Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 'So how exactly did you behave strangely?' asked Flora, looking sideways at Charlie. Charlie was walking home with Flora, Mohsen and Wogan, and he'd told them everything that had happened the previous evening. Nearly everything. 'Yeah, come on, Charlie,' said Mohsen. 'You can tell us anything.' 'That's right,' said Wogan. 'We are all really good secret-keepers here. I mean, everybody knows I never tell anybody anything. Like, remember the time you told me you were in love with Flor–'

第三章那么，你究竟是怎样表现得奇怪的呢？弗洛拉斜眼看着查理问道。 查理和弗洛拉、莫森和沃根一起走回家，他把前一天晚上发生的一切都告诉了他们。 几乎一切。“是啊，来吧，查理。”莫森说。 “你什么都可以告诉我们。“没错，”沃根说。 “我们这儿的人都是守口如瓶的好手。 我是说，大家都知道我从不告诉任何人任何事。 比如，记得那次你跟我说你爱上了弗洛尔——”

'Wogan!' Charlie shouted. Mohsen's jaw was on the floor. Flora was blushing furiously. 'Can we please just concentrate on what's important here?' Charlie continued, clearly panicking. Flora stopped walking, and they all stopped with her. She looked hard at Charlie. 'Charlie, whatever happened, it would be much better for you to share it. We won't judge you.' 'OK,' said Charlie, taking a deep breath. 'I ate a leaf and licked my bum clean.' For the second time in a matter of minutes, Mohsen's jaw hit the floor. 'You whatted your what-what?' Wogan asked Charlie, then turned to the others. 'What did he say he did? I thought I heard him say he licked his own bum clean! I mean, imagine! How disgusting would that be?'

“Wogan !”查理喊道。莫森的下巴贴在地板上。 弗洛拉的脸涨得通红。 “我们能不能把注意力放在重要的事情上？”查理继续说，显然很惊慌。 弗洛拉停了下来，他们也跟着停了下来。 她盯着查理。 “查理，不管发生了什么，你最好能和别人分享。 我们不会评判你。“好吧，”查理说，深吸了一口气。 “我吃了一片叶子，把屁股舔干净了。”莫森的下巴在几分钟内第二次撞到了地板上。 “你说了什么？”沃根问查理，然后转向其他人。 “他说他做了什么？”我想我听到他说他舔干净了自己的屁股！我是说，想象一下！那该有多恶心啊？”

'You heard right,' said Charlie, looking thoroughly miserable. 'That's what I mean. I was disgusting. And I've no idea why I did it.' 'Charlie, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of,' said Flora, eyes full of concern. 'We are all–' 'Did it taste horrible?' Wogan butted in. 'When you licked your bum? It must have done.' Flora glared at Wogan. 'Wogan! Now is not the time.' 'That's right,' said Mohsen. 'We need to focus. We can't do anything about what Charlie did. We should probably try to forget about it, although I'm not sure I'll ever be able to. Anyway, what we can do is start thinking about what to do about Charlie's dad and what Dylan's dad nicked off him.' They all nodded in agreement. 'You're sure you've no idea what it was?' Mohsen continued. 'No. No idea at all,' Charlie replied, downcast. 'Well, that's the first thing we need to do: find out what exactly it is they've stolen.' 'What use will that be?' asked Charlie. 'Ah, well, I have a plan,' said Mohsen, waggling his eyebrows up and down. Flora, Charlie and Wogan stopped in their tracks and stared at Mohsen. 'And it's a plan so clever you could stick a fuzzy wig on it and call it Albert Einstein.' 'Whoa. Hang on. Stop right there,' Wogan said, holding his hand up. 'We all know that Flora is the plan-maker in this group. I'm not sure I'm

“你没听错，”查理说，看上去十分痛苦。 “我就是这个意思。我很恶心。 我也不知道我为什么要这么做。“查理，你完全没有什么好羞愧的，”弗洛拉说，眼里充满了关切。 “我们都——”“味道不好吗？”沃根插嘴了。 “当你舔屁股的时候？” 一定是这样。”弗洛拉怒视着沃根。 “Wogan !现在不是时候。“对，”莫森说。 我们需要集中精力。我们对查理的所作所为无能为力。 我们也许应该试着忘记它，尽管我不确定我是否能做到。 不管怎样，我们能做的就是开始考虑如何处理查理的爸爸和迪伦的爸爸从他身上偷来的东西。”他们都点头表示同意。 “你确定你不知道那是什么？”Mohsen继续说。 “不。“完全不知道。”查理沮丧地回答。 “嗯，这是我们要做的第一件事：弄清楚他们到底偷了什么东西。“那有什么用呢？”查理问。 “啊，好吧，我有个计划，”莫森说，眉毛上下摆动着。 弗洛拉、查理和沃根停下脚步，盯着莫森。 这是一个非常聪明的计划，你可以给它戴上一顶毛茸茸的假发，称它为阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦。“哇。 坚持下去。“站住。”沃根举起手说。 “我们都知道弗洛拉是这个小组的计划制定者。 我不确定我

comfortable swapping roles like that. I mean, what next? Maybe I should swap with Charlie and then I could go around confessing my undying love for Flor–' 'Wogan!' shouted Charlie. 'Sheesh. I mean, come on.' 'We should hear Mohsen out,' said Flora. 'I want to hear the plan.' 'OK,' said Mohsen, looking around furtively to make sure nobody else was listening. 'Listen up. Here's what we do. We find out what Dylan's dad's company stole. Then we break in to their office and steal it back.' 'OK. Interesting,' said Flora. 'How do we do that?' 'How? Well, I dunno,' said Mohsen, shrugging. 'I hadn't got that far.' 'Yeah,' said Wogan. 'That's not really a plan then. That's more of an idea than a plan.' 'It is a plan!' said Mohsen, looking a little hurt.

这样互换角色很舒服。 我是说，接下来呢？也许我应该和查理交换，这样我就可以到处表白我对弗洛尔永恒的爱——”“沃根！”查理喊道。 “天哪。我是说，拜托。“我们应该听莫森说完，”弗洛拉说。 “我想听听计划。“好吧，”莫森说，他偷偷地环顾四周，确保没有其他人在听。 “听好了。我们是这样做的。 我们找出迪伦爸爸的公司偷了什么。 然后我们闯进他们的办公室，把它偷回来。“好吧。 “有意思。”弗洛拉说。“我们该怎么做呢？”“如何? “嗯，我不知道，”莫森耸耸肩说。 “我还没走到那一步。“是啊，”沃根说。 “那么这就不是一个真正的计划了。 这更像是一个想法而不是一个计划。“这是一个计划！”莫森说，看上去有点受伤。

'Whatever it is, why does everything always end up with me breaking in to somewhere?'fn1 said Charlie. 'And Van der Gruyne Industries has serious security. It has massive high gates and guards. It has guard dogs. It has drones with laser-guided nuclear missiles.' 'Hang on,' said Flora. 'Drones with laser-guided nuclear missiles? How exactly do you know they have those?' 'Erm… I think it was actually Dylan who told me…' 'Yes, well, then I think we can probably forget the laser-guided nuclear drones, Charlie.' 'OK, thinking about it, we probably can. But high gates! Security guards! Dogs! They are all very real.' 'Hmm,' hmmed Flora. 'It won't be easy. It is a good plan, Mohsen–' 'A good idea,' said Wogan. 'It just needs a bit of development. I'll put my mind to it. But first, Charlie– you need to find out exactly

“不管是什么，为什么每件事最后都是我闯入什么地方？”查理说。 范德格鲁恩工业有严格的安保措施。 它有高大的大门和卫兵。 它有看门狗。它拥有携带激光制导核导弹的无人机。“等一下，”弗洛拉说。 “搭载激光制导核导弹的无人机？” 你怎么知道他们有这个？“嗯……我想实际上是迪伦告诉我的……”“是的，好吧，那么我想我们可能可以忘记激光制导的核无人机了，查理。”“好吧，考虑一下，我们也许可以。” 但是高的门！保安!狗!它们都非常真实。“嗯，”弗洛拉哼着。 “这并不容易。这是个好计划，莫森——”“好主意，”沃根说。 “它只是需要一点点发展。 我会用心去做的。但首先，查理，你得弄清楚

what's been stolen…' ***The opportunity to find out what exactly had been stolen came Charlie's way a few days later, and Charlie being Charlie he grabbed the opportunity with both hands and ran with it.fn2 The McGuffins had all gone into town to celebrate SmoothMove's birthday and, abandoning the new money-saving regime for the afternoon, were splashing out on a pizza-and-ice-cream family lunch. Despite the cold weather, they were sitting outside in the town square by the cathedral, happily lapping at their ice creams, watching Christmas shoppers rush by, laden with shopping bags. The Christmas lights were on, and in the middle of the square, beside the huge Christmas tree, there was a real-life nativity scene with an actual real-live

***几天后，查清到底被偷了什么东西的机会来到了查理的面前，查理就是查理，他紧紧抓住了这个机会。麦高芬一家都进城去庆祝SmoothMove的生日了，下午他们放弃了新的省钱计划，在披萨和冰淇淋上大肆挥霍。 尽管天气很冷，他们还是坐在教堂旁的镇广场上，开心地吃着冰激凌，看着圣诞购物客提着购物袋匆匆而过。 圣诞彩灯亮着，在广场中央，巨大的圣诞树旁边，有一个真实的耶稣诞生场景