Chapter 13

Sunday– 4.31 p.m. All we had to do was get into the amusement park without: a) Anyone going walkies off to distant lands b) Getting hassled by meat-head Ged c) Incidents relating to silly clothes, bulbous rolling vegetables or open sores

星期日——下午4点31分我们所要做的就是进入游乐园，不要出现以下情况：a)任何人都要去遥远的地方散步；b)被肉头的Ged骚扰；c)与愚蠢的衣服、球茎翻滚的蔬菜或暴露的疮有关的事件

And we needed to do it quick. I was going to say we had to get our skates on but I already did– HA! HA! When I gave Dev's skates back he pointed out a few scratches, but showed absolutely

而且我们得快点。 我本来想说我们得穿上溜冰鞋，但我已经穿上了——哈！哈!当我把戴夫的冰鞋还给他时，他指出了几处划痕，但他完全没有

zero concern about the fact that I could have ended up in stitches (the needle and thread kind, not roaring with laughter kind). He tutted and said, 'That's the last time you're borrowing my skates.' 'Funny that,' I answered. 'I was going to say the same thing myself. Borrow your skates, I mean, not you borrow mine. Because I don't have any, obviously.' This carried on for a while until Oli shouted, 'STOP IT, I'VE GOT A HEADACHE!'

一点也不担心我可能会被缝成针（针线的那种，不是大笑的那种）。 他啧啧地说：“这是你最后一次借我的冰鞋了。”“真有趣，”我回答。 我自己也想说同样的话。 我是说借你的冰鞋，不是你借我的。 因为很明显，我没有。”这种情况持续了一段时间，直到奥利喊道：“住手，我头痛！”

I'm sure that was down to the preposterous amounts of sugar he'd consumed today though and nothing to do with mine and Dev's bickering. Eventually we found ourselves standing in the ticket queue for the third time in as many days. It was beginning to feel like torture. Actually, getting my toenails pulled out by a crab getting its toenails pulled out simultaneously would have been more pleasant. To add to the agony, there was a family of fourteen at the front of the queue trying to work out the most cost-effective ticket combinations. Not with a calculator either, but by counting on their fingers. I heard them saying things like, 'No, two and two isn't five, YOU DUNCE!' And,

我敢肯定这是因为他今天吃了太多的糖，和我和戴夫的争吵无关。 最后，我们发现自己在这么多天里第三次排队买票了。 我开始觉得这像是一种折磨。 实际上，让一只蟹把我的脚趾甲拔出来同时让它把脚趾甲拔出来会更愉快。 更让人痛苦的是，排队的前面还有一个14口之家，他们正在想办法买到最便宜的票。 也不是用计算器，而是用手指数。 我听到他们说：“不，二加二不等于五，你这个笨蛋！”和,

'HOW can I count up to twelve? I've only got ten fingers!' FANTASTIC. The whole process was taking the same amount of time as Neptune does to orbit the sun (FYI, one hundred and sixty-five Earth years), so Dev decided to step in with some of his ear-splitting soprano singing in a bid to hurry them up and get them out of there. It turned out he didn't need to in the end as the youngest of the clan did a horribly SMELLY POO in his nappy and everybody abandoned the queue, leaving the mam to single-handedly sort out the mess. Now that's what I call family spirit.

“我怎样才能数到十二呢？” 我只有十个手指！”太棒了。 整个过程花费的时间与海王星绕太阳公转的时间相同（仅供参考，165个地球年），所以戴夫决定介入，用他震耳欲聋的女高音唱歌，试图加快他们的速度，让他们离开那里。 事实证明，他最终并不需要这么做，因为家里最小的孩子在他的尿布上撒了一坨难闻的便便，所有人都放弃了排队，留下这位母亲独自一人收拾烂摊子。 这就是我所说的家庭精神。

This meant we were now at the front– AT LAST! We bought our tickets and walked straight through the entrance gates without a hitch. After a group high five where we all managed to miss each other's hands due to lack of coordination, we joined another queue for THE MEGA BEAST. We were close enough to see the faces of the passengers zooming past. I couldn't quite work out what their expressions were, but I was guessing it was a mixture of surprise, awe and sickening vertigo. By gesturing, I explained to Agung that while we were on the ride, he was to wait for us at the bottom, and when it finished, we would get off and meet him. I did a wavy

这意味着我们现在终于在前线了！我们买了票，顺利地径直穿过大门。 在集体击掌之后，由于缺乏协调，我们都错过了彼此的手，我们加入了另一个排队的MEGA BEAST。 我们离得很近，可以看到飞驰而过的乘客的脸。 我不太清楚他们的表情是什么，但我猜那是一种混杂着惊讶、敬畏和令人作呕的眩晕的表情。 我用手势向阿贡解释说，我们在车上的时候，他要在底部等我们，等车停了，我们就下车去见他。 我做了一个波浪