Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9 Handing the phone back to Dylan was easily the highlight of Charlie's week. Dylan's face when he saw the video had been deleted was an image Charlie would not forget in a long time: it was somewhere between bright red and purple, a beautiful mixture of disbelief and fury. Once that fun was over, though, Charlie and his friends' minds all turned back to the problem in hand: how to stop Charlie turning into an animal before the school play arrived. It wasn't until the next day that Flora devised the experiment that would test her latest theory– that stress was causing him to change. Changing into a flea during the rehearsal was more evidence, but Flora had to be certain. She needed final, absolute proof. And Flora revealed to Charlie exactly how they were going to get it while they were

第九章把电话还给迪伦无疑是查理一周中最重要的事情。 看到视频被删除时，迪伦的脸是查理很长时间都不会忘记的画面：它介于鲜红和紫色之间，是一种难以置信和愤怒的美丽混合。 然而，一旦玩乐结束，查理和他的朋友们都回到了手头的问题上：如何在学校戏剧到来之前阻止查理变成一只动物。 直到第二天，弗洛拉才设计了一个实验来验证她的最新理论——压力导致了他的改变。 在排练时变成一只跳蚤是更多的证据，但弗洛拉必须确定。 她需要最后的、绝对的证据。 弗洛拉向查理透露了他们是如何得到它的

all playing tennis. They had just had a long rally and stopped for a breather. 'I think I've worked it out. It came to me this morning. But you're not going to like it.' 'What a surprise,' said Charlie. 'No. You really won't,' said Mohsen. 'I'm sure I won't,' said Charlie. 'No. You REALLY, REALLY won't. You're going to hate it,' said Wogan. 'Oh, just tell me! It can't be that bad.' 'Right,' said Flora. 'Right. OK. Here goes. Here's what I want you to do. I'm about to tell you what you should do. OK. You ready?' 'Yes! Just tell me! It can't be that bad!' It was that bad. Worse, in fact. 'OK then,' Flora said. 'What you need to do is…' She took a deep breath. 'Break into Ms Fyre's office and shave her monkey.' Now, out of context that is a pretty weird sentence. So, let's answer some of your questions straight away and then we'll get right back to the story. 1. Josh, nine, from Whitstable asks: 'Does Ms Fyre really have an actual live monkey in her office?' It would be awesome if Ms Fyre

都在打网球。他们刚刚进行了一次长时间的集会，停下来喘口气。 “我想我已经算出来了。 今天早上我想到的。 但你不会喜欢的。“真让人吃惊，”查理说。 “不。“你真的不会的，”莫森说。 “我肯定不会的，”查理说。 “不。你真的，真的不会。 “你会讨厌它的。”沃根说。 “啊，告诉我吧！”不可能那么糟。“好的，”弗洛拉说。 的权利。好的。在这里。这是我想让你做的。 我要告诉你该怎么做。 好的。你准备好了吗?“是的!告诉我！不可能那么糟！”就是那么糟糕。 事实上，更糟。“那好吧，”弗洛拉说。 “你需要做的是……”她深吸了一口气。 “闯进弗尔女士的办公室，给她剃毛。”现在，断章取义，这是一个非常奇怪的句子。 所以，让我们直接回答你的一些问题，然后我们再回到故事。 1. 来自惠特斯泰布尔的9岁男孩乔希问道：“弗尔女士的办公室里真的有一只活猴子吗？”如果弗尔女士

really did have an actual monkey in her office, but that would be ridiculous. This is a very serious book about a boy who can change into animals and shoot ropes out of his butt and has numerous pigeons with terrible French accents fall in love with him. So, no, of course it isn't a real monkey in her office. Silly question, Josh from Whitstable. I know you're only nine, but your parents must be very disappointed in you. Frankly we're all a little disappointed in you. 2. 'So, in that case, what is the monkey then?' asks Jennifer, eight, from Ballina, County Mayo in Ireland. Excellent question, Jennifer. You're clearly a smart cookie. Well, let me tell you what the monkey is. It's a huge stuffed cuddly toy monkey. It's as big as you, Jennifer. It's that big. 3. 'Where did this monkey come from?' asks Josh, nine, from Whitstable. OK, Josh.

她的办公室里确实有一只猴子，但那就太荒谬了。 这是一本非常严肃的书，讲述了一个男孩可以变成动物，从他的屁股里射出绳子，有许多带着可怕的法国口音的鸽子爱上了他。 所以，不，当然不是真的猴子在她的办公室。 愚蠢的问题，来自惠特斯塔布尔的乔希。 我知道你只有九岁，但你父母一定对你很失望。 坦白说，我们都对你有点失望。 2. “那么，在这种情况下，猴子是什么？”来自爱尔兰梅奥郡巴利纳的8岁女孩詹妮弗问道。 问得好，詹妮弗。 你显然是个聪明人。 好吧，让我告诉你猴子是什么。 它是一个巨大的毛绒玩具猴子。 它和你一样大，詹妮弗。 就那么大。3. “这只猴子是从哪儿来的？”来自惠特斯泰布尔的9岁男孩乔希问道。 好吧,杰克。

That's a much better question. You've taken the criticism on board. You've pulled your socks up. I'm impressed with your attitude, Josh. Great work. 4. 'You didn't answer my question,' says Josh, nine, from Whitstable. Good point, Josh. The answer to the question is nobody really knows. Some say Mr Wind was seen walking away from the 'hook-a-duck' stall at the local fair, carrying the monkey under his arm, in the very same week it appeared in Ms Fyre's office, but that's just a rumour. 5. 'How on earth is Charlie supposed to break into Ms Fyre's office and shave the monkey? And what will he use to actually shave the monkey?' ask Mr (forty-eight) and Mrs (forty-six) Lloyd from Wimbledon. Well, Mr and Mrs Lloyd from Wimbledon, you will just have to wait and find out. That's the plot. All will be revealed shortly. Just be patient.

这是一个更好的问题。 你接受了批评。 你把袜子拉高了。 你的态度让我印象深刻，乔什。 伟大的工作。4. “你没有回答我的问题，”来自惠特斯塔布尔的9岁男孩乔希说。 说得好，乔什。这个问题的答案是没有人真正知道。 有人说，就在这只猴子出现在弗尔女士办公室的同一周，有人看到风先生腋下夹着这只猴子从当地集市上的“钩鸭”摊位走出来，但这只是谣言。 5. “查理怎么可能闯进弗雷女士的办公室，给猴子剃毛呢？” 他会用什么来给猴子剃毛呢？来自温布尔登的劳埃德先生（48岁）和夫人（46岁）问。 好了，温布尔登的劳埃德先生和夫人，你们就等着瞧吧。 这就是情节。一切很快就会揭晓。 耐心点。

6. 'Isn't breaking into an office and shaving somebody's toy monkey illegal?' asks Josh, nine, from Whitstable. Look, Josh. You've already asked two questions, OK? And you've just undone all the good work you did with your second question. Don't take this story too seriously. This is a ridiculous book about a boy who can change into animals and shoot ropes out of his butt and has numerous pigeons with terrible French accents fall in love with him. So let's just forget any legal implications, yes? Agreed, Josh? Good. OK. Let's get back to the story. No more interruptions, please. 'Let me get this right. You want me to break into Ms Fyre's office and shave her monkey?' asked Charlie incredulously. Flora nodded. 'That's right.' 'I think we need to get a doctor to see you. You've finally lost it. Properly this time.' 'I have not. It's the only way to know for certain.'

6. “闯进办公室给别人的玩具猴子剃毛不违法吗？”来自惠特斯泰布尔的9岁男孩乔希问道。 看,杰克。你已经问了两个问题了？ 你在第二个问题上所做的一切努力都白费了。 不要把这个故事看得太严重。 这是一本荒谬的书，讲述了一个男孩可以变成动物，从他的屁股里射出绳子，有许多带着可怕的法国口音的鸽子爱上了他。 所以我们先别管什么法律影响，好吗？ 同意了,杰克?好。好的。让我们回到故事。 请不要再打断我了。 “让我把这件事搞清楚。你想让我闯进弗尔女士的办公室给她剃毛吗？查理怀疑地问。 植物点点头。这是正确的。“我想我们需要请医生来给你看病。” 你终于失去理智了。这次是正确的。”“我没有。 这是唯一能确定的方法。”

'It's the only way to get me in detention until I'm eighteen AND hung upside down by my toes by my parents until I leave home.' 'Charlie, listen. We need to know for absolute certain what causes you to change before we can work out how to stop it. And we've only got six days until the school play.' 'Well, you can't argue with that,' said Wogan. 'I can. And I am.' Charlie crossed his arms. 'Well, OK, you can. But she's right.' The four of them stood in silence for a moment. Wogan started boinging a ball in the air with his racquet. 'Come on, Charlie. It'll be something you'll never forget as long as you live,' Flora said. Charlie stared at Flora for the longest time, then exploded. 'GAAAAAAH OK I'LL DO IT I'LL DO IT GAAAAAHHH!' Flora beamed.

“只有这样，我才能被关禁闭到十八岁，被父母用脚趾头倒挂起来，直到我离开家。“查理，听着。” 我们需要绝对确切地知道是什么导致了你的变化，然后我们才能想出如何阻止它。 离学校演出只有六天了。“嗯，这是无可争辩的，”沃根说。 “我可以。我就是这样。”查理交叉双臂。 “嗯，好吧，你可以。但她是对的。”他们四个人默默地站了一会儿。 沃根开始用他的球拍在空中击球。 “来吧，查理。“这将是你一生都不会忘记的事情，”弗洛拉说。 查理盯着弗洛拉看了很久，然后爆发了。 “gaaaaaaaah好吧，我来做，我来做gaaaaaahhh !”植物传送。