Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11 Charlie knew he only had a matter of moments before Ms Fyre returned with help. He had to think fast. He had no time to dwell on the extraordinary feeling of being a snake. No time to appreciate his new long, lithe muscular body. His brain was being overloaded with a barrage of new information. Every time his forked tongue flickered out of his mouth he could taste the smell of Ms Fyre's sweat lingering in the room, and he could feel through his stomach the receding footsteps of the head teacher sprinting down the corridor. He slithered around the carpeted floor of the office, trying to find a suitable escape hole. Nothing. He arched his head up and spied something that made

第11章查理知道，费莱女士带着帮助回来的时间不多了。 他必须快速思考。他没有时间去细想当蛇的那种不寻常的感觉。 没时间欣赏他那又长又柔软的肌肉身体。 他的脑子里塞满了接二连三的新信息。 每次他分叉的舌头从嘴里伸出来时，他都能闻到弗尔女士的汗味在房间里萦绕不去，他还能从胃里感觉到校长沿着走廊疾驰而去的脚步声。 他在铺着地毯的办公室地板上爬来爬去，试图找到一个合适的逃生孔。 什么都没有。他抬起头，发现有什么东西发出声响

his snake heart burst with hope: an air vent high up in the corner of the room. He zigzagged across the room, and began stretching his long body to try to reach the vent. As much as he could stretch, though, he couldn't quite get there. Well, then, I'll just have to go the long way around, Charlie thought. He slithered over to the bookcase and zipped up the shelves all the way to the top. He could feel the vibrations of more footsteps, lots of them, pounding down the corridor towards the office. The teachers were coming, and at top speed. From the top of the bookcase he was able to slide over to the curtain rail and then along it. From there he might just be able to reach the air vent. He heard the sound of a key in the door and loud voices outside clamouring to get in. Charlie stretched his long body across the corner of the room, and his head was just able to reach the air vent. His tongue flickered involuntarily– he could taste dust and spiders and stale air. He started sliding into the blackness. He felt Ms Fyre's door crash open and footsteps tumble in to the office just as the end of his tail

他的蛇心充满了希望：房间角落高处的通风口。 他弯弯曲曲地穿过房间，开始伸展他长长的身体，试图够到通风口。 尽管他尽了最大的努力，他还是无法到达那里。 好吧，那我只好绕远一点了，查理想。 他滑到书架前，把书架拉上拉链，一直拉到最上面。 他能感觉到更多脚步声的震动，很多脚步声，沿着走廊朝办公室走去。 老师们正以最快的速度赶来。 他可以从书柜的顶部滑到窗帘栏杆上，然后沿着它滑下去。 从那里他可能刚好能到通风口。 他听到钥匙插在门上的声音和外面吵嚷着要进去的声音。 查理把他长长的身体伸到房间的一角，他的头刚好够到通风口。 他的舌头不由自主地颤动着——他尝到了灰尘、蜘蛛和污浊的空气的味道。 他开始滑入黑暗中。 他感到弗尔女士的门被撞开了，办公室里传来了脚步声，就在这时，他的尾巴已经结束了

disappeared into the vent. 'Find it!' 'Where is it?' 'Are you absolutely sure it was a snake, Ms Fyre?' The voices echoed behind Charlie as he slid through the dark shaft that linked the office to– well, Charlie actually had no idea where he was going. All he knew and cared about was that he was free from the office. And didn't need a wee. He also knew that he really did NOT want to change back while he was still in the shaft. That would be beyond awful. The consequences of suddenly expanding into a full-size Charlie in a space that certainly couldn't fit a full-size Charlie would be very messy indeed. So he slithered as fast as he could down the tiny passage, until he came to the next vent. He could smell it was a toilet even before he poked his head through the grille. He slid straight through the gap into a brightly lit, and fortunately empty, toilet. He slithered straight down the wall into an empty cubicle, and tried to take stock of his situation. If he could just wait it out, he would change back to Charlie and everything would be OK. He couldn't wait to tell the others: Flora was right. She was

消失在通风口。 “找到它!“它在哪儿？”“你能绝对肯定那是一条蛇吗，费尔女士？”当查理穿过连接办公室的黑乎乎的竖井时，声音在他身后回响——嗯，查理实际上不知道自己要去哪里。 他所知道和关心的是，他可以离开办公室了。 而且不需要尿尿。他也知道，当他还在竖井里的时候，他真的不想换回来。 那太可怕了。 在一个根本装不下一个大尺寸查理的空间里突然膨胀成一个大尺寸查理的后果会非常混乱。 于是他以最快的速度滑过那条狭小的通道，一直滑到下一个通风口。 他还没从格栅里探出头来，就已经闻到了厕所的味道。 他径直溜进了一个灯火通明、幸好是空的厕所。 他径直爬下墙头，走进一间空无一人的小隔间，试着评估一下自己的处境。 如果他能等过去，他就会变回查理，一切都会好起来的。 他迫不及待地告诉其他人：弗洛拉是对的。 她是

absolutely right about everything– him changing was related to stress. She should definitely be a scientist, Charlie thought. And he couldn't wait to tell Flora about his latest adventure, changing into a snake and escaping from the rampaging teachers. She might, Charlie hoped, think that he had been rather brave. But first he had to change back. And as long as nobody came into the toilet, Charlie thought, he'd be fine. Charlie really shouldn't have thought that last thought.

完全正确——他的变化与压力有关。 她绝对应该成为一名科学家，查理想。 他迫不及待地告诉弗洛拉他最近的冒险经历，他变成了一条蛇，从狂暴的老师那里逃脱了。 查理希望她会认为他相当勇敢。 但首先他得变回去。 查理想，只要没人进厕所，他就没事了。 查理真不该这么想。

Because, obviously, approximately one nanosecond after he thought it, the toilet door opened and to Charlie's horror a bunch of girls stampeded in, chattering and giggling. He was in the girls' toilet! If he had a hand or a forehead, he would have slapped the latter with the former.fn1 He tried to groan, and immediately discovered that when a snake attempts to groan it comes out as a long hiss. Now, if you want to silence a group of loud, chattering girls in a school toilet, pretty much the quickest way to do it is to: 1. Be a snake, and 2. Hiss loudly from one of the toilet cubicles. And that's exactly what happened– the girls immediately froze in stunned silence. Then, in unison, they all turned their heads to the cubicle from which the hiss had come. Slowly, ever so slowly, all holding their breath, the girls edged their way to the cubicle door. The bravest, a girl called Molly (who would one day become the first person to climb Mount Everest while carrying a miniature llama strapped to her back– do NOT ask why), stepped towards the door. With just the briefest moment of hesitation she placed one hand on the door, and pushed it open.

因为，很明显，就在他这么想的一纳秒后，厕所的门开了，让查理惊恐的是一群女孩冲了进来，叽叽喳喳地笑着。 他在女厕所里！如果他有一只手或一个额头，他会用前者拍打后者。他试着呻吟，并立即发现当蛇试图呻吟时，发出的是长长的嘶嘶声。 现在，如果你想让一群在学校厕所里大声喧哗、喋喋不休的女孩安静下来，最快捷的方法就是： 做一条蛇；从厕所隔间传来的嘶嘶声。 事实就是如此——女孩们立刻惊呆了，沉默不语。 然后，他们不约而同地把头转向那个发出嘶嘶声的小隔间。 姑娘们都屏住呼吸，慢慢地，非常缓慢地向小隔间门口走去。 最勇敢的是一个名叫莫莉的女孩（她有一天将成为第一个背上绑着一只微型美洲驼攀登珠穆朗玛峰的人——不要问为什么），她走向门口。 她犹豫了片刻，一只手放在门上，推开了门。

And there, coiled on the floor of the toilet, was to their utter horror a spectacular two-metre-long reticulated python. Or Charlie the Snake as we know him. The silence broke with the sound of four girls screaming at the very top of their voices, which, as everybody knows, is the loudest sound on the planet. The vibration of the scream hit Charlie like a high- speed brick wall, if brick walls could travel at high speed (and we should all be glad they can't). It sent him into a frenzied panic, and he began twisting and writhing, which made the girls scream even louder. And through the cloud of panic he realized there was only one way out. Charlie took a deep breath and slid over the edge of the toilet bowl and down into the water. Yes– down into the wee-wee water. And he started swimming as fast as he could down the toilet and through the U- bend and then into the pipes. As he swam he decided that he would probably leave this part of the story out when telling Mohsen, Wogan and Flora about his time as a snake. I mean, there's no need for them to know all the details, he thought as he swam past a small poo.

在那里，在厕所的地板上盘绕着一条两米长的网状蟒蛇，这让他们感到非常恐怖。 或者是我们熟知的蛇查理。 寂静被四个女孩扯着嗓子尖叫的声音打破了，大家都知道，这是地球上最响亮的声音。 如果砖墙可以高速移动的话（我们都应该庆幸砖墙不能高速移动），那尖叫的震动就像一堵高速的砖墙击中了查理。 这让他陷入了疯狂的恐慌，他开始扭动身体，这让女孩们尖叫得更大声了。 在一片恐慌中，他意识到只有一条出路。 查理深吸了一口气，滑过马桶边缘，掉进了水里。 是的，下到污水里去。 他开始以最快的速度游过马桶，穿过U型弯，然后进入水管。 当他游泳时，他决定在向莫森、沃根和弗洛拉讲述他作为一条蛇的经历时，可能会把这部分故事省略掉。 “我的意思是，他们没有必要知道所有的细节，”他游过一个小便便时想。