Chapter 8

Saturday On the day of judging Dev wanted me to wear a LEOPARD SKIN TASSELLED ONESIE he'd found at the back of his wardrobe. I refused on the grounds that it was horrendous. He is definitely not talented when it comes to picking tasteful clothing.

I purposely didn't ask the parents to judge. They'd have said everything I did was brilliant just to spare my feelings. On the other hand, Jack and Oli don't give a jot about my feelings. They are heartless buffoons. Agung is only judging because we are using his room and he has no other choice. I must remember to make sure he is wearing his specs. The other day he went for a walk and Mrs Sharma had to bring him back because she found him throwing tea coasters (thinking they were biscuits) at a couple of logs floating in the park pond (thinking they were ducks). It is a good job the local constabulary didn't spot him. He could have been prosecuted for hooliganism! After EVIL TWINS left, me and Dev set up in Agung's room. It wasn't ideal as it was

full of junk and joss stick fumes that make your eyes water. We made space by pushing the sofa and coffee table to one side. Jack and Agung sat on the sofa. Jack is a different person since going to Kayla's book club. He is bossing me about less, for a start. I like everything about the new Jack, apart from his cravat. It's supposed to make him look intellectual but just looks like he's forgotten to take his napkin off from dinner.

Agung did have his specs on but still managed to put a tartan slipper on one foot and a flip flop on the other. Oli ran whooping into the room. 'Someone's excited to see the show!' said Dev. 'No,' said Oli. 'I'm just glad to be free.' He had also been hiding from EVIL TWINS all morning. As soon as everyone was settled, I started the recorder recital. It was 'When the Saints Go Marching In'. I played as loudly as I could and added a dance routine with a leg flick to either side. Oli asked if I had cramp so I stopped doing that. As I got to the second verse, we heard Graham howling from two doors down. Then one by one all the other

neighbourhood dogs started joining in. Jack said that dogs can hear ultra-high notes that can't be detected by human ears. It was probably freaking them out. 'Dunno about the dogs but I'm freaking out here!' said Oli, sticking his fingers in his ears.

I tried to be professional by playing on, until we heard Mr Pike shout out, 'SHUT THAT BLEEDIN' RACKET!' Dev told me it might be a good idea to stop before we got reported to the local authorities for noise disturbance. I was devastated about not finishing all seventeen verses– all that practice for nothing! Anyway, I did my best but the marks weren't great: