Chapter 1

CHARLIE CHANGES INTO A CHICKEN

查理变成了一只鸡

CHAPTER 1 This is Charles McGuffin. It isn't actually him. It's just a picture of him. OF COURSE. If you hadn't figured that out, this book

第一章这是查尔斯·麦高芬。 其实不是他。这只是他的一张照片。 当然可以。如果你没想明白，这本书

will be way too difficult for you and you should probably go and read The Really Simple Book of Dead Easy Stories for Total Numptyheads instead. Charles McGuffin was just like you and me. Well, he wasn't like me because I'm big and hairy, and Charles is small and pretty smooth. So he's just like you. Except he has a you-know-what, and I'm guessing many of you reading this don't have a you-know-what. So Charles is like some of you. Except for one for one MAJORLY HUGE, MASSIVE difference. He can change into animals.

对你来说太难了，你可能应该去读《完全傻瓜的简单故事大全》。 查尔斯·麦高芬就像你我一样。 他不像我，因为我又大又多毛，而查尔斯又小又光滑。 所以他和你一样。除了他有一个“你知道什么”，我猜你们很多人读这篇文章的时候都没有“你知道什么”。 所以查尔斯和你们中的一些人一样。 除了一对一的差异，这是非常巨大的差异。 他能变成动物。

As in, one minute he's a normal boy, the next minute he's a wolf. Or an armadillo. Or a danger noodle (which, as everyone knows, is the actual scientific name for a snake). OK, so that probably means Charles is absolutely nothing like any of you because nobody else can change into animals. I think it's probably best if we start this book again, don't you? Just pretend you didn't read this bit, OK?

前一分钟他还是个正常的男孩，下一分钟他就变成了狼。 或者犰狳。或者是危险面条（众所周知，这是蛇的学名）。 好吧，这可能意味着查尔斯和你们中的任何一个人都不一样，因为没有人能变成动物。 我觉得我们最好重新开始读这本书，你觉得呢？ 假装你没读到这部分，好吗？

CHAPTER 1 (AGAIn) This is Charles McGuffin.

第一章（再次）我是查尔斯·麦高芬。