Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12 'I knew it! I knew it! This is brilliant! This is the best news EVER!' It would be fair to say that Flora was quite pleased when she found out her theory about Charlie changing had been proved correct. 'Well, that's all very well, but it doesn't exactly help me,' replied Charlie, glum-faced. 'Of course it helps you! Of course it does!' Flora gripped Charlie's arms, a manic look in her eyes. 'Doesn't it, Mohsen?' 'Yes!' Mohsen answered, a look of mild terror in his eyes. 'Doesn't it, Wogan?' she asked. 'Yes!' Wogan answered, a look of confusion in his eyes. 'It's obvious, Charlie! Now we know what's causing you to change, we can work out a way of

第十二章我就知道！我就知道！这太棒了！这是最好的消息！”公平地说，当弗洛拉发现她关于查理变化的理论被证明是正确的时候，她非常高兴。 “嗯，这倒很好，但对我并没有什么帮助，”查理阴沉着脸回答。 “当然对你有帮助！”当然有！”弗洛拉紧紧抓住查理的手臂，眼里流露出狂躁的神情。 “是不是，莫森？”“是的!”莫森回答道，眼中带着一丝恐惧。 “是吗，沃根？”她问。 “是的!”沃根回答，眼中流露出困惑。 “这很明显，查理！”现在我们知道是什么导致了你的改变，我们可以想出一个方法

preventing it! Oh, this is just the breakthrough we needed.' Flora thumped her palm in triumph. That's all well and good, Charlie thought, but what's actually going to stop me changing? Charlie thought for a little longer, and decided his last thought was actually a pretty good one and should probably be spoken aloud. 'That's all well and good, but what's actually going to stop me changing?' 'That's a very sensible and well-thought-out question,' said Flora. 'And I have a plan.' She waggled her eyebrows up and down. 'Does this plan involve putting me in a large amount of danger by any chance? You know, maybe sending me flying down a hill at a million miles an hour? Or shaving the head teacher's most prized possession? Or firing me into space?' 'No. It does not. And if you don't want to hear it, I shan't tell you,' said Flora, crossing her arms. 'I do!' protested Charlie. 'I was only joking. Please. Tell me, Flora. What's your plan?' 'OK, well, the plan is simple. Next time you feel it happening, breathe.' 'Breathe?' asked Charlie.

阻止它!哦，这正是我们需要的突破。”弗洛拉得意地捶打着手掌。 这一切都很好，查理想，但什么能阻止我改变呢？ 查理又想了一会儿，觉得他最后的想法其实很不错，也许应该大声说出来。 “这些都很好，但什么能阻止我改变呢？”“这是一个非常明智和深思熟虑的问题，”弗洛拉说。 “我有一个计划。”她上下摆动着眉毛。 “这个计划会不会把我置于很大的危险之中？” 也许让我以每小时一百万英里的速度从山上飞下来？ 或者剃掉校长最珍贵的东西？ 或者把我送上太空？“没有。 但事实并非如此。“如果你不想听，我就不告诉你，”弗洛拉交叉着双臂说。 “我做的!查理抗议道。 “我只是开个玩笑。请。 告诉我，弗洛拉。你的计划是什么？”“好吧，计划很简单。 下次你有这种感觉的时候，深呼吸。“呼吸吗?查理问。

'Yes,' replied Flora. 'Breathe.' 'Breathe. Brilliant.' When Charlie said 'brilliant' it really didn't sound like he meant 'brilliant'. It sounded more like 'That is the single worst plan I have heard since Wogan decided not to pack any spare underwear when we went camping to save space in his rucksack for his pet goldfish. And the goldfish bowl.' 'What a marvellous plan,' continued Charlie, 'because my plan was actually not to breathe. And then I might die and not have to listen to ONE OF YOUR AWFUL PLANS EVER AGAIN.'

“是的，”弗洛拉回答。的呼吸。“呼吸。 辉煌。”当查理说“brilliant”的时候，听起来他真的不是在说“brilliant”。 这听起来更像是“这是我听过的最糟糕的计划，因为我们去露营时，沃根为了给他的宠物金鱼留空间，决定不带任何备用内衣。” 还有金鱼缸。“多么奇妙的计划啊，”查理继续说，“因为我的计划实际上是不呼吸。” 然后我就可以死了，再也不用听你那些可怕的计划了。”

'Charlie, what have we discovered causes you to change into an animal?' Flora asked the question like Charlie was five years old. 'Stress,' answered Charlie. 'And what helps with stress? Think back to our meditation lessons with the mindfulness and yoga teacher. You remember the song she sang?' '"I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt"?' suggested Wogan. 'No, Wogan. That wasn't it.' 'Oh. I don't know then,' Wogan said with a furrowed brow. 'It's so difficult!'

“查理，我们发现了什么使你变成动物的？”弗洛拉问的问题就像查理是个五岁的孩子。 “压力，”查理回答。 “什么有助于缓解压力？” 回想一下我们和正念瑜伽老师一起上的冥想课。 你记得她唱的那首歌吗？“我穿衬衫太性感了”？沃根建议道。 “不,Wogan。不是这样的。“哦。 “那我就不知道了。”沃根皱着眉头说。 “太难了！”

'Come on! You all know! The "Breath is Life" song!' Mohsen, Charlie and Wogan looked at her blankly. 'Did none of you listen to her at all?' Again they looked blankly at Flora. Flora closed her eyes and began singing: 'Breathe in life! Breathe in joy! A deep breath is more blessed Than a PlayStation toy! Deep breath in! Deep breath out! Big breath out from your mouth Suck it in up your snout!' The song was met with a stony silence from the boys. 'That really doesn't ring ANY bells with you?' The boys shrugged. 'I don't know why Miss Rainbow Gaia-Earthchild bothered, I really don't. You don't remember any of it? The body relaxing? The visualization techniques? Nothing?' Mohsen, Wogan and Charlie looked blankly back at Flora. 'Honestly. Some people. Anyway, the point is deep breathing and imagining beautiful places and stuff

“来吧!你们都知道！《呼吸就是生命》这首歌！”莫森、查理和沃根茫然地看着她。 “你们谁也没有听她的话吗？”他们又茫然地看着弗洛拉。 弗洛拉闭上眼睛，唱起歌来：“吸气吧！快乐地呼吸！深呼吸比PlayStation玩具更有福！深呼吸！深呼吸！大呼一口气，用鼻子吸进去！”这首歌引起了孩子们的沉默。 “你真的想不起来了吗？”男孩们耸了耸肩。 “我不知道彩虹·盖亚——地球孩子小姐为什么要麻烦我，我真的不知道。 你什么都不记得了？ 身体放松了吗？可视化技术？ 什么?”莫森、沃根和查理茫然地回头看着弗洛拉。 的诚实。一些人。总之，重点是深呼吸，想象美丽的地方什么的

relaxes you. Relaxing will stop you stressing. And hopefully– hopefully– that will stop you changing.' Charlie had to admit it actually wasn't the worst plan he had ever heard. And right now, as it was their only plan, it was definitely their best plan. And it was just a day later– just four days before the school play– that Flora's 'Miss Rainbow Gaia- Earthchild Relaxation Plan' was put to the test. It was a hot sunny day, the sort of day when you couldn't walk barefoot outside because the pavement burned the soles of your feet, and Charlie was visiting his brother in hospital. It was now three days away from his brother's big scan. Charlie, sweat prickling underneath the collar of his shirt, was sitting on the edge of SmoothMove's bed waiting for him to reply. SmoothMove was looking very serious, staring at the ceiling, hat on his bald head. After the longest time SmoothMove finally spoke. 'You promise you're totally telling the truth. Cross your heart?' 'Promise. Cross my heart,' Charlie replied. 'But that's unbelievable. Like properly amazing. I don't know what to say.'

能使你放松。放松会让你不再有压力。 希望——希望——这能阻止你改变。”查理不得不承认，这并不是他听过的最糟糕的计划。 现在，这是他们唯一的计划，也是最好的计划。 就在一天后，也就是学校演出的四天前，弗洛拉的“彩虹盖亚小姐-地球孩子的放松计划”被付诸实践。 这是一个炎热的晴天，是那种你不能光着脚走在外面的天气，因为人行道会把你的脚底烫伤，而查理正在医院看望他的兄弟。 此时离他哥哥的大扫描还有三天。 查理坐在SmoothMove的床边，汗珠在衬衫领子下面刺痛，等着他回答。 滑头看上去很严肃，眼睛盯着天花板，秃头上戴着帽子。 过了很长时间，SmoothMove终于开口了。 “你保证你说的都是实话。 你发誓？“的承诺。 “我发誓。”查理回答。 “但这令人难以置信。非常惊人。 我不知道该说什么。”