3 The hot-dog bun of doom

CHAPTER THREE The hot-dog bun of doom Miserable old Princess Buttons couldn't stand any of the foxes, but the fox she hated the most was Nancy– because Nancy was brave, and clever, and not at all scared of her. Princess Buttons tried scheme after wicked scheme to get rid of the foxes. But even if she spooked Ted from time to time, she couldn't outsmart Nancy. And it was sending her bananas.

'She's something else, that cat,' said Nancy. She and Ted had just arrived back at the den after a run-in with Princess Buttons at the bins, where she had pelted them with rotten bananas. 'Shoulda stayed in her posho house instead of coming down here and trying to cause trouble.' 'She won't hurt us, will she, Nance?' asked Ted, peeling a bit of banana skin off his fur. 'Not while I'm around,' said Nancy. 'Just don't go down to the bins by yourself, OK?' Lot of bananas around here, guys.

Ted was a good little banana fox and he tried very hard to do what Nancy told him. But the ache in his chest hadn't gone away. He felt it most strongly when Nancy was out chasing cars with Bin and Hedge while he sat all alone, staring at the stars. And that's how Ted found himself one fateful night. He was bored, lonely… and so hungry. He really fancied a hot dog. He closed his eyes, but even then all he could see was dancing hot dogs singing, 'Eat me!' He moaned and patted his stomach. Even a good little fox like Ted couldn't ignore a grumbling tummy. Ted crept out of the den and made his way to Speedy Chicken, keeping his eyes open for Princess Buttons and her gang of horrible cats. His heart was beating wildly as he scrambled over the wall. He checked that the coast was clear, then scampered over to the edge of the fox bin, where he sat and watched a group of rodents exercising. The one-footed pigeon was pecking away at a tray of salad, while his friend was trying to complete a newspaper crossword. It seemed to Ted that everyone he saw had a friend, except him. Princess Buttons, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen. Ted turned his attention to the bin. One bag had already been torn open, and there, lying on top of a pile of banana skins (ewwww, thought Ted), was a great big, fat, juicy hot dog. Mmmmmm, thought Ted. It looked almost as good as the hot dogs of his dreams. A delicious smoky sausage, dripping with ketchup and mustard, nestled inside a white, soft, fluffy bun.

He picked it up, shut his eyes and chomped. 'YEEEEEOOOOOOWWW!' 'MMMfffgnnaaargh!' yelled Ted. He looked down, and in his paws saw a thick, stubby cat tail stuffed inside the hot-dog roll. Crivens! No wonder that bun was so fluffy! Ted panicked. He clutched the hot dog (and the tail) to his chest and leapt from the bin.

Princess Buttons had slunk out from under a pile of rubbish and was yowling in agony. The other cats began to circle her. 'Now you're in trouble, you little squirt!' one of them hissed at Ted, baring its teeth. Ted's heart was thumping and he felt like he might cry. 'Oh yeah? Says who?' growled a voice from the shadows. 'Nancy!' yelped Ted. Nancy, Bin and Hedge formed a circle around Ted. 'It was an accident!' Ted whimpered. 'I didn't know she was there!' Princess Buttons had staggered to her feet. 'That's it,' she growled, and pointed at Ted. 'You're dead, little foxy.'

Everything happened very quickly after that. Nancy glanced at Bin and Hedge, who both gave her a nod. Then she grabbed Ted by the scruff of the neck, and leapt over the Speedy Chicken wall. 'RUN,' said Nancy, putting him down. They ran and ran and ran until they were back at the den. 'I think we're going to have to find somewhere else to live for a while,' said Nancy, panting heavily. 'No!' cried Ted. Nancy kicked a can in frustration. It bounced off a bin and hit an unsuspecting snail in the face.