Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3 Charlie was walking down the school corridor with two of his three best friends, Mohsen and Wogan. 'You serious? You actually turned into a spider?' Mohsen said to Charlie, eyes wide.

查理和他最好的三个朋友中的两个——莫森和沃根——一起走在学校的走廊上。 你认真的吗?你真的变成了一只蜘蛛？”莫森睁大眼睛对查理说。

'You believe me?' said Charlie with relief in his voice. 'My mum didn't.' 'Course she didn't. Adults never believe anything. That's what friends are for,' Mohsen said wisely. Mohsen had a PS4 AND an X-box, but he had five sisters so that balanced out, Charlie thought. Mohsen and Charlie had become best friends on their first day of reception when Charlie had been too shy to ask to go to the toilet and– well, you can guess what happened. You don't need it spelled out. It happens to everybody, OK? Even your mum or dad have had a little accident in their pants at one time or another. Go and ask them, if you don't believe me. Yes, right now. Go on. I'll wait.… ……I told you they had. And if they are reading this book out loud to you, have a look to see if they are blushing. If they are blushing, they definitely remember having an accident in their pants. And if they aren't blushing, they are probably not human and are almost certainly ROBOTS, in which case you need to check by tickling them. If they laugh, they are human, because robots aren't ticklish.

“你相信我吗？”查理说，声音里带着宽慰。 “我妈妈没有。“她当然没有。” 成年人从不相信任何事。 “这就是朋友的作用，”莫森明智地说。 莫森有一台PS4和一台X-box，但他有五个姐妹，所以这就平衡了，查理想。 莫森和查理在招待会的第一天就成为了最好的朋友，当时查理太害羞了，不敢要求去厕所，你可以猜到发生了什么。 你不需要把它讲清楚。 每个人都会遇到这种情况，好吗？ 即使是你的妈妈或爸爸也有过一次或另一次的小意外。 如果你不相信我，就去问他们。 是的，现在。继续。我将等待。... ......我跟你说过了。 如果他们大声给你读这本书，看看他们是否脸红了。 如果他们脸红了，他们肯定记得裤子出了意外。 如果他们不脸红，他们很可能不是人类，几乎可以肯定是机器人，在这种情况下，你需要通过挠他们的痒来检查。 如果他们笑，他们是人类，因为机器人不怕痒。

Anyway, back in reception, Mohsen had been kind and hadn't laughed at Charlie and had helped him to the toilet. Charlie had tears pricking at his eyes, but Mohsen had told him how he had pooed his own pants on the bus a few weeks earlier and the whole bus smelled of poo, and that made Charlie laugh and from that moment on they had been best friends. 'So you were like Spider-Man?' Wogan said, his eyes as wide as Mohsen's. Wogan was the second of Charlie's best friends, and he was awesome at football but all the girls in his year kept trying to kiss him, so that balanced out, thought Charlie. Wogan was tall with unruly hair.

不管怎么说，在接待处，莫森很友善，没有嘲笑查理，还扶他上了厕所。 查理的眼泪刺痛了他的眼睛，但莫森告诉他，几个星期前，他在公共汽车上把自己的裤子拉屎了，整个公共汽车都有一股便便味，这让查理笑了起来，从那一刻起，他们成了最好的朋友。 “所以你就像蜘蛛侠？”沃根说，他的眼睛和莫森一样睁得大大的。 沃根是查理的第二好朋友，他踢足球很棒，但他那一年的所有女孩都想亲他，所以这就平衡了，查理想。 沃根个子很高，头发蓬乱。

'No. Not at all,' Charlie replied. 'Spider-Man is a human with the powers of a spider because he got bitten by a radioactive spider. Spider-Man was as big as a human and looked like a human. I was the size of a spider and looked like a spider. I had eight legs. I wasn't Spider-Man. I was just…' Charlie thought for a moment. 'I was just… Spider, I suppose.' The three boys pondered this as they approached their classroom. 'So, why did it happen, then?' Wogan asked. 'You know, Spider-Man got bitten by a spider, the Incredible Hulk got radioactivized, and Iron Man got hit on the head by an iron when he was a baby.'

“不。“一点也不。”查理回答。 “蜘蛛侠是一个拥有蜘蛛能力的人，因为他被一只放射性蜘蛛咬了。 蜘蛛侠和人类一样大，看起来像人类。 我有一只蜘蛛那么大，看起来也像一只蜘蛛。 我有八条腿。我不是蜘蛛侠。 我只是……”查理想了一会儿。 “我只是……蜘蛛，我想。”三个男孩一边走向教室，一边思考着这个问题。 “那么，为什么会发生这种事呢？”Wogan问道。 “你知道，蜘蛛侠被蜘蛛咬了，绿巨人被辐射了，钢铁侠在他还是个婴儿的时候被熨斗砸了头。”

'That's not how Iron Man became Iron Man, Wogan,' Mohsen said, shaking his head. 'I know what your brother told you but it's not true. Anyway, Iron Man doesn't count because he doesn't even have special powers like Charlie. He's just rich and puts on a robot suit.' 'I don't have special powers. It's just something that happened,' said Charlie glumly. 'Whatever,' Wogan said, waving his hand at Mohsen. 'It doesn't answer the question. Why did it happen, Charlie?' 'I don't know,' Charlie replied. 'But I need you guys to help me find out. And Flora too.' 'No. Not Flora. Please, no,' Mohsen and Wogan groaned. Flora Fawner was Charlie's other best friend. 'She'll mess everything up. And she's scary,' Mohsen pleaded. 'She's not scary,' Charlie argued half-heartedly. 'She's… normal,' he added, uncertainly. Wogan groaned again. 'Yeah, right. Sure.' 'Yeah, she's totally and completely one hundred per cent normal,' Mohsen scoffed. 'Well, she's our friend. And she's brave,' Charlie pointed out.

“钢铁侠不是这样变成钢铁侠的，沃根，”莫森摇着头说。 “我知道你哥哥对你说了什么，但那不是真的。 总之，钢铁侠不算因为他甚至没有像查理那样的超能力。 他只是有钱，穿了一身机器人服。”“我没有什么特别的能力。 “这是偶然发生的事。”查理闷闷不乐地说。 “随便吧。”沃根说着，朝莫森挥了挥手。 这并没有回答问题。 为什么会这样，查理？“我不知道，”查理回答。 “但我需要你们帮我找到答案。 还有弗洛拉。“没有。不是植物。 莫森和沃根呻吟道。 弗洛拉·福纳是查理的另一个好朋友。 “她会把一切都搞砸的。 而且她很可怕，”莫森恳求道。 “她并不可怕，”查理半心半意地争辩道。 “她……很正常，”他不确定地补充道。 沃根又呻吟了一声。“是啊,没错。 确定。“是啊，她完全是百分之百的正常，”莫森嘲笑道。 “嗯，她是我们的朋友。而且她很勇敢。”查理指出。

Mohsen and Wogan could not disagree with that. She was easily the bravest of the four of them. Last summer, a bee had flown in through the window of the shed they were all playing in. Charlie, Mohsen and Wogan had run out screaming. Flora, ice-cool, had picked up a cup and, calm as anything, trapped the bee against the window, picked up a piece of paper, slid it in between the window and the cup, and lifted the cup away with the bee trapped inside, walked slowly down the stairs to the front door, and let the bee out, off to bee freedom. The boys had stood staring at her in open-mouthed awe. Whenever there were bullies, Flora stepped in. Who had sorted it when some boys from the year

莫森和沃根对此不会有异议。 她无疑是四个人中最勇敢的一个。 去年夏天，一只蜜蜂从他们一起玩耍的小屋的窗户飞了进来。 查理、莫森和沃根尖叫着跑了出来。 弗洛拉冰凉地拿起一只杯子，镇定自若地把蜜蜂困在窗户上，然后拿起一张纸，塞进窗户和杯子之间，把困在杯子里的蜜蜂提起来，慢慢地走下楼梯，走到前门，让蜜蜂出去，享受蜜蜂的自由。 男孩子们站在那里，目瞪口呆地盯着她。 只要有恶霸，弗洛拉就会挺身而出。 是谁把它拣出来的