17 Grimfest

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Grimfest More pastries, anyone?' asked Titus, setting down a second tray of perfect chocolate eclairs on a large table outside his caravan. He had been baking all week. There were so many more mouths to feed, now that the electric fence between Grimwood and Twinklenuts had been demolished in the glitter explosion. Wiggy was scampering around filling mugs of tea and handing out cups of lemonade. His brothers Monty, Jeremy, Jeremy and Jeremy were helping him. 'You Twinklenuts folk have been through a lot,' said Titus to Crusty McTavish, kindly. 'I hope you know you're all very welcome to stay in Grimwood until you're back on your feet.' 'We ain't posh but we don't have no stupid rules, neither!' said Willow, picking her nose and eating it. Crusty McTavish wiped a tear from his squirrelly snout. 'Thank you, Mayor Crazyhorns,' he said. 'You've been good to us. Grimwood is a fine, fine place. You should be proud.'

Titus beamed. 'And now that pesky fox is out of the way,' he said, 'maybe Grimwood and Twinklenuts could become proper neighbours?' Crusty McTavish held out his paw. 'Absolutely,' he said. The glitter cannon had made quite a mess, all things considered. But nobody minded too much because it had totally saved the day. Pamela had enjoyed seeing Sebastian Silver's helicopter fly into space, and it had been the main topic on her radio show ever since. Titus had made Sharon the Party Crow a cake of her choosing as a reward, so she had asked for a giant Victoria sponge that she could burst out of at a moment's notice. Meanwhile, Ingrid, Sir Charles Fotheringay and a quack team of ducks were still scooping glitter out of the Crystal Lake. 'Soon the waters will be clear and beautiful,' said Sir Charles. 'Though they will never be as beautiful as… YOUR EYES.' 'Put a sock in it, Charles,' said Ingrid, scooping up a wingful of glitter. 'You are behaving like a lovesick fool.'

'I've been thinking,' said Sir Charles. 'About your theatre. I should like to rebuild it. Though I know I have the face of a delicate thespian, I have the wings of a hard-working duck. Please, darling? If I am to live in Grimwood with you I shall need A STAGE.' Ingrid gave a brisk nod. 'Very well,' she said. 'If it makes you happy.' Though he didn't know it, Charles had just made Ingrid the giddiest duck in town. 'I owe you a big, fat humungous apology, Wiggster,' said Monty the badger. 'And so do Jeremy, Jeremy and Jeremy. We've been rubbish brothers, haven't we?' 'Yes!' said the Jeremys. 'Oh, it's fine,' said Wiggy. 'No, it's not,' said Monty. 'You've been too nice to us and we've totally taken you for granted. Here. I'd like to give you these.' He handed over a pair of tatty red corduroy trousers. 'My lucky trews,' sighed Monty. 'It's the least you deserve.' Wiggy gingerly held the crusty trousers and gave his brothers a hug. Frank was perched high on the bough of an oak tree. Dr Khan perched next to him.

'The library is next to those cedars,' he said, nodding at a cluster of trees. 'A library!' hooted Frank. 'I've always wanted to visit one of them.' 'It was my favourite place to read the news-paper,' Dr Khan said. 'And occasionally listen to some jazz– with headphones on, of course.' Frank nodded in approval. 'Maybe… maybe we could do that together sometime? In total silence, of course.' Dr Khan nodded. 'I should like that,' he said. 'It's been very difficult for me these past few years, being surrounded by total nincompoops.' 'I hear you,' said Frank. After Titus had fed everyone tea and cakes, they all trooped up the hill to gather around the Magic Tower. Pamela and Sharon were broadcasting LIVE on Radio Grimwood.

'AWOOOGA AWOOOGA! You're tuned into Pam and Shazza serving you up a delicious slice of hip-hop, grime and dancehall classics! OH YEAH!' And they started breakdancing. Meanwhile, the dreadfully lovely Anoushka Wispy stood up on a battered old crate. 'Hey, everyone,' she said, softly strumming her guitar. 'So, like, we just wanted to say a big thank you to the Grimwood guys for being, like, so amazing.' All the Twinklenuts animals cheered and clapped. 'And also to say… ohmigosh, like have you guys ever tried using soap? It's this fantastic invention that stops your fur smelling like a bin; it's really great. Anyway, here's a song I like to call "My Toenails Are So Pretty".'

Ted ran over to Nancy and gave her a big hug. 'Urgh,' she said. 'What's that for?' Ted shrugged. 'Felt like it,' he said. Nancy ruffled his fur. 'How you doing?' she asked. Ted sighed. 'I'm OK. I feel like a bit of a wally, sis. You know. About Mr Silver.' Nancy nodded.