Chapter 7

Saturday morning Don't ask me why but I made everyone walk to the amusement park so I could torture myself by staring longingly at THE MEGA BEAST through the railings. The queue was already a mile long. No wonder all the Sudmouth Posts were sold out. Those people must have camped outside the paper shops overnight to get their vouchers in time. Wish I had thought of that. I still have much to learn in this cruel world.

周六早上别问我为什么，我让每个人都步行去游乐园，这样我就可以通过渴望地隔着栏杆盯着巨型野兽来折磨自己。 队伍已经有一英里长了。 难怪所有的《萨德茅斯邮报》都卖光了。 那些人一定是在纸店外露营过夜，以便及时拿到代金券。 真希望我能想到这一点。 在这个残酷的世界上，我还有很多东西要学。

'I WANNA GO ON THAT!' said Oli, pointing at the kiddie's land train rumbling past. I sighed heavily and replied, 'We might have to make do with that if things carry on the way they are.' 'Actually, if the driver put his foot down over a few speed bumps, it would make a good substitute for THE MEGA BEAST,' said Dev, ever the annoying optimist. I couldn't think what else to do except go back to the B&B, stare at the peeling wallpaper then sob into my polyester-stuffed pillow.

“我想去！”奥利指着隆隆驶过的小火车说。 我重重地叹了口气，回答说：“如果事情照现在这样发展下去，我们可能不得不将就一下。”“事实上，如果司机把脚踩在几个减速带上，它就可以很好地代替巨型野兽了，”戴夫说，他一直是一个令人讨厌的乐观主义者。 我想不出还能做什么，除了回到旅馆，盯着剥落的墙纸，然后对着我的聚酯枕头抽泣。

'We must not be defeated!' cried Dev, shaking me out of my pitiful state. 'Luke'll help us look for vouchers. He's the greatest Jedi the galaxy has ever known,' said Oli, making Luke's eyes rotate from side to side. Agung patted me encouragingly on the back and kindly offered me a sherbet lemon with bits of fluff stuck to it out of his cagoule pocket. They were right. We didn't come all this way for nothing. 'OK, what other places will have newspapers?' I said. 'Erm, hairdressers... or a library?' said Oli.

“我们不能被打败！”戴夫喊道，把我从可怜的状态中摇了出来。 “卢克会帮我们找代金券的。 “他是银河系有史以来最伟大的绝地武士。”奥利说，让卢克的眼睛左右转动。 阿贡鼓励地拍了拍我的背，并从他的口袋里掏出一块粘着绒毛的柠檬果子露递给我。 他们是对的。我们大老远跑来可不是白跑的。 “好吧，还有哪些地方会有报纸？”我说。 “嗯,理发师…或者图书馆？奥利说。

For someone who sticks dolls' heads in jam jars, he is not as daft as he looks. 'Good call, Oli,' I said. 'We went past a hairdresser's in the high street earlier. I remember because Dev said his next hairdo would be a pink pixie bob like the model on the poster.' 'Purple,' said Dev, correcting me.

作为一个把娃娃头塞进果酱罐的人，他并不像看上去那么傻。 “好主意，奥利，”我说。“我们早些时候在商业街经过一家理发店。 我记得是因为戴夫说他的下一个发型会是海报上模特那样的粉色精灵波波头。“紫色，”戴夫纠正我说。

'Pink, purple, polka dot. This is no time for splitting hairs (har har). We need to get moving now!' I said, ushering them back towards the high street. When we got there, we glanced through the open door. 'Look, that lady's got our paper!' said Oli. Sure enough, underneath a dryer was a withered old woman with a foil-covered head reading the Sudmouth Post. She looked like she'd been left there and been forgotten about since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

“粉色，紫色，圆点图案。现在不是吹毛求疵的时候（哈哈）。 我们得马上行动！”我说着，把他们引回到大街上。 当我们到达那里时，我们透过敞开的门看了一眼。 “看，那位女士拿了我们的报纸！”奥利说。 果不其然，烘干机下面躺着一位干瘪的老妇人，她的头上盖着锡纸，正在阅读《萨德茅斯邮报》。 她看起来就像自从恐龙在地球上漫游以来就被遗弃在那里被遗忘了。

'How do we get hold of it?' Dev whispered. 'We could wait until she's completely mummified. Could be quite soon by the looks of it,' I smirked. Dev snorted, 'Or I could get a stink bomb from that joke shop across the road and set it off inside the salon.'

“我们怎样才能得到它呢？”Dev低声说。 “我们可以等到她完全变成木乃伊。 “看来很快就会了。”我傻笑着说。 戴夫哼了一声，“或者我可以从马路对面的笑话店买个臭弹，在沙龙里引爆。”