16 Foggy Head

16. FOGGY HEAD The Blackhole sailed into Dullshire Sound just after dawn, cutting through a light sea mist with the sun as it streamed across the waves. Jim and Matilda were watching the sunrise from the poop deck. Below them, Grandpa scanned the horizon while Jim's mom steered the ship. Up ahead, a small boat was coming out of Dull-on-Sea harbor and heading their way. A uniformed man on deck was scrutinizing the

Blackhole through a pair of binoculars. Jim and Matilda waved from the poop deck, but he didn't wave back. "Hello! Dull-on-Sea customs to the pirate ship! Anything to declare? Over," came a voice on the radio. "Um.... Only ninety-one retired pirates," Jim's dad replied into his handset. "And an equal number of parrots. Oh, and a lot of bananas."

"I'm sorry, the line's a bit fuzzy. I thought you said 'retired pirates,'" the voice replied with a chuckle. "Over." "Um, yes. That's what I said. But don't ye worry, they're mostly good citizens and they've got barrels full o' gold!" "I think we may have to come aboard. Please hold your position!" said the voice. "Tell 'em we're headin' to Foggy Head," said Jim's mom. "Hello, Cap'n Customs! We're bound for Foggy Head Retirement Home, and these old sea dogs are all booked in. Ye can chat to the matron if ye like." Jim's dad crossed his fingers— things never went well when the customs men came

aboard. They weren't too keen on skulls and treasure and cannons and stuff. "Carry on to Foggy Head.... Um, over," came a slightly confused voice from the customs boat. The sitting room at Foggy Head Retirement Home was full to the brim. Ninety-three old pirates sat on leather armchairs, snacking and watching a puppet show, with their parrots dozing on their shoulders. "The puppet-show man always comes on a Tuesday," said the matron. "I've been turning him away of late, as we only had two residents. There aren't too many old

pirates nowadays, and the puppets always got Blood-Blister Bob a bit excited. Before you'd know it, he'd have his cutlass out, which would then set off Grumpy Gordon. Hopefully they'll calm down a bit with a few more friends. We have crochet club on Wednesdays, dancing on Thursdays, and exercise on Friday afternoons, before they get their rum."

Jim's mom smiled and shook the matron's hand. "I'm sure they'll all be very happy here." "You know, we were on the verge of closing," the matron continued. "But now we'll be open for years and years with all that lovely gold! Thank you so much!" The matron walked them to the front door and hurried back to her new residents.