20 A Transformation

CHAPTER 20 A Transformation Utterson put down Lanyon's letter and turned to the last envelope. He held it in his hands a few moments before opening it. He knew this letter would be his final contact with Henry Jekyll. He was both curious and worried by what his friend would have to say. Utterson slowly opened the envelope, unfolded the thick stack of papers, and began

to read. "I was born to a large fortune. I had a love of industry and study, and enjoyed the company of friends. All indications were that my life would be blessed with good fortune and promise. No one doubted that I was headed toward a great career. Indeed, my only fault was my rather free-spirited nature. It was always a great difficulty for me to hide my joy of life and display a more noble outlook. According to my family, it was considered impolite to appear too lively, too enthusiastic. I learned to hide my pleasures. I was one person when with my family and someone else when on my own. It wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties that I took stock of my surroundings and realized that I was leading a double life. Some men might have bragged about their exploits, but I saw them as shameful secrets. I took great pains to hide them from the world. Over time I

had succeeded in dividing the two sides of my nature, the good and the evil. I was in no sense a liar, as both sides of me were true. I was entirely myself when engaging in some shameful activity, just as I was entirely myself while living a good and clean life. My scientific studies centered on this dual nature of man, that we can be both good and bad. I assumed that there was a logical and chemical reason for this division. It must be a part of our physical makeup. Why is one person blond and the other brunette? Why are some people tall and others short? There must be a similar reason to explain the good and bad parts of mankind. I was my own lab experiment. Every day I felt I was drawing closer to understanding this division. It was my strong belief that man is not one, but two. Two persons in one. I am certain that other scientists will follow and discover that we are in fact even more than two. For now,

though, I must stick with what I know to be true. During my studies and experiments, I became convinced that this dual nature could be separated. I told myself that if each side of a person could be divided into separate identities, life would be easier. The evil could go in one direction and the good in the other. We would easily recognize one from the other. There would be no more uncertainty or confusion. That these two opposing forces trapped within the same body had already caused too much pain. My next question was, 'How could I separate them?' "I will not go into the exact scientific details of my discovery for two reasons. First, I believe that it is too dangerous to pass on such information. We are all naturally curious and I would not want anyone else to be harmed. Second, as you will soon learn from my confession, my discoveries were incomplete. Needless to say, after much

experimenting and trial and error, I discovered what I thought to be the perfect combination. "I waited some time before I put this theory into practice. I knew well that I risked death. Any drug that shakes the very idea of who we are must be dangerous. But my curiosity was too great. Any concerns I had were overcome by my intense desire to learn something new. I purchased a large quantity of a particular salt from a wholesale company. I knew this salt was the last piece to the puzzle. Late one night, I put all the elements together in a measuring glass. I watched as it bubbled, smoked, and boiled. It changed colors several times before turning a pale watery green. Taking a deep breath for courage, I swallowed the potion quickly. "The pain and sickness surprised me. I found myself rolling on the floor in agony. I felt certain that I had done myself serious

harm. Then, quite suddenly, the pain stopped. I felt perfectly fine. I stood up and realized that I felt lighter, healthier, younger than I had in years. I had a strange feeling of restlessness. New, strange, and, dare I say, wicked images flashed through my mind. I believe wicked is the right word to use here. I felt positively wicked and free from any duty. I stretched out my arms and noticed for the first time that I was shorter. Somehow, I had shrunk during my transformation. My clothes were all too big for me now. I had become Mr. Edward Hyde."