Chapter 10

Sunday– late morning WOO-HOO! We had all three vouchers at last! After a blissful second of letting it sink in, we had a maniacal five-minute victory conga around the dining room of the B&B. Everyone except Agung, that is, who claimed his sciatica was playing up but really he was too busy scoffing the complimentary shortbread. Even Princess joined in bounding around, until her delicate ankles gave way under her colossal body weight and she toppled into the crockery cabinet. Wendy

reassured us that there was no damage as even though Princess was built like a World War Two tank, all the decorative crockery on the premises was glued down due to her clumsiness (Princess's not Wendy's). I sprang upstairs, fetched the other vouchers and hustled everyone out of the door. We were so excited. The whole reason we were in Sudmouth was about to happen! There was a longish queue at the ticket booth but for once we had plenty of time. The park wasn't closing for another four hours so we could take it easy. It was difficult though. No matter how hard I conjured up calming images of wicker baskets full of baby sloths in tutus, I could not relax.

How to stay calm by thinking about these... Baby sloth in a tvtv Gerbil in an egg cup Duckling in a daisy hat Panda in pants It had been one disaster after another since we arrived, so why shouldn't anything else go wrong at any minute? I took a deep breath and hummed, 'OMMMM', like Mam does every time an electric bill comes through the door. But then Oli swatted me with his doll.

'What did you do that for?' I said. 'I thought that humming sound was a wasp!' he said. So much for that calming technique. The queue was getting shorter. We were nearly there. THE MEGA BEAST was within our grasp! Just then I saw something that made my stomach lurch. It wasn't the pigeon pecking at the squashed kebab on the tarmac, or Oli picking his nose and eating it. It was GED SPONGER, the BULLY, from school! He was by the waffle stand with an old lady in a woollen waistcoat. I knew it was his granny because Ged visited her at the Autumnal Leaves care home's open evening when I helped out on the cake stall. They

must have been on a day trip. Nice for them, but hell on earth for me. 'Dev, don't look now, but Ged Sponger's in town getting a toffee sauce tower!' I whispered loudly. Immediately Dev did a most obvious three-hundred-and-sixty-degree pirouette with a bobbing meerkat head movement. Subtlety has never been his strong point. 'Oh my god, Ged Sponger's in town getting a toffee sauce tower!' he hissed. Dev also likes repeating what you've said, while adding his own theatrical twist for effect. It is very irritating. I didn't want Ged to see us. He still hadn't got me and Dev

back for making him fall into the care home's ornamental fish pond. I swore it was an accident! We were meant to catch Oli's runaway guinea pig, but due to my uncoordinated upper limbs and Dev's useless aim, we chucked the tablecloth/net over Ged's hard-to-miss massive bonce by mistake, thereby obscuring his vision and directing him into the huge stagnant puddle– HA! HA! I didn't want to lose our place in the queue but there was no telling what Ged would do if he spotted us. I moved everyone away to hide behind a nearby photo board. A classic one with the skinny man and portly woman in matching one-piece bathing suits painted on it. Once everyone was safely behind, me and Dev stuck our heads through the face