Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 Charlie was walking down the school corridor with two of his three best friends, Mohsen and Wogan. 'You serious? You actually turned into a spider?' Mohsen said to Charlie, eyes wide.

'You believe me?' said Charlie with relief in his voice. 'My mum didn't.' 'Course she didn't. Adults never believe anything. That's what friends are for,' Mohsen said wisely. Mohsen had a PS4 AND an X-box, but he had five sisters so that balanced out, Charlie thought. Mohsen and Charlie had become best friends on their first day of reception when Charlie had been too shy to ask to go to the toilet and– well, you can guess what happened. You don't need it spelled out. It happens to everybody, OK? Even your mum or dad have had a little accident in their pants at one time or another. Go and ask them, if you don't believe me. Yes, right now. Go on. I'll wait.… ……I told you they had. And if they are reading this book out loud to you, have a look to see if they are blushing. If they are blushing, they definitely remember having an accident in their pants. And if they aren't blushing, they are probably not human and are almost certainly ROBOTS, in which case you need to check by tickling them. If they laugh, they are human, because robots aren't ticklish.

Anyway, back in reception, Mohsen had been kind and hadn't laughed at Charlie and had helped him to the toilet. Charlie had tears pricking at his eyes, but Mohsen had told him how he had pooed his own pants on the bus a few weeks earlier and the whole bus smelled of poo, and that made Charlie laugh and from that moment on they had been best friends. 'So you were like Spider-Man?' Wogan said, his eyes as wide as Mohsen's. Wogan was the second of Charlie's best friends, and he was awesome at football but all the girls in his year kept trying to kiss him, so that balanced out, thought Charlie. Wogan was tall with unruly hair.

'No. Not at all,' Charlie replied. 'Spider-Man is a human with the powers of a spider because he got bitten by a radioactive spider. Spider-Man was as big as a human and looked like a human. I was the size of a spider and looked like a spider. I had eight legs. I wasn't Spider-Man. I was just…' Charlie thought for a moment. 'I was just… Spider, I suppose.' The three boys pondered this as they approached their classroom. 'So, why did it happen, then?' Wogan asked. 'You know, Spider-Man got bitten by a spider, the Incredible Hulk got radioactivized, and Iron Man got hit on the head by an iron when he was a baby.'

'That's not how Iron Man became Iron Man, Wogan,' Mohsen said, shaking his head. 'I know what your brother told you but it's not true. Anyway, Iron Man doesn't count because he doesn't even have special powers like Charlie. He's just rich and puts on a robot suit.' 'I don't have special powers. It's just something that happened,' said Charlie glumly. 'Whatever,' Wogan said, waving his hand at Mohsen. 'It doesn't answer the question. Why did it happen, Charlie?' 'I don't know,' Charlie replied. 'But I need you guys to help me find out. And Flora too.' 'No. Not Flora. Please, no,' Mohsen and Wogan groaned. Flora Fawner was Charlie's other best friend. 'She'll mess everything up. And she's scary,' Mohsen pleaded. 'She's not scary,' Charlie argued half-heartedly. 'She's… normal,' he added, uncertainly. Wogan groaned again. 'Yeah, right. Sure.' 'Yeah, she's totally and completely one hundred per cent normal,' Mohsen scoffed. 'Well, she's our friend. And she's brave,' Charlie pointed out.

Mohsen and Wogan could not disagree with that. She was easily the bravest of the four of them. Last summer, a bee had flown in through the window of the shed they were all playing in. Charlie, Mohsen and Wogan had run out screaming. Flora, ice-cool, had picked up a cup and, calm as anything, trapped the bee against the window, picked up a piece of paper, slid it in between the window and the cup, and lifted the cup away with the bee trapped inside, walked slowly down the stairs to the front door, and let the bee out, off to bee freedom. The boys had stood staring at her in open-mouthed awe. Whenever there were bullies, Flora stepped in. Who had sorted it when some boys from the year