Chapter 6

Saturday– first thing Dev's thunderous snoring woke me at two a.m. then an angry seagull woke me at a quarter to six! I got up to bang on the window and scare it off, but when I drew back the curtains, the bird was GINORMOUS. It had a pair of mangled spectacles in its beak. I am sure it was one of those MONSTROUS killer albatrosses

I've heard about and it had obviously just taken a victim. I quickly drew the curtains closed again and jumped back into bed in shock. I took ages to nod off, then Dev prodded me awake at eight, which was way later than planned. Dev was already washed and dressed, in gold jogging bottoms and a TIGER PRINT fleece. He wore that outfit in Plunkthorpe once and an old lady asked if the circus was in town. 'Did you hear that mad seagull this morning?' I asked. 'No, but I heard you mumbling in your sleep about not wanting your eyes pecked out,' said Dev.

'Well, FYI you snore like a hippo face down in a vat of jelly,' I said. 'It's not my fault, it's these pillows,' said Dev. 'The polyester stuffing swells my sinuses.' I dressed and rushed downstairs, hoping the newsagent's hadn't sold out of Sudmouth Posts. We needed to get hold of those vouchers so we could get on the ride– it was the whole point of being here. Oli and Agung were already having breakfast in the dining room. 'Look, Maddy, mini marmalade!' said Oli, presenting me with a dish of assorted preserves in tiny little jars.

He knew that trying a mini marmalade was on my list of things to do before I turned into a boring old adult with no sense of adventure. It changed from week to week but at the moment my list looked like this: 5) Try a mini marmalade to see if tastes any different from regular-sized marmalade 4) Knit a gilet made out of wool woven from FUZZFACE's moulted fur 3) Break Plunkthorpe record for eating the most chocolate Easter eggs in one go–

POSTPONED 2) Karate chop a brick in half (not yet attempted due to sounding painful) 1) Get my own room (this has occupied top spot since Oli's birth) Unfortunately I had more urgent matters to attend to. 'Oli, stay here and watch Agung. Me and Dev are off to the newsagent's. We'll be back in ten minutes,' I said. We were just about to go forth on our urgent quest when my mobile phone rang. It was Mam. GREAT.

She always calls at the most inconvenient moments and it is normally about nothing in particular. From what I've gathered over the years though, it's a trait that all mams share. 'Hiya, Mam,' I said, slightly irked. 'Hiya, Maddy!' said Mam. 'Did you get there all right?' She was only one question in and the conversation was already nonsensical. Of course I got there all right, I texted to tell her that yesterday! Although any normal mam would have called to ask as soon as we'd arrived. Knowing her, she was probably preoccupied admiring the new carpet. 'YEEEES.'