11 Whistling

CHAPTER ELEVEN Whistling The badgers hurriedly flung the big squirming lump into the back of the Jeep and drove to Titus's caravan at full pelt. 'Bigfoot coming throooough!' hollered Monty as the Jeep skidded to a halt. Titus was hopping up and down in a panic. 'Let me see, let me see! Oh, I can't look!' he gibbered. Pamela swooped overhead, ready to attack if the Bigfoot caused trouble. 'Heave-ho, lads!' cried Monty, and the badgers heaved the wriggling net to the floor. Then they jumped back as whatever was caught in the net started to free itself. A squirrel tail suddenly poked out. Frank rolled his eyes. 'Oh, for goodness' sake,' he sighed. He flew over and shook the net with his talons. Out tumbled five very confused and dizzy squirrels. One of them had a traffic cone stuck on its head. 'Oh,' said Monty. 'Oh dear,' said Titus.

'What is haaaaappening? I caaan't feel my faaaaace,' said Gerald, the squirrel with the traffic cone on his head, who then walked into a tree. 'The traffic cone confused things, I think,' said Wiggy. Frank pecked a worm from the ground and chewed on it thoughtfully. 'Idiots,' he said. 'I really am surrounded by idiots.' 'I'm a qualified surgeon, actually,' said the worm, but then it died. OK, I'm just going to come out and say it. These badgers are terrible at monster hunting.

The next day, Willow and Ted were launching paper aeroplanes off the balcony in Twinklenuts Library. 'Wahoo, look at them go!' yelled Willow, watching her plane do a loop-the-loop and then crash right into Titus's snout. 'Oh! Titus is here,' said Ted. 'Let's see if they caught the Bigfoot!' They slid down the banister and landed at Titus's feet. Crusty McTavish was eating a jam doughnut. Titus had bought a basket of them along. 'It didn't work, did it?' said Willow, her eyes narrowing. 'That's why you've brought doughnuts. They're "bad news doughnuts", aren't they?' Titus burst into tears and nodded. 'The creature STILL LURKS! Our home has been TAKEN OVER!' And he wailed so loudly that everyone stopped to marvel at the tears, spit and snot spraying out of his sad hairy face. 'There, there, Titus,' said Crusty. 'You can all stay for as long as you like.' 'You're very kind,' sniffed Titus. 'But we can't stay here for ever.' There was murmuring around the library as news spread that the Bigfoot was still out there. 'This is brilliant!' hissed Willow to Ted. 'Why?' asked Ted. 'Because it means the monster is still ON THE LOOSE. We can catch it!' And she pretended to do a kung-fu kick. 'What about tonight's treebonk game?' asked Frank. 'We could cancel?' said Crusty.

Titus wiped his giant nostrils. 'What do you think, Frank?' 'No,' said Frank, flapping his big owlish wings. 'I'm sick of us having to shift about because of a so-called monster hardly any of us have seen. I vote we play the match. We can have lookouts.' Crusty nodded. 'I agree,' he said. 'Who knows? All the commotion might scare the… stranger away.' Titus stood up and nodded his antlers. 'You're absolutely right,' he said. 'We will not be driven from our home by some oafish Bigfoot!' He picked up a handy megaphone that was just lying around, no big deal. 'ATTENTION, FRIENDS! Now, as you probably know, our brave and noble badgers confronted the so-called Grimwood Bigfoot last night. Except they actually caught most of the Grimwood Treebonk team having a silent disco…' 'WASSUUUUUUP!' yelled Ginger Fiasco, raising her fist in the air. 'Anyway, we will NOT be driven out of our home!' continued Titus. 'Monster or no monster, THE TREEBONK FRIENDLY BETWEEN GRIMWOOD AND TWINKLENUTS TONIGHT… IS GOING AHEAD!' 'Yay!' 'Hurrah!' 'Oh, nuts.' Frank stalked over to a small pile of tired-looking squirrels. It was the Grimwood Treebonk team.

'Did you hear that, team?' shouted Frank. The squirrels groaned and clutched their small furry heads. 'Spending half the night at a silent disco isn't my idea of sensible training,' he continued. 'Get the traffic cone off your head in the end, did we, Gerald?' Gerald nodded and rubbed his sore head. Most of the squirrels hadn't gone to bed at all and were now asleep with their eyes open. 'Now get a bottle of Crazyhorns Power Juice down you, all of you!' snapped Frank, pushing a crate of green bottles towards them. 'Where's Nancy?' 'She went outside,' said Martin. 'Said she needed some air.' 'Did she, now?' said Frank. He looked up and saw Dr Khan sitting in an armchair reading an extremely serious-looking book. 'Excuse me, Doc,' he said. 'Sorry to disturb you.' 'Frank,' said Dr Khan, lowering the book so his beak poked over the top. 'How can I help?' Frank nodded his head in the direction of the door.

'Our fox pal. She's still not right. I think it's those bad dreams. She's my star treebonk player and I need her at full pelt tonight. Is there anything you can do?' Dr Khan put his book down. 'Hmm,' he said. 'Well, I have been reading more about this kind of thing. Did you know that all sorts of things can bring back buried memories? Certain places, smells, songs…' 'She's been trying to whistle some tune for days,' said Frank. Dr Khan hopped up off the armchair and waddled over to his briefcase. 'I think I have something that could help,' he cooed. 'Leave it with me.' Nancy was sitting by the Crystal Lake, sunshine bouncing off the clear, sparkling water. Every now and then, a squirrel in a sparkly leotard flew overhead. The Twinklenuts Treebonk team were having a practice session before the match. Nancy stretched her arms and legs. She knew there were bigger problems– like a massive monster terrifying Grimwood– but she couldn't wait for the treebonk match. Some good old competitive boinging around the treetops was just what she needed. She had had another strange dream last night. She heard that same tune being whistled– the one that was a bit happy and a bit sad. She tried to whistle it, but given she didn't know how to whistle, she just spat everywhere. 'Hello, fox. I seem to remember you like coffee,' said Dr Khan, gently placing a cup of it by Nancy's paws. 'Oh, cheers, Doc,' she said, and gulped it down eagerly.