the play it ended BADLY for Romeo and Juliet.' 'Er, like, SPOILER ALERT,' said Willow, adjusting her chef's apron. 'Anyway, that doesn't mean things will go badly for Romeo and Juliet the squirrels, does it?' Nancy rolled her eyes. 'Things always go bonkers around here,' she scoffed. 'Don't see why a squirrel wedding will be any different.' Titus, meanwhile, was counting eggs. 'That's a lot of eggs,' said Nancy. 'Is there any reason you're trying to build a tower out of them?' 'Just… for… fun!' said Titus, his hoof quivering as he slowly balanced one egg on top of another.

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