Chapter 12

Sunday– late afternoon Back at the prom we headed straight for the café to tell Agung and Oli the excellent news. We hadn't been gone that long so I figured they were probably still digging into their hideous freakshakes. But when we walked in, there was no sign of them. Just a group of builders inhaling platters of all-day breakfasts and a woman feeding her whippet a custard slice.

I had instructed Oli not to move but I should have learned by now that he always does the opposite of what I tell him. It is infuriating. 'Maybe they've gone for a little lie-down after all that sugar,' said Dev. 'I'm the one that needs a flipping lie-down!' I said, patting my sweaty brow with a napkin. 'Why don't you call them?' said Dev. 'Good idea,' I replied, fumbling for my phone. I dialled Agung's doddery old person's phone, but he didn't pick up.

GREAT. What was the point of having a portable communication device if he never used it?! I calmed myself down by thinking about gerbils sitting in eggcups. It was proving quite effective, so I added on a few tuxedos, monocles and daisy hats. CUUUUUUTE. 'Maddy...' shouted Dev. 'MADDY!' 'Oh sorry, I was daydreaming,' I said. 'About what?'

'You really don't need to know,' I told him. Dev agreed and said, 'Listen, if we want to get on THE MEGA BEAST, we need to find Agung and Oli, like NOW.' 'What about your gammy foot?' I asked. 'Don't worry, I've got it covered, literally,' said Dev, showing me a dozen layers of blister patches stuck over his wound.

We couldn't work out where to search first. They wouldn't have gone to the high street. They had run out of things to sniff and prod ages ago. And they couldn't be on the beach as Oli had the same dislike of sand-in-between-toes chafing as me.

Then I had a thought. 'Do you know what I reckon?' I said. 'That the earth is flat?' said Dev. 'No.' 'That the moon is made of cheese?' 'NO.' 'That the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist?' 'HOW VERY DARE YOU!' Sometimes the nonsense that comes out of that lad's mouth makes me want to put a bucket over his head and bang it repeatedly with a wooden spoon until he sees sense. 'What then?' he asked.