Chapter 11

Sunday afternoon Me and Dev rushed out of the aquarium car park to see which way the courier scooter had gone. We were just in time to see the back lights disappearing down the high street. FANTASTIC. Ged and his granny were nowhere to be seen. Agung was still standing by the photo board trying to get a picture of Oli on his camera, completely oblivious to the chaos. At

least THEY were having a good time! There was a golf buggy parked by the prom and in a moment of insanity I thought about borrowing it for a kind of rubbish low-speed pursuit, even though my feet would barely reach the pedals and I had problems telling my left from my right. I didn't fancy ending up in A&E trussed up with a neck brace and leg splints, so I dismissed that idea pretty quickly. 'Sudmouth's only tiny, the courier can't go far,' said Dev. 'A bit like you with those harem pants on,' I replied, watching them billow like sails in the wind. Physically I prepared myself for yet another chase around town, but mentally all I wanted was a hot chocolate and a ten-hour

foot massage in a jacuzzi. We had to get those vouchers back though. We were almost there. We couldn't risk being held up this time so I said to Oli, 'Right, you've been assigned to grandad-sitting duties again!' 'AWWW, DO I HAVE TO?' he bawled. 'Yes,' I said. 'Can I have Magic Moo this time?' 'Novelty balloons not involved, I'm afraid.' 'Awww, what can I have then?' he bawled again. Oli was on the verge of one of his tantrums and I had to stop it before he threatened to call Mam and fabricate some story about how

appallingly I was treating him. I saw a poster outside the café advertising something I knew he had wanted to try for ages. 'Ooh look,' I said. 'Why don't you get a freakshake?' 'I'll watch Agung if I can have one of those!' he replied, before I hardly finished my sentence. Freakshakes are basically what a little kid would put together if you left them alone to make their own dinner. The one on the poster showed a tall glass stuffed with

strawberry milkshake, chocolate ice cream, custard, whipped cream and topped with a slice of Battenberg cake. I suppose they are called freakshakes because they are for freaks! Rumour has it that Poppy Plummel from school had one last year and ended up having all her top teeth replaced with a set of dentures– at the age of eleven! Oli offered to use his birthday money to treat Agung too. I said, 'Good lad, we'll be back in half an hour and whatever you do, DON'T MOVE!' Agung didn't understand what was happening so I did some shoddy sign language which probably made him think I was about to knit a balaclava and ladle soup

into a wellington boot. He seemed to accept that explanation. We didn't get far before Dev's new loafers started rubbing on his heels. He had to visit the chemist for a packet of blister patches which cost three pounds ninety-nine when he could have just worn socks. Serves himself