5 The weird giant horse thing

CHAPTER FIVE The weird giant horse thing Pamela (who was the massive eagle) flew back to her nest and dabbed at her beak with a handkerchief. 'Oh, Binky,' she said. 'You were just as tasty as I hoped you'd be.' She ruffled her feathers, did a delicate burp and settled down at her typewriter to write another fake letter to deliver to tomorrow's victim. A large owl silently swooped down next to her. 'That was very mean,' said Frank, who had a noble owly face and eyebrows like giant caterpillars. 'Binky was a lovely chap.' 'A bird has to eat.' Pamela shrugged. 'Anyway, I only took his head. He's still got his arms and legs, it's not all bad.' Frank was about to reply when he noticed something strange. Extremely strange. So strange that he actually said, 'How strange!' out loud. Something mysterious was moving around in the leaves below. He flew next to Pamela and silenced her typewriter with a firm claw.

'Look, Pamela.' He nodded. 'Down there. Something's moving.' A patch of grass beneath the oak tree was shifting, as if something huge was digging up to the surface from deep underground. 'It's the GIANT MOLE OF BRATISLAVA*!' said Pamela, who was given to panic. 'Or the worms! The worms have finally turned! I knew it would happen one day! They've come together from miles around to form a WORM ARMY!!!' *Please note, as far as we know there is no such thing as the Giant Mole of Bratislava. 'Calm down, Pamela,' said Frank, his eyes narrowing. He was getting ready to swoop. Suddenly there was a volcano of soil and leaves. 'THE WOORRRRRRMS!' screamed Pamela, unhelpfully. Frank watched as two figures crawled out of the ground. He squinted but he couldn't identify the mysterious creatures.

'I'm going to fetch Titus,' he said, and swooped up into the sky. The foxes looked around as they got their breath back. They had been digging for ages and their paws were tired and sore. 'Is this it?' said Ted, wiping mud from his eyes. Nancy removed a worm from her nose and looked around some more. 'Hmm,' she said. She looked at Sven's map and turned it around a few times. 'Well?' said Ted. 'What do you think, sis? Did the map work? Are we in the right place?' 'Hmm,' she said again. She gave the map a sniff. It was annoying her. She ate the map. 'Nancy!' cried Ted. 'It was looking at me funny,' said Nancy.

The foxes gazed at their new surroundings for a while. Ted took some deep breaths. The air was so different. He couldn't smell cars, or humans, or fried chicken shops. And the trees! They towered high above his curious little foxy head. 'The branches look like a giant spider's web dancing across the sky,' he whispered, clutching his paws together. He felt like writing a poem about it, but before he could ask Nancy for a pen she'd bonged him on the head with her phone. 'I can't get any stupid signal!' she barked. 'Nightmare! Have you got any?' 'I don't have a phone, Nance,' said Ted, rubbing his head. 'You said I'm not allowed one until I'm older.' 'Oh yeah,' she said. 'Hey, bend down for a second.' She climbed onto Ted's back and held her phone as high as she could, waving it around trying to find a signal. All of a sudden there was a

WHOOSH! as something swooped down from the sky and grabbed Nancy's phone. Ted dived behind a log. 'Oi!' shouted Nancy. 'Come back, you thievin' rotter!' But Pamela the eagle (for she was the thievin' rotter) zoomed merrily into the sky. She did an evil cackle and a loop-de-loop before disappearing into the trees. Ted slowly peeked out from behind the log. 'Wh… what was that?' he whimpered. 'A massive bird!' growled Nancy. 'And it's taken my phone! It's gonna regret it, the stupid beakface.' 'I think we should start looking for Binky,' said Ted. 'Who?' 'Binky Snuffhausen! The rat Sven told us about. He'll be able to tell us what to do.' Nancy scowled.

'We don't need anyone to tell us what to do,' she snapped. 'We're in some rubbish forest in the middle of nowhere. We just need to lie low for a while.' 'But what will we eat?' said Ted. 'I can't smell any chicken shops, or bins, or burger vans.' Nancy had to admit her brother had a point. All she'd ever known was the Big City. On the crowded and noisy streets, she knew how to handle herself. But now Nancy had an unfamiliar feeling in her tummy. It was a quiet, churning sensation, as if there were a washing machine in her belly. 'Fancy a ginger nut, Nance?' asked Ted gently. 'I've just found some at the bottom of my rucksack.' 'Cheers, Ted,' said Nancy. 'What shall I do with this?' asked Ted, unfurling Princess Buttons' tail. Nancy snorted. 'Make a hat out of it for all I care,' she said, stretching and yawning.