13 Everyone gets a nervous feeling in their tum tum

CHAPTER THIRTEEN Everyone gets a nervous feeling in their tum tum Nancy groaned and reached for her head. She could feel a big bump. 'She's awake!' she heard someone whisper excitedly. There was a clatter and the noise of footsteps shuffling towards her. She forced her eyes open and found that she was somewhere dark and quiet. There were some candles flickering near her. 'Hallo! How are you feeling? You've had quite the bump, I'm afraid,' said a gentle voice. Nancy slowly turned her head and saw a rabbit. It was grinning a toothy grin and seemed to be missing an ear. 'I'm Mo,' said the rabbit. 'He got to you too, huh?' Nancy was confused. A pigeon fluttered onto Nancy's chest and started to examine her with a magnifying glass. 'Gerroff,' said Nancy weakly. The pigeon bobbed its head from side to side. 'Please, look at my beak. Now follow my beak this way… and now this

way… and then this way again…' 'Urrrgh,' said Nancy. 'Dr Khan, maybe it is best if we let her wake up a little bit more,' said Mo, putting a cup of water gently against Nancy's lips. 'C…c… coffee?' rasped Nancy. Some minutes later she was sitting up, sipping on a mug of hot coffee. A crowd had gathered around her. 'Where am I?' asked Nancy. 'You're in Twinklenuts,' said Mo. 'With us! Hello.' Nancy tried to stand, even though her legs were wobbly. 'I've gotta go,' she said. 'The treebonk match starts soon. I need to get back to Grimwood.' 'Ha!' came a familiar voice. 'No chance of escape, I'm afraid. We've tried.' Nancy turned and saw a very sad-looking badger. She gasped. It was Wiggy's big brother, Monty. His clothes were

all tatty and dirty. Behind him stood Jeremy, Jeremy and Jeremy, all looking very sorry for themselves. 'Woah! What are you lot doing here? Why can't we get out? I need to get out!' She started to bang on the walls. 'We're locked in,' said Monty. 'That Sebastian Silver chap is a total wrong'un.' Nancy looked up and realized how full the room was. It was crowded with rabbits, mice, rats, stoats and squirrels. Brown water was slowly dripping out of a tap on one wall, and a large cauldron of soup bubbled away over a fire pit. 'I'm in jail!' cried Nancy. She started growling and looking for an escape route. 'Save your energy, lassie,' said a husky voice. 'Believe me, we've all tried.' Nancy saw a very old squirrel sitting in a roller skate. He wheeled over to her and held out a paw. 'Crusty McTavish,' he said. 'Pleased to meet you. I was Mayor of Twinklenuts before that horrible crook took over.' 'Woah,' said Nancy. 'Why are you all in here?'

'Silver says we don't meet his so-called guidelines,' said Crusty, shaking his head sadly. 'The Twinklenuts Charter,' said Nancy softly. 'Well, most of us in Twinklenuts couldn't keep up with all his ridiculous rules,' said Crusty. 'So, he shoved us in here! Said that only the "best" (in his opinion) were allowed out and about in the new and improved Twinklenuts.' Nancy couldn't believe her ears. 'But you can't just stay locked in here for ever!' she cried. 'Oh, it's not so bad,' said Monty. 'Especially once you get used to the dark.' PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP. 'Oh, and Jeremy's awful farting. Try to hold it in, Jeremy!' 'Sorry,' said Jeremy. 'He's told you his grand plan, then?' said Crusty. 'What, building his stupid "Silvertown" resort?' said Nancy. 'Yeah, he told us. Wants to nick the Magic Tower and cover Grimwood with roads and shopping malls and hotels and nonsense.' 'He says when the time comes, he might let us work for him,' sighed Mo. 'Lucky us!' 'Thing is,' scowled Crusty, 'Sebastian Silver always gets what he wants. Even if it means cheating and lying! How do you think he became mayor?' A rat wearing a broken pair of glasses waved a load of paper at Nancy. 'I'm writing it all down!' he hooted. 'And as soon as we get out of here, I'm going to publish a book called Fox News: How

Sebastian Silver Lied His Way to the Top and Then Locked Loads of Us Up for No Good Reason.' 'Catchy,' said Nancy. Just then, there was a quiet click. Nancy looked up. There was a small hatch in the ceiling. It had whirred open and a load of chocolate bars were dropped onto the floor. It reminded Nancy a bit of the vending machines back in the Big City. There was a scramble for the chocolate bars followed by lots of noisy chomping. 'Who's feeding you?' she asked, nodding up at the hatch. 'Dunno,' said Mo. 'We never see 'em.' The hatch slammed shut. Suddenly, Nancy's fur stood on end. A gust of fresh air had swooped down on them as the hatch closed. Nancy's nose was extremely good at picking up scents and it had picked up one in particular. She could smell… books. Ooh, it's all a bit grim isn't it, campers? Funnily enough, I once spent several months in a Swedish women's prison. Got accidentally carried

in with some laundry. Quite enjoyed it actually; I made some great pals. Almost everyone from Grimwood and Twinklenuts had crowded around the treebonk pitch. 'It's the sporting event of the year!' announced Pamela, her voice blaring out from speakers that had been tied to several of the trees. 'OH YEAAAAAH, OOOGA WOOOGA BOOOOGA!' shouted Sharon the Party Crow, dancing and waving some pom-poms in the air. Being an overexcited cheerleader was, in many ways, her dream job. 'Give us a G! Give us an R! Give us an I! Give us an M! Give us a W,