Chapter 6

Saturday– first thing Dev's thunderous snoring woke me at two a.m. then an angry seagull woke me at a quarter to six! I got up to bang on the window and scare it off, but when I drew back the curtains, the bird was GINORMOUS. It had a pair of mangled spectacles in its beak. I am sure it was one of those MONSTROUS killer albatrosses

星期六——第一件事是凌晨两点戴夫雷鸣般的鼾声把我吵醒。 然后一只愤怒的海鸥在六点差一刻叫醒了我！我起身去敲窗户，想把它吓跑，但当我拉开窗帘时，那只鸟是巨大的。 它嘴里衔着一副破损的眼镜。 我敢肯定那是一只巨大的杀人信天翁

I've heard about and it had obviously just taken a victim. I quickly drew the curtains closed again and jumped back into bed in shock. I took ages to nod off, then Dev prodded me awake at eight, which was way later than planned. Dev was already washed and dressed, in gold jogging bottoms and a TIGER PRINT fleece. He wore that outfit in Plunkthorpe once and an old lady asked if the circus was in town. 'Did you hear that mad seagull this morning?' I asked. 'No, but I heard you mumbling in your sleep about not wanting your eyes pecked out,' said Dev.

我听说过的，很明显它刚刚夺走了一个受害者。 我赶紧拉上窗帘，震惊地跳回床上。 我花了很长时间才睡着，然后戴夫在8点把我叫醒，这比计划的要晚得多。 戴夫已经洗好衣服，穿着金色的慢跑裤和一件TIGER PRINT羊毛。 有一次他在普朗克索普穿了那套衣服，一位老太太问他马戏团是不是在城里。 “你今天早上听到那只疯海鸥的叫声了吗？”我问。 “没有，不过我听见你在睡梦中嘟哝着说不想让你的眼睛被啄出来。”戴夫说。

'Well, FYI you snore like a hippo face down in a vat of jelly,' I said. 'It's not my fault, it's these pillows,' said Dev. 'The polyester stuffing swells my sinuses.' I dressed and rushed downstairs, hoping the newsagent's hadn't sold out of Sudmouth Posts. We needed to get hold of those vouchers so we could get on the ride– it was the whole point of being here. Oli and Agung were already having breakfast in the dining room. 'Look, Maddy, mini marmalade!' said Oli, presenting me with a dish of assorted preserves in tiny little jars.

“好吧，顺便告诉你，你打呼噜就像一头脸朝下躺在一大桶果冻里的河马，”我说。 戴夫说：“这不是我的错，是这些枕头的错。” 聚酯填充物使我的鼻窦肿胀。我穿好衣服，冲下楼，希望《萨德茅斯邮报》的报刊亭没有卖光。 我们需要拿到这些代金券，这样我们才能搭上便车——这是我们来到这里的全部意义。 奥利和阿贡已经在餐厅吃早餐了。 “看，麦蒂，迷你橘子酱！”奥利说着，递给我一碟装在小罐子里的什锦蜜饯。

He knew that trying a mini marmalade was on my list of things to do before I turned into a boring old adult with no sense of adventure. It changed from week to week but at the moment my list looked like this: 5) Try a mini marmalade to see if tastes any different from regular-sized marmalade 4) Knit a gilet made out of wool woven from FUZZFACE's moulted fur 3) Break Plunkthorpe record for eating the most chocolate Easter eggs in one go–

他知道，在我变成一个没有冒险精神的无聊老人之前，尝尝迷你橘子酱是我要做的事情之一。 每周都在变，但目前我的清单是这样的：5)尝一个迷你果酱，看看味道是否和普通大小的果酱有什么不同；4)用FUZZFACE的脱毛毛编织一件羊毛背心；3)打破普伦克索普纪录，一口气吃下最多的巧克力复活节彩蛋

POSTPONED 2) Karate chop a brick in half (not yet attempted due to sounding painful) 1) Get my own room (this has occupied top spot since Oli's birth) Unfortunately I had more urgent matters to attend to. 'Oli, stay here and watch Agung. Me and Dev are off to the newsagent's. We'll be back in ten minutes,' I said. We were just about to go forth on our urgent quest when my mobile phone rang. It was Mam. GREAT.

2)空手道把一块砖劈成两半（因为听起来很痛苦，还没有尝试过）1)找个自己的房间（自从奥利出生以来，这一直占据首位）不幸的是，我有更紧急的事情要处理。 “奥利，留在这儿看着阿贡。 我和戴夫要去报刊亭了。 “我们十分钟后回来。”我说。 当我的手机响了的时候，我们正准备出发去执行我们的紧急任务。 是妈妈。好了。

She always calls at the most inconvenient moments and it is normally about nothing in particular. From what I've gathered over the years though, it's a trait that all mams share. 'Hiya, Mam,' I said, slightly irked. 'Hiya, Maddy!' said Mam. 'Did you get there all right?' She was only one question in and the conversation was already nonsensical. Of course I got there all right, I texted to tell her that yesterday! Although any normal mam would have called to ask as soon as we'd arrived. Knowing her, she was probably preoccupied admiring the new carpet. 'YEEEES.'

她总是在最不方便的时候打电话来，而且通常没什么特别的事。 然而，从我多年来收集到的信息来看，这是所有妈妈都有的特质。 “你好，太太。”我说，有点恼火。 “你好,麦迪!妈妈说。“你平安到达那里了吗？”她只问了一个问题，谈话已经很荒谬了。 当然了，我昨天发短信告诉她了！虽然任何一个正常的妈妈都会在我们一到就打电话问。 她了解她，很可能正全神贯注地欣赏新地毯呢。 “是的。”