Chapter 3

Monday Mam made pancakes for breakfast. I thought it was a special occasion but I couldn't think what it was. It wasn't my parents' anniversary, as Dad normally buys Mam an expensive bunch of flowers. Not because he is kind, generous and thoughtful, but because his mate at work's wife is a florist and can do him a good deal.

星期一妈妈做煎饼当早餐。 我以为这是一个特殊的场合，但我想不出那是什么。 那天不是我父母的结婚纪念日，因为爸爸通常会给妈妈买一束昂贵的花。 不是因为他善良、慷慨和体贴，而是因为他同事的妻子是个花店老板，可以帮他很多忙。

It was nobody's birthday either. It couldn't have been FUZZFACE's or Hulk's. FUZZFACE was a stray that turned up in our hallway two years ago. Nobody ever claimed her. I am not surprised, she is out of control! Hulk is the ancient-looking school guinea pig that Oli is currently looking after. Despite his name, Hulk is not threatening in the least. He is the size of bellybutton fluff and could probably blow away in the wind. He used to live in a hutch in the classroom, but because of his nervous disposition he couldn't stand the screaming kids and his fur fell out. None of the other kids would go near him after that because he looked so weird. But Oli thought he resembled a Star Wars character called Babu Frik, so on that basis he volunteered to take him home.

那天也不是谁的生日。 不可能是绒毛脸或绿巨人的。 FUZZFACE是一只流浪狗，两年前出现在我们的走廊里。 没人认领过她。我一点也不惊讶，她已经失控了！绿巨人是奥利现在照看的一只古色古香的学校小白鼠。 尽管他的名字是绿巨人，但他一点也不具有威胁性。 他只有肚脐绒毛那么大，可能会被风吹走。 他曾经住在教室里的一个小屋里，但由于他的神经质，他无法忍受孩子们的尖叫，他的毛都掉光了。 从那以后，其他孩子都不敢靠近他，因为他看起来很奇怪。 但奥利觉得他很像《星球大战》里一个叫巴巴·弗里克的角色，所以他自愿把他带回家。

It didn't matter what the occasion was, I was just looking forward to something other than cheapo, own brand Ricicle Krisps. Mam is going through a healthy-eating phase so she made the pancakes sugar-, gluten- and dairy-free. The excitement soon wore off when she told me that. I noticed Agung was using one of them as a tea coaster. He has a problem with coasters. And to be honest, it was probably the best use for it anyway.

不管是什么场合，我只是期待着除了廉价的自有品牌麦穗糖之外的东西。 妈妈正处于健康饮食阶段，所以她做的煎饼不含糖、麸质和乳制品。 当她告诉我那件事时，兴奋感很快就消失了。 我注意到阿贡用其中一个做杯垫。 他不喜欢杯垫。 说实话，这可能是它的最佳用途。

'Thought you might need cheering up,' said Mam. Pancakes that weren't sugar-, gluten- and dairy-free would have done the trick. 'You've been a bit glum lately, everything all right?' she added. I lifted my chin off the table and sighed. 'It's just... I'M NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING!' I blurted. 'Everyone except me has got something in the trophy cabinet. I'M A TOTAL LOSER.' Mam laughed as if I was making a big fuss over nothing. How would she like it if her highest achievement in life was winning a ridiculous party game?

“我想你可能需要振作起来，”妈妈说。 不含糖、麸质和乳制品的煎饼就能达到这个效果。 “你最近有点闷闷不乐，还好吗？”她又说。 我抬起下巴，叹了口气。 “这只是…我什么都不擅长！”我脱口而出。 “除了我，每个人的奖杯柜里都有东西。 我是个彻头彻尾的失败者。”妈妈笑了，好像我是在小题大做似的。 如果她一生中最大的成就是赢得一场荒谬的派对游戏，她会怎么想？

'Don't be silly, you're clever at loads of things!' she said, all high-pitched. 'Like what?' I said, taking a slug of orange juice and spilling it all down my jumper. 'Well er, there's er...' 'ARMPIT FARTS!' shouted Oli. 'Shoving peanuts up your nose,' Jack added. The world is a sad place when you have to live with brothers as immature as mine. 'You two, shut your traps!' said Mam, giving them the concrete-cracking glare.

“别傻了，你在很多事情上都很聪明！”她尖着嗓子说。 “像什么?”我说着，喝了一口橙汁，洒在我的毛衣上。 “嗯，嗯，有一个……“腋窝屁！”奥利喊道。 “往鼻子里塞花生。”杰克补充道。 当你不得不和像我这样不成熟的兄弟生活在一起时，这世界真是个悲哀的地方。 “你们两个，闭上你们的嘴！妈妈说，瞪了他们一眼。

She raised her eyebrows at Dad in a strange up and down way. I could almost hear the cogs grinding in his head as he thought long and hard of something. 'Oh, there was that time you won the Pin the Tail on the Donkey game!' he said. Agung burped loudly. 'My thoughts exactly,' I commented back. He chuckled and said something in Chinese. The conversation came to an abrupt end after that. It was probably for the best as we would have been sitting there until nightfall thinking about what I was good at.

她奇怪地朝爸爸扬起眉毛。 我几乎能听到他脑子里的齿轮在磨磨蹭蹭地思考着什么。 “哦，还有一次你赢了给驴钉尾巴的游戏！”他说。 阿贡打了个响亮的嗝。“正是我的想法，”我回应道。 他笑了笑，用中文说了些什么。 谈话在那之后戛然而止。 这可能是最好的，因为我们会坐在那里直到夜幕降临，思考我擅长什么。