Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4 All had been quiet for a week or so. Charlie hadn't changed into any animals. School was still school. His parents were still parenting. SmoothMove was still in hospital waiting for his scan. Wogan and Mohsen were still slightly scared of Flora. But on a slow Wednesday afternoon, during a times table test, it happened again. 'Hey, Charlie!' This was Dylan. Dylan van der Gruyne was the class bully, and he hated Charlie more than anybody else in the school. 'Hey, Charlie!' Dylan whispered again loudly 'What?' Charlie whispered back, knowing what was coming because he was talking to Dylan and Dylan never said anything nice to anybody. 'You smell like a frog's bum!'

四周安静了一个星期左右。 查理没有变成任何动物。 学校还是学校。他的父母还在抚养孩子。 SmoothMove还在医院等待他的扫描。 沃根和莫森仍然有点害怕弗洛拉。 但在一个缓慢的周三下午，在一次乘法表测试中，这种情况又发生了。 “嘿,查理!”这是迪伦。 迪伦·范德格鲁恩是班里的恶霸，他比学校里的任何人都讨厌查理。 “嘿,查理!”迪伦又大声耳语道：“什么？”查理低声回答，他知道接下来会发生什么，因为他正在和迪伦说话，而迪伦从来没有对任何人说过什么好话。 “你闻起来像青蛙屁股！”

Dylan sniggered to himself. 'No, I don't. Anyway, what does a frog's bum smell like? It might smell nice for all you know.' Even as Charlie was saying that he realized it probably wasn't the smartest comeback. 'Hey, Teddy!' Dylan hissed at the boy next to him. Teddy was Dylan's best friend and he had a large house, and his mum drove a big Range Rover but Teddy wasn't ever allowed to call her Mum– Teddy had to call her by her name, Lou-Lou. 'Charlie thinks frog bums smell nice. Charlie sniffs frog bums!' Teddy burst out laughing. 'WHATISTHEMEANINGOFTHISYOUARE DOINGATESTANDIASKEDFORSILENCE.'

迪伦暗自窃笑。 “不，我不知道。话说回来，青蛙的屁股闻起来是什么味道？ 说不定闻起来很香呢。”就在查理说这话的时候，他意识到这可能不是最聪明的回答。 “嘿,泰迪!”迪伦对他旁边的男孩发出嘘声。 泰迪是迪伦最好的朋友，他有一所大房子，他妈妈开着一辆大路虎，但泰迪从来不被允许叫她妈妈——泰迪只能叫她的名字，露露。 “查理觉得青蛙屁股闻起来很香。 查理闻青蛙屁股！”特迪突然大笑起来。 “WHATISTHEMEANINGOFTHISYOUARE DOINGATESTANDIASKEDFORSILENCE。”

That was the teacher, Mr Wind. Arthur Wind was really old– forty-something– and he had grey hair and was pretty nice most of the time, apart from: a) Whenever his football team, Birmingham United, lost. b) Whenever Ms Fyre, the head teacher, was off sick. c) Whenever people laughed during a test while he was on his phone sending text messages (possibly text messages to Ms Fyre, but we can't be certain about that). They were doing a test and Mr Wind was on his phone. 'YOUKNOWI ASKEDFORSILENCEBUTICAN HEARGIGGLINGWHATONEARTHISGOING ON?' Whenever Mr Wind was angry he spoke very fast and without punctuation. What he actually said was:

那是老师，风先生。 亚瑟·温德真的很老了——四十多岁——他满头白发，大部分时间都很和蔼，除了：a)当他的足球队伯明翰联队输球时。 b)每当班主任弗尔女士请病假时。 c)当他在考试时打电话发短信（可能是发给Fyre女士的短信，但我们不能确定），而别人在笑的时候。 他们在做测试，风先生在玩手机。 “你知道，我要求安静，但我能听到咯咯的笑声。到底发生了什么事？”每当风先生生气时，他说话很快，没有标点符号。 他实际上说的是：

'You know I asked for silence, but I can hear giggling. What on earth is going on?' None of the children said anything in reply. 'The next peep I hear out of anyone will have them sent quick-sharp to Ms Fyre to explain themselves.' Ms Fyre was tall, well-dressed and huge-haired. When she smiled, which she only ever did just before she was about to explode with fury, her curled lips revealed vast pale gums and intimidating slabs of teeth. They were teeth designed for pulling chunks of meat off thigh bones. Her office was always warm and stuffy, which made sweat prickle down children's backs as they stood anxiously waiting for her to speak. The oppressive heat was also perfect for the many orchid plants that were dotted around her office. The orchids were Ms Fyre's babies, and she seemed to care an awful lot more for them than she did for the children in her school. The heat and the orchids gave the office something of a jungle feel: steamy, unpleasant and somewhere you'd be lucky to get out of alive.

“你知道我要求安静，但我能听到咯咯的笑声。 到底发生了什么事？”孩子们谁也没有回答。 “我听到的下一个声音就会让他们马上去找弗尔女士解释。”弗尔女士身材高挑，衣着得体，头发蓬乱。 当她微笑的时候，她只在快要暴怒之前笑过，她那卷曲的嘴唇露出了巨大的苍白的牙龈和吓人的厚牙。 它们是用来从大腿骨上扯下大块肉的牙齿。 她的办公室总是又热又闷，当孩子们焦急地站在那里等她说话时，汗珠从他们的背上直往下流。 闷热的天气也非常适合她办公室周围点缀着的许多兰花。 这些兰花是弗尔女士的孩子，她似乎对它们比对学校里的孩子们关心得多。 炎热和兰花给办公室带来了一种丛林的感觉：潮湿、令人不快，是一个你能活着离开就很幸运的地方。

A moment later, something hit Charlie on the back of the head. Whatever it was, another one came, pranged off his ear and landed on the floor. It was a paper missile. Another one hit his neck. Dylan was pinging paper missiles at him using a rubber band as a catapult. Charlie swung round.

过了一会儿，查理的后脑勺被什么东西打了一下。 不管那是什么，又来了一个，砰的一声从他耳朵上掉下来，落在地板上。 那是一枚纸导弹。另一颗击中了他的脖子。 迪伦用橡皮筋当弹射器朝他扔纸弹。 查理转过身来。

'Cut it out, Dylan!' he whispered. Dylan grinned at him. A grin that said: 'I'm really not going to cut it out, but thanks for the feedback.' Charlie turned back to his test again. A few seconds later, another missile hit. 'Just cut it out!' Charlie whispered, but just that little bit too loudly. 'RIGHTWHOWASTHAT,' shouted Mr Wind. Quick as a flash came the reply from Dylan: 'It was Charlie, sir. He's trying to distract me.' 'RIGHT, CHARLIE MCGUFFIN, I WARNED YOU. YOU KNOW THE WAY TO MS FYRE'S OFFICE.' Charlie tried protesting. 'But, sir–' 'Now, McGuffin!' Mr Wind pointed to the door. Charlie really tried, but he couldn't help the prickling in his eyes turning to tears as he walked to the door. He risked a glance at Flora, who gave him a sympathetic smile, and that was it– the tears started flowing. As he shut the door behind him he could feel Dylan's smug smile burning into him. Charlie's head hung low as he trudged down the corridor. Being sent to Ms Fyre meant a letter home to his parents.

“别闹了，迪伦！”他低声说。 迪伦朝他咧嘴一笑。她笑着说：“我真的不会剪掉它，但还是谢谢你的反馈。”查理又开始做他的测试。 几秒钟后，另一枚导弹击中。 “别说了！”查理小声说，但声音太大了一点。 “对，那是谁？”风先生喊道。 迪伦的回答如闪电般迅速：“是查理，先生。” 他想分散我的注意力。“好吧，查理·麦高芬，我警告过你。 你知道去菲尔女士办公室的路。”查理试图抗议。 “可是，先生——”“现在，麦高芬！”风先生指着门。 查理真的很努力，但当他走向门口时，他还是忍不住热泪盈眶。 他冒险看了弗洛拉一眼，她同情地对他笑了笑，就这样——眼泪开始流了起来。 当他关上身后的门时，他能感觉到迪伦自鸣得意的笑容在他身上燃烧。 查理在走廊里步履沉重地走着，低着头。 被送到弗尔女士那里意味着给他父母的一封信。