Chapter 7

Monday I wanted to ask Dev what progress he was making on my mentoring plans. So far, I had crossed painting, science and childminding off my 'Things I'm Potentially Ace At' list. I was hoping he had some other suggestions before I resorted to sticking my head in a cupboard and repeatedly banging the door on it.

周一，我想问Dev他在我的指导计划上取得了什么进展。 到目前为止，我已经把绘画、科学和育儿从“我可能擅长的事情”清单上划掉了。 我希望他能给我一些其他的建议，然后我只好把头伸进橱柜里，不停地敲门。

At morning break Dev came running over, upset. He tried to tell me what was wrong but I couldn't understand a word because he was wheezing so badly. He had only jogged from the Design and Technology block twelve yards away. Dev is prone to asthma in muggy weather, plus he had non-regulation espadrilles on, which I'm sure don't offer any kind of foot support. I even had time to count the coins in my pocket and watch a seagull attack Matilda Ogden's cheese and onion pasty before he got his breath back. 'It's my drama club,' he gasped. 'It's closing down due to lack of funds!' He got his inhaler out and puffed on it.

早上休息的时候，戴夫心烦意乱地跑过来。 他想告诉我出了什么事，但我一个字也听不懂，因为他气喘得很厉害。 他刚从12码外的设计与技术大楼慢跑过来。 戴夫在闷热的天气里容易患哮喘，再加上他穿的是不规范的帆布鞋，我敢肯定这鞋不会给脚提供任何支撑。 我甚至有时间数口袋里的硬币，看着一只海鸥攻击玛蒂尔达·奥格登的奶酪洋葱馅饼，然后他才喘过气来。 “这是我的戏剧俱乐部，”他喘着气说。 “由于缺乏资金，它要关门了！”他拿出吸入器，吸了一口。

I was shocked. The drama club has been Dev's second home for years. Just as his home has been my second home on Saturdays while hiding from EVIL TWINS. If the club shuts then Dev's certain path to stardom will be over with. 'What about other clubs?' I asked. 'But I don't like judo, macramé or political debate,' he said. 'No, drama clubs, you plum!' 'Well the next closest is High Heath, where the POSH KIDS go. All they do is Shakespeare which I don't get. Plus wearing an Elizabethan ruff makes my face look like a beach ball.'

我很震惊。戏剧社多年来一直是戴夫的第二个家。 就像他的家一直是我周六躲避邪恶双胞胎的第二个家一样。 如果俱乐部关闭了，戴夫的明星之路就结束了。 “其他俱乐部呢？”我问。 他说，但我不喜欢柔道、戏剧表演或政治辩论。 “不，是戏剧俱乐部，你这个美人儿！”“嗯，第二近的是High Heath，时髦的孩子们去的地方。” 他们只会莎士比亚，我不懂。 另外，戴着伊丽莎白时代的领圈让我的脸看起来像个沙滩球。”

Dev thinks his face is too round, but I tell him it's just puppy fat and he will grow out of it. 'And it's a half mile hike up a hill to get there,' he wailed. 'I can't do that with my lungs.' He puffed on his inhaler again and his eyes welled up. I didn't know if he was about to sob or if he'd inhaled a bit too strenuously. I have only ever known Dev to cry twice. Once when his SpongeBob SquarePants balloon burst and the other when an alpaca ate his candy floss at the Blogworth Agricultural Show.

戴夫认为他的脸太圆了，但我告诉他这只是小狗的脂肪，他会长大的。 “而且上山要走半英里路才能到那儿，”他哭喊着。 “我的肺做不到。”他又吸了一口吸入器，眼睛湿润了。 我不知道他是要抽泣，还是吸得太用力了。 我只知道戴夫哭过两次。 一次是他的海绵宝宝气球爆了，另一次是在博格沃斯农业展上，一只羊驼吃了他的棉花糖。

I rooted about in my bag and gave him a tissue. It had a partially sucked boiled sweet stuck to it but Dev was in such a state of despair, he wouldn't have noticed. I felt I needed to help somehow. After all, he offered to help mentor me (even though there had been zero evidence of it so far).

我在包里翻了翻，递给他一张纸巾。 上面粘着一块被吸干了一部分的煮甜糖，但戴夫是如此绝望，他不会注意到的。 我觉得我需要帮忙。 毕竟，他提出要帮助指导我（尽管到目前为止还没有任何证据）。

Just before lunchtime, I had a brilliant idea and couldn't wait to tell him. 'Hey, Dev, I know how to save your drama club!' I said, as we queued for food. 'How?' he grumbled. 'Why don't you get all the members together and organise a variety show to raise money?' Dev's eyes lit up and his mouth gaped open. 'Oh my God, why didn't I think of that? That's the best idea since the twenty-pee thing!' Last April Fool's day I glued a twenty pence piece to the pavement outside Ged's house, then me and Dev both watched from behind a hedge while he tried to prise it off

就在午餐前，我有了一个绝妙的主意，迫不及待地告诉了他。 嘿，戴夫，我知道怎么拯救你的戏剧社了当我们排队买食物时，我说。 “如何?他嘟囔着。“你为什么不把所有的成员召集起来，组织一个综艺节目来筹集资金呢？”戴夫眼睛一亮，嘴巴张得大大的。 “哦，天哪，我怎么没想到这一点？” 这是自20便士事件以来最好的主意！”去年愚人节，我把一枚20便士的硬币粘在格德家外面的人行道上，然后我和戴夫在树篱后面看着他试图把它撬下来