Chapter 8

Saturday afternoon There was moaning all the way back to the B&B about missing lunch at the café. I said to Agung, 'Tell you what, I'll make you your favourite instant cup noodle with a pickled egg on top.' He definitely knew those English words because he clapped and shouted, 'Hao

liang!' 'What about me?' said Oli. 'You can have the biggest gobstopper I can find,' I said. I carefully dried and cut out the voucher, put it in an envelope I found in the bedside drawer and locked it firmly in the safe like gold bullion. Afterwards I tried drying my trousers with the hairdryer too, but the motor had worn out and wouldn't have dried a combover on an ant.

What to do With a pathetic hairdryer Dry combover on an anf Store it somewhere important, for example... THE BIN! I didn't think I'd end up in the sea fully dressed (not a typical holiday pastime– unless you're Victorian), so I'd only brought one pair of trousers with me. Dev offered to lend me a pair from his extensive spring wardrobe, but the only choices were: a) Paisley harem pants

b) Turquoise velvet jeggings c) The gold jogging bottoms he had on today (These were soggy so I couldn't wear them.) I would rather have worn a bin bag than go out looking like a fan of Debony Delite from Girlzlife, so I insisted that he give me the more acceptable camouflage cargo pants he'd brought along as spare emergency back-ups, and he wear a) or b) instead. Just as I thought my day was improving slightly, Oli whined, 'I'M HUNGRRRRY.' Honestly, since when was staying alive more important than getting on THE MEGA BEAST?! That boy needs to take a long hard look at himself and get his priorities

straight. Mind you, we had missed lunch and it was almost half two. Feeding him would be far more favourable than adding Social Services onto my list of nightmare scenarios. On the way out Wendy caught us at reception. ARGH! This holiday was one hold up after another. 'Afternoon, everyone. Lovely day for it,' she said. If she meant lovely day for running around, getting stressed and going slowly mad then she was spot on. 'Have you been anywhere nice so far?' she asked.

'We saw cockroaches in the library!' said Oli. Wendy frowned. 'Well, I'm sorry about that. I hope you've reported it to Sudmouth Council's pest control office.' I couldn't be bothered to explain that that's not what Oli meant. 'And we haven't had lunch yet!' Oli sniffed. WHAT. A. BLABBERMOUTH. 'Aw, look at him, scrawny little thing,' Wendy cooed. 'I'll make you lunch on the house if you like. Mr and Mrs Chan are always giving us free spring rolls, so it's the least I can do.'