10 The Magical Interweb!

10. THE MAGICAL INTERWEB! Matilda and the sea hags went to the Dull-on-Sea Library next. It offered free Internet, which was an important part of Matilda's plan. But first she had to teach the sea hags how to use a computer.

Call the cursed cat! A mouse! A mouse! Chase the vermin from this house! Shhhh!

"It's not a real mouse." Matilda said. "It just looks a little bit like a mouse, because it's round and it has a cable that resembles a tail." "OH," said the hags all together. "It's a real mouse now!" said Pipweed with a flash of her wand. Matilda watched what was now a very real mouse scurry off the edge of the desk. It wasn't going well. A few zaps of the wand later and the mouse was back on the desk, made of plastic and attached to the computer. Weirdly, it did still have ears. Matilda decided to jump to the next step. Now that the sea hags had opened a bank account, they could buy things

online. Matilda clicked open a web browser and, for added effect, spun around on her chair, arms wide, which made the three hags jump. "Ta-da!" cried Matilda, pointing to the screen. Maerl pulled out her wand in defense. "Put that away!" said Matilda. "And stand back. Now I will show you my magic! This magic is so potent, I can make all that you desire appear at your door!" "OOOOOOH!" said the sea hags. "You can find the ship of your dreams! A beautiful hat!

The rarest of flags! And people will come from afar and bring these things to Hag's Head House!" bellowed Matilda. "I call this the MAGICAL INTERWEB! Behold its power!" "Shhh!" said the librarian. Matilda searched for "ship-in-a- bottle," and a beautiful ship popped up on the screen. It wasn't in a bottle, but it was a very impressive model, and she was sure the hags would have something to put it in. The sea hags moved closer, and Dabberlocks pointed her wand. "A ship! A ship!" she cried. "And only three hundred and ninety- nine pounds!" said Matilda, hastily keying

in the sea hags' bank details and making sure she selected next-day delivery. Matilda repeated her magic for the other two sisters and had soon ordered a ship, a Jolly Roger, and a truly magnificent hat. She printed receipts for the sea hags with pictures of each purchase, and they clung to their printouts, jabbering excitedly. An elderly man next to them, who had overheard Matilda's "magic," said, "Can you get me a mermaid?" "Shhh!" said the librarian. Outside the library, the hags seemed unhappy.