Chapter 7

Monday I wanted to ask Dev what progress he was making on my mentoring plans. So far, I had crossed painting, science and childminding off my 'Things I'm Potentially Ace At' list. I was hoping he had some other suggestions before I resorted to sticking my head in a cupboard and repeatedly banging the door on it.

At morning break Dev came running over, upset. He tried to tell me what was wrong but I couldn't understand a word because he was wheezing so badly. He had only jogged from the Design and Technology block twelve yards away. Dev is prone to asthma in muggy weather, plus he had non-regulation espadrilles on, which I'm sure don't offer any kind of foot support. I even had time to count the coins in my pocket and watch a seagull attack Matilda Ogden's cheese and onion pasty before he got his breath back. 'It's my drama club,' he gasped. 'It's closing down due to lack of funds!' He got his inhaler out and puffed on it.

I was shocked. The drama club has been Dev's second home for years. Just as his home has been my second home on Saturdays while hiding from EVIL TWINS. If the club shuts then Dev's certain path to stardom will be over with. 'What about other clubs?' I asked. 'But I don't like judo, macramé or political debate,' he said. 'No, drama clubs, you plum!' 'Well the next closest is High Heath, where the POSH KIDS go. All they do is Shakespeare which I don't get. Plus wearing an Elizabethan ruff makes my face look like a beach ball.'

Dev thinks his face is too round, but I tell him it's just puppy fat and he will grow out of it. 'And it's a half mile hike up a hill to get there,' he wailed. 'I can't do that with my lungs.' He puffed on his inhaler again and his eyes welled up. I didn't know if he was about to sob or if he'd inhaled a bit too strenuously. I have only ever known Dev to cry twice. Once when his SpongeBob SquarePants balloon burst and the other when an alpaca ate his candy floss at the Blogworth Agricultural Show.

I rooted about in my bag and gave him a tissue. It had a partially sucked boiled sweet stuck to it but Dev was in such a state of despair, he wouldn't have noticed. I felt I needed to help somehow. After all, he offered to help mentor me (even though there had been zero evidence of it so far).

Just before lunchtime, I had a brilliant idea and couldn't wait to tell him. 'Hey, Dev, I know how to save your drama club!' I said, as we queued for food. 'How?' he grumbled. 'Why don't you get all the members together and organise a variety show to raise money?' Dev's eyes lit up and his mouth gaped open. 'Oh my God, why didn't I think of that? That's the best idea since the twenty-pee thing!' Last April Fool's day I glued a twenty pence piece to the pavement outside Ged's house, then me and Dev both watched from behind a hedge while he tried to prise it off